Tuesday, November 15, 2005

I told you..........

......That I was a complete ass towards my wife (Summer Rose (her new name)) for a long time, and that I deserved every thing she did to me. What she has written is true. I did lose my temper with her for STUPID shit. Why you may ask? To tell the truth I don't know. I will not type here and try to make up excuses blaming my parents or anyone else for that matter. Nobody made me act like that. I did it on my own. There is no excuse for what I did. None. The important thing is that we are moving on. We are finally starting to move past the hurtful things in our past. I just wish I saw it sooner. She still has a lot of pent up hurt from me that I imposed on her. That is part of the reason that I wanted her to start her own Blog. So that she can get it all out in a place where she will not be judged. It has actually helped us out since she has written her first post. Summer seems to be happier getting things off her chest so to speak.
So where do we go from here? I don't know. I just know that we are working on things as they come. Like when I first started my blog I'm sure Summer will do the same. She will let all the hurt out.
Good night.


Michael said...

I admire you for taking responsibility for your actions. Usually today you only hear people trying to blame their actions on parents, friends, society, government, etc. I hope blogging helps her and the two of you can move forward together.
Best of Luck,

Confused Husband said...

Who else can I blame? I'm the one with the problem. Not anyone else. I've never tried to blame anything I've done on my parents. They did a good job raising me. I made the mistakes and now I need to own up to them. I haven't been the person she has described in quite a while now. I had an 'out of body' experience about 2 years ago. I saw what I was doing and at that point decided that it would never happen again. Everytime I start to get upset or angry I remember that day and the anger goes away. Or finds a better way to come out.
Here's to life changing revalations!

Lizzie said...

I read Summer Rose's blog today before I read yours. It brings to mind a Dr Phil euphamism... "it takes a thousand 'atta-girls' to make up for one hurtful comment". It sounds like you have begun the process towards the first thousand. If you have sincerely changed your behavior, your marriage will improve and you & Summer Rose will be much happier. Another favorite saying of mine; "you did the best you could, and when you knew better, you did better". Good luck, you are on the right road!

ksy said...

yup that's what i figured, anger management issues. that's what I was dealing with, with my X. He's finished with wife #3 now. It was always their fault, that he got mad that is.

he got mad cuz dinner wasn't on the table. amongst other things to trivial to mention.

he blamed his father for the way he behaved. maybe that was true, but his father didn't kick me.
his father didn't steal 6 years of my life.

you need to find out what's the underlying thing to your anger.
she can't make you happy, no one can. if life isn't working out the way you want it to at any given moment, you need to find a new way to deal with it. your method over the past many many years, is malfunctioning your life

and it will follow you right into your next relationship and the one after that.