Monday, July 30, 2007

The lost art of dateing

As I had said in my post about the weekend getaway Miss Kick Ass Rack had hit on a topic that I wanted to discuss, but didn't want to ruin the good points of our weekend away together. In her post she describes an evening out with her husband without the kids. She feels like they have "forgotten how to date". Ironically I felt the same way when Summer and I returned from Reno.

I want to make one thing very clear though before I continue. We did have a wonderful time together. It was relaxing and nice to finally be alone. We really needed the time alone.

Here is the thing though. We really didn't talk much the entire time that we were gone. The drive up was spent listening to the radio. We held hands pretty much the entire time, but conversation was lacking. When we stopped for breakfast at Denny's we sat at the table in silence. Outside of asking if the other was liking the food. Or Summer asking me how my stomach was holding up.

When we got to Reno and got into our room again not much talk. We laid on the bed and almost instantly fell asleep. When we woke up we had a wonderful round of coupling, showered and went down to the casino. We walked around to various places for a little over an hour. Not much talking. Went back to our room and got ready for dinner. While we ate dinner again it was pretty much in silence.

Are you seeing a theme here?

I'll go ahead and spare you the rest of the details.

The point is that somewhere along the line we seem to have forgotten how to carry on a conversation that didn't revolve around the kids. I did feel connected to Summer while we were together but it also felt like something was missing. That something was conversation. It is something that I crave. But it is also something that I have forgotten how to do. There isn't just one of us that is to blame for this. It is both of us. It just seems awkward that with as little time that we do see each other on a regular basis that we have nothing to talk about.' Either we don't want to talk about it because we are on a "date night" (ie. kids, work) or we have already talked about it. How did we ever get to this point? Or maybe a better question would be when have we NOT been at this point.

Like things have always been between us the physical aspect of our relationship while on our getaway was wonderful. As has always been the case throughout our relationship the communication wasn't all that it could have been. In some ways I guess it's a good thing that we have difficulties in communication. It cuts down on the possibilities of an argument. At the same time it frightens me. Our kids won't live with us forever. When the boys move out of the house how will we communicate with each other? I don't want a life of living in the same house with the woman I love and have nothing to talk about. If things go like they have historically for us the sex will be good in the future, but like I said I want more than that. I'm just not sure how to change it.

I like to talk to people. Sometimes. But all the conversations I have are superficial. I don't really have any "deep" talks. That is another regret that I have. When I'm out with my dad whether it be hunting or fishing we have the perfect opportunity to have a meaningful conversation. We always let the chance slip through our grasp though. It's sad really.

For now this is about all I can write. My brain is getting jumbled with thoughts.

Friday, July 27, 2007

I don't know where the time has been going lately. I do know this though: there doesn't seem to be enough of it lately. I mean seriously think about it. Summer is almost over already. School starts again in a few weeks. Aug. 22 I believe. What do we have to show for this years summer vacation time? NOTHING! We haven't done squat this summer. no family vacation like usual. We usually take a trip to Tahoe a few weeks before school starts. Not this year. There just isn't enough money. That and the fact that I'm running dangerously low on vacation time. Things have just sucked it down big time this year. Between Dr. appointments, Summer's surgery, and coming home early to take care of youngest son it's just getting drained. I've got just over 2 weeks but I like to keep that in reserve. I see 100 hours of vacation as zero. Especially when there is only 40 hours of sick leave.

That last paragraph bored the hell out of you all didn't it. It's ok. Admit it. It bored me and I'm the one that wrote it.

Anyways I have a few things on my mind. Unfortunately they aren't enough to make a stand alone post. So it's time for the bullet post!

  • As I have eluded to previously I'm not a small person. Weight has always been an issue with me. In fact that is why I was kicked out of the Army.I was over weight. Don't take into account that from the day I signed up and the day that I was booted out I lost 80 pounds. I went from a size 42 down to a 36. Then when I left I ballooned right back up there. A few years ago, 2003I believe, I started a new diet. I did the Adkins thing. You know the diet where you eat meat and stuff but no carbs. That means no bread or potatoes. No beer or soda. I did dam good though. I started in June and stopped for the Christmas holiday. Went from 280 down to 206. Once again I was in a size 36. The intention was to go back on the diet after Christmas. Never happened. Now? Now I'm at the heaviest I've ever been. Just over 300. Plus my waist is a 44 now. I have tried various diets through the years and none of them worked except for the Adkins. I can't give up bread or potatoes again though. So now I'm considering something else. My neighbor had a gastric bypass surgery a few months ago. He's dropping weight like crazy. So I'm considering the thought of seeing if Kaiser will approve me for the procedure. I mean they have already told me that I'm "morbidly obese" so whats the harm. Right?

  • As most of my long time readers know I started this blog because of the problems that Summer and I were going through. Since then it has gone through a few different phases. Mainly now it is used to help me keep my thoughts in check. That was the main problem that Summer and I had. I would think something in the heat of the moment and instead of thinking about it I would say whatever was in my mind. I have done a much better job of that in the past year or two. It still lingers and I catch myself doing it, but I am getting better. It is coming at an expense though. I am now afraid to bring certain topics up in fear of them being taken the wrong way. So I just keep them inside. I know that is a bad thing as well. I really need to find a balance between the two. Some of these things really need to be said and discussed. I just need to get over my fear of losing my temper again.

  • I have always wanted to get a tattoo. Ever since I was in Jr. High. I just was never in a position where I could afford one. Well that urge of wanting one never went away. In fact it is getting stronger now. I really want one. Badly. I've got several in mind that I want to get. Just don't have a location of where I want them to be.

  • I really can't wait for the upcoming hunting season to get here. Especially since dove season opens on a Sat. this year. So I'll be out for the morning hunt and then the evening hunt. It's still up in the air if I'm going deer hunting this year though. I will be going duck hunting though. Surprise surprise. :D There is a group of 8 people that are putting in for the opener of goose and duck season at Tule Lake. My dad, 2 uncles, 2 cousins, and one of my uncles is bringing 2 nephews for their first duck hunt. Then we are planning on going back to Tule to go pheasant hunting. The plan now is to leave right after we eat thanksgiving dinner. Make the 11 hour drive, sleep a little bit and hunt Fri. Sat. and Sun. What a way to spend the Thanksgiving holiday!

  • This really has nothing to do with anything, but I really like this song. That and they are performing at Sac Valley Amphitheatre tonight. And I can't go. It's not that bad though. They are the only ones on the Project Revolution Tour that I'm interested in seeing so a ticket would just be a waste of money anyways.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Randomosity III

Sticks and stones may break my bones

but whips and chains excite me.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Feelin XL

The other day we went over to my parents house to see my dad. He came home early from his trip to Alaska. 2 weeks early. Anyways we're there and are watching the videos that he took and looking at the pictures. Having a good time.

When it got to be time to leave my dad and I walk in front of summer and my mom who are sitting on the couch. Suddenly Summer and my mom are laughing and Summer is pointing at my dads crotch. Nice dear.

Dad looks down and he has a sticker just about even with his zipper. It is about a 1" circle. All it has on there is the letters XL.

Without missing a beat my dad says "Well I was feeling a bit Extra Large today".

Good times. Good times.

Friday, July 20, 2007

The White Stripes - Icky Thump

I heard this "song" (I use the pfrase lightly with as much sarcasm as I can type) on the radio the other night for the first time. All in all I must say this is the worst thing to happen to music since that sweater song that Therese posted a few months ago. Had I heard this back then I most definately would have won seeing as there is NOTHING that can hurt a humans ears more than this.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

The weekend getaway

Well Summer and I finally had our weekend getaway to Reno. It was a good time, but like all good things it just wasn't nearly long enough. Why is that? Vacations just never seem to be long enough. We were actually quite lucky to be on this little trip actually. It almost didn't happen because I caught a very bad stomach virus on Thu. It was not pleasant at all. But it was too late to cancel the reservations so there was no way I was going to stay at home. We were going to go on this trip even if it would kill me in the end.

Slight detour here. I LOVE the new auto save feature Blogger now has. It just saved me from deleting this post.

so Sat. morning came and we were all ready to go. Dropped the kids off with my mom and away we went. This was a slow leisurely trip so I was in no hurry to get to our destination. That being said we stopped off on the way at Denny's for breakfast. What a disappointment. They stopped selling their breakfast skillets. But we persevered! Along the way we decided that we were going to take a slight detour on the way. Usually we just got straight to Reno over I80. But this time I wanted to see some sites. So instead we went over the old Donner Pass. The old highway 40. Now that was a beautiful scenic route. Especially when you get to the summit. The view up there is just breathe taking.

We arrived in Reno at about 12:30 and got checked in to Circus Circus. When we got to our room we were on the 12th floor and the view was nice. We had a room that looked west back onto I80 and the mountains. So we got settled in and saw the bed. Oh yeah. We got a real treat this weekend. We got a room with a king size bed. Let the fun begin. This being an adult weekend with no kids we knew exactly what needed to be done with that bed too.

One look at it and it was.

Oh yeah. We hopped on that bed curled up and took an hour long nap. now that's living right there. I tell you what.

After our little cat nap we went down to the casino and just walked around. Asking each other what we wanted to do. That went on for about 2 hours or so. Until we made our way back to the room. With the king size bed. It looked so inviting. Once again I knew exactly what to do. Lay down for another nap.

Hey I still had the stomach virus! Give a guy a break.

Summer on the other hand had different plans. So we did what she wanted instead. We had adult type of fun.

After our little romp we showered and headed down to El Dorado for our first buffet experience of the trip. I had been hyping this up to everyone I know for a few weeks that I couldn't wait to get to the buffet lines. I was bragging that a buffet hasn't been created yet that could take me out. I was going to make this place wish they had never said all you can eat crab legs and shrimp.

Sadly I must admit it though. Due to the virus this place ate me up and spit me out. I had my ass handed to me. I ate one and a half small plates of food. What a disappointment.

After dinner it was time to walk along the strip and take some night photos. It was a bit warm out though for 9:30 at night so we weren't out long. We then found ourselves back in the casino for some slot machine fun. I/we did pretty well too I must say. I put a 10 in my machine and made that 10 last about 30 minutes. Cashed out with $8.40. At one point I was ahead 2 whole dollars! WooHoo! Summer lost about another dollar. Real high rollers the two of us make right?

It was now time for bed so up we went to our room. I took some more pictures of the city scape before heading to bed and asleep we went. Real party animals.

Sun. it was waking time and what a wake up call I got too I must say. It back at it for the adult entertainment. But it was not just any other frolic that we usually enjoy together. Oh no. Summer actually asked me to re-introduce ice into our adult fun activities. So Sun. morning was extremely fun indeed. Then it was off to the Atlantis for their Sun. Brunch. All you can eat. I had been building this brunch up for the same amount of time as I was the dinner buffet. With the same results. I had my ass handed to me. A sad sad day indeed.

The rest of the drive home was quite nice. We got home felling refreshed and relaxed. That is until we got my moms house and picked up the kids. Then it was right back to normal again. Oh joy.

All in all it was a wonderful weekend away. We enjoyed each others company and had a short amount of time to recharge our batteries. Now we just need to try and get a little bit longer period of time away together. At least 2 nights next time.

These two photos are of Donner lake from the summit. It truly is an amazing site to see.

Here we have what apparently can only be described as 'Beauty and the Beast'. Otherwise known as Summer and CH.

The biggest little city in the world. We were once told that the casinos are not allowed to have all their lights lit up at any one given time. i think if I remember correctly they only have approximately 60% of the lights on at once. It would take up to much energy to have them lit up all in their glory.

I just like the back of this shirt summer is wearing.
This would be the entrance to El Dorado.
This is the Silver Legacy. I have more pictures of what is on the inside of the dome. They have a Silver mine inside that is pretty cool. They are actually celebrating their anniversary this year. I'd love to be there for the celebration they are going to throw. As a side note the Silver Legacy was under construction when Summer and I got married in Reno 1994. The chapel we got married at is about 3 blocks from where this picture was taken.

Finally we have Circus Circus which is where we stayed at. It's a nice hotel especially if you have little rug rats......cough excuse tagging along. They have circus shows and a carnival inside. But if you want our recommendation go down off the strip and stay at the Atlantis. Much better hotel for the money. Rooms are nicer and the resort is a lot newer. The other thing that we like about Atlantis is that they have much better views there from the hotel rooms. Plus they give you a choice of views. Mountains or the city. Where we were at you don't get a choice. It's whatever they have open. Of course if you want to stay on the strip one of the big 3 pictured here is the place to stay. I really think that the next time we go to Reno we will be staying at Silver Legacy. The rooms are pricey but from what I hear they are well worth it. The nice thing about the big 3 is that they are all connected on the second floor. You can enter in Circus Circus, walk through the circus area and into Silver Legacy, watch the silver mine and laser light show, go into El Dorado take in dinner and a show, then go back to Silver Legacy to gamble, back to your room at Circus circus all without going out into the heat. Which is a blessing on a hot summer day. Especially in Nevada. Or if it is snowing and cold outside in the winter time.

So is our weekend in a nutshell. As I have eluded in comments at FADKOGS there is a little bit more to the weekend, but I want to save that for another post. I'd like to keep this post up beat and positive.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Lucky Man - Montgomery Gentry

I have days where I hate my job
This little town and the whole world too
Last Sunday when my Steelers lost
Lord it put me in a bad mood

I have moments when I curse the rain
Then complain when the sun's too hot
I look around at what everyone has
And I forget about all I've got

But I know I'm a lucky man
God's given me a pretty fair hand
Got a house and a piece of land
A few dollars in a coffee can
My old trucks still running good
My ticker's ticking like they say it should
I got supper in the oven, a good woman's loving
And one more day to be my little kid's dad
Lord, knows I'm a lucky man

Got some friends who would be here fast
I could call em any time of day
Got a brother who's got my back
Got a mama who I swears a saint
Got a brand new rod and reel
Got a full week off this year
Dad had a close call last spring
It's a miracle he's still here

But I know I'm a lucky man
God's given me a pretty fair hand
Got a house and a piece of land
a few dollars in a coffee can
My old trucks still running good
My ticker's tickin' like they say it should
I got supper in the oven, good woman's lovin'
And one more day to be my little kid's dad
Lord, knows I'm a lucky man

My old trucks still running good
My ticker's ticking like they say it should
I got supper in the oven, a good woman's lovin'
And even my bad days ain't that bad
Yeah, I'm a lucky man
I'm a lucky lucky man

Yes indeed. Sometimes I may not realize this. I may take things for granted. I might not be able to see what I truly have because I'm so caught up in myself. thinking only of everything that is wrong in my life. Through it all though, I truly am, A Lucky Man.

Monday, July 09, 2007

It's been quite a long time since I have been here with anything of real substance around here. Honestly I have no good reason for that either. I've been running around pretty busy here lately.

  • Things around the house have been on a slight upswing. Youngest moods have seemed to stabilized. He still has his moments but they are getting to be less frequent and when they do occur they aren't lasting as long. At least that is my observation. I'm sure that SR's will be different. He is a totally different child after I go to work and he is alone with her.
  • Oldest son spent the weekend with my sister last weekend. We went up there for dinner Fri. night and got to meet her new girlfriend.
  • Since youngest son didn't get to spend the weekend with her Summer and I took him to go see a movie on Sat. evening. We went to go see Ratatouille. It was a pretty good movie. It was also the first movie I ever went to that I walked out in the middle to get the free refill of popcorn. I always buy the big one with free refill but never get the refill. I'm just a sucker.
  • The movie experience was a good one though. It was his first trip to a movie theatre. He did really well. Sat there the entire movie and watched in silence.
  • Two weeks ago we went camping at the family reunion. That was a good trip. Although there weren't as many people there as usual. My great uncles family wasn't there this year. He has Alzheimer's and isn't doing very well. They aren't expecting him to last much longer.
  • Summer and I have been getting along swimmingly lately. I think she's still excited about her new car. Hell I'm still excited over the new car. It's a gas guzzler though. Well let me rephrase that. The mileage is good on it for a V8. It gets the same mileage as the Explorer. So that is actually pretty good. The thing is that it has a 22 gallon tank. Damned expensive to fill. Especially at 3.15 a gallon.
  • Just a few more days until Summer and I take off for Reno. The trip is going to be great! We're going to Circus Circus for the night. We leave at 8:00 in the morning Sat. and won't be back till Sun. night. I can't wait! So far the itinerary is based on buffet food. We're eating dinner at the El Dorado Sat. night. The we're hitting the Atlantis for their buffet brunch Sun. morning. At some point on the trip we will be hitting Sportsman Warehouse too. I'll be like a little kid in Toy's R Us. It's the hunting/fishing mans toy store. I'm all giddy.
  • We have nothing else planned for the trip. Except of course hot crazy hotel sex. We might spend a few dollars in a slot machine but that's just for the free drinks.
  • You know a funny thing happened the other day. Summer was having a bad day and was kinda depressed. I told her that the reason for the depression was due to lack of sex. I told that it is scientifically proven that people that have sex more frequently are less susceptible to depression and are happier in their day to day lives. Since that talk we have had sex 3 times in 36 hours. And guess what? We're both happier people! (I have absolutely nothing to back up what I said.)

  • That's all for now. Just dropping in to say that things are going pretty good from my point of view. I can't wait for Reno this weekend.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Randomosity II

Kinky is using a feather.

Perverted is using the whole chicken.