Thursday, September 28, 2006

Sex and kids

Well to start off with I was able to perform twice so far this week! :::Happy Dance!::: (that was so girly of me) summer and I had a fantastic session on Tue. afternoon before the kids came home from school. Let me just say that she is amazing. She's even adding new things on her own. She was very vocal when we were alone. That is a huge turn on for me hearing how excited she gets. But the icing on the cake was when I was ready to cum she grabbed both of my nipples and squeezed them. OMG! I came so hard from her doing that. When we were done I asked her what brought that on especially at that precise moment. She said it just came to her as something to do. Well she can do that whenever she wants to. :D

Then this morning when I woke up I was feeling quite........amorous. So I did what just came naturally. I rolled over on top of Summer and gave her a kiss. She in turn kissed me back and opened up to receive me. It was amazing how easy it was to slip right inside of her. There was no foreplay at all on either of our parts, but she was still ready to take me in. After a few minutes I stopped long enough to play with her clit with my tongue. God I just love the taste of her. I paused all of this long enough to just breathe in her scent. She smells ssoooooo good.

She told me that she wanted to feel me inside of her again so I got back between her legs. After a few strokes I moved my legs outside of hers and sat up. She likes the way that I can rub on her when I sit up. She pulled me back down on top of her and began to tell me she wanted me to fill her up. I was so ready to do just that. I told her to say it some more. She said it in my ear and I felt her hot breathe. That sent me over the edge. I came inside of her and collapsed on top of her.

It was at that moment that she looked at the alarm clock. Oh shit! Your going to be late for work! I looked at the time and saw that I had 10 minutes to get dressed and get to work. Good thing I live so close to the yard. I wiped myself off quickly, threw on some clothes and ran out the door.

When I got to work my crew said that I looked very happy and wanted to know what was up with me. I just said that it was a beautiful day today. Then my boss come in and gives out the job assignments for the day. Everyone got an assignment but me. So I asked what was I supposed to do. Then he reminded me about my physical. He said that I had a 9:30 appointment for my DMV physical.

"Oh crap. I forgot about that."

"Did you need to ger cleaned up?"

"Yes I do. I totally forgot it was this morning."

"Well you have 30 minutes to get home and back here."

I ran out to the truck and headed home. Called Summer to ask if the shower was open. She said it will be in a few minutes. (We only have one shower.) This is where the day got funny. I walk in the door and youngest asks what I'm doing home. I tell him and summer that I have a Dr. apt. that I forgot about and need to take a shower. Summer starts laughing at me. Youngest says 'Why didn't you take a shower before work?' In a bossy tone of voice.

"I did take a shower last night."

"Then why are you taking one now?"

"Because daddy exercised this morning and didn't have time for a shower before work."

Summer is turning red now.

"What did you exercise?"

"I did push ups."

"What kind of pushups?"

"The adult exercise kind."

"Show me what you did."

"I can't."

"Why?"

"Your too young to do these push ups."

"Oh."

Summer just turns real red and laughs. I get in the shower and go back to work.

So the real good news in all of this is that I am starting to get my drive back slowly but surely. Now I just need to get a few more things tweaked with and I think this medication thing will be pretty livable. Just don't want to be on this stuff for the rest of my life.

Good night all and happy shagging!

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Home again


Well I've returned from my hunting trip with my boys and my dad. It was a fun trip. Saw some new and awesome sights. But saw very few deer. We saw 4 deer on Sat. 2 does and 2 fawns. The coolest part about seeing the deer on Sat. was that I have never seen a fawn that still had the white markings on it. That was a high point of the trip for me. I didn't have time to get the camera out to get a picture though.

On Sun. youngest son did really good and spotted the first deer of the day. He did exactly like he was supposed to do to. He tugged on my shirt, gasped quietly and whispered 'Dad there's a deer'. I turned around and there was a doe standing out in the open. She stood there for a few seconds and continued walking and eating. Soon her 2 fawns followed her down over the hill out of sight.


The highlight of the trip for the boys was getting to shoot the .22's. My dad and I found a secluded spot where we had a good back stop of a hill and set up some cans and some paper targets. They had a blast shooting them. Well youngest had a blast trying to shoot them. Oldest did a good job of hitting the cans consistantly.

After we were done shooting we continued down the road doing some road hunting. The road ended up being a dead end so we had to turn around and go back the way we came. In total from the time we started on this road to the time we got turned around and got back to where we were shooting was about 90 minutes. This is important to the story.

after we got a few turns past the shooting location my dad stopped the truck and said that he saw something strange. He got out of the truck and told the kids to stay there. He told me to come with him and bring the binoculars. When I got to where he was at and looked down the side of the hill we saw a truck at the bottom that was on it's side.

We were talking the situation over trying to decide whether or not it was there when we came through earlier. We determined that it wasn't there when we originally came through. So that meant that we needed to go down to the bottom of the hill and see if there was anyone inside still and if they were hurt or not. We both said at the same time 'I really don't want to go down there to find a mangled dead body'. As we started our decent we saw 2 CDF trucks drive up. They said that the people who were in the truck were ok and were on their way in another truck. At this point we were blocked in. So we stayed there while more CDF guys and 2 CHP officers arrived. The occupants of the truck came up with the CHP officers. When they got there we got the story of what happened.

Apparently they were road hunting like we were. In this type of hunting you basically drive around on old logging roads at an idle watching the hillside for signs of deer. So your going at a speed of maybe 2 miles an hour. Anyways they saw a buck and went to stop the truck. The next thing they knew they were going backwards down the hill. When they got to the bottom they hit a drop off and rolled over. At that point they were able to get out of the truck and by some miracle their Nextel's worked to get direct connect to an emergency number. That explained to us how the emergency crews got there so soon. And the helicopter that had been circling us for awhile.

After we got the story dad and I walked down the hill to check out the truck. It was about a 150 yard drop from the roadway. It was STEEP. We got a little over 2/3 the way down the hill and decided that was close enough and took some pics and made our way to the top of the hill. Oh did I forget to mention that the occupants of the truck walked away without a scratch? They were wearing their seat belts. Something that you never see while hunting these old logging roads.

So here is the story that my dad and I came up with as to how they ended up down there. They saw the deer. The driver went to put his foot on the break. In his excited state of seeing a buck he missed the break and hit the throttle instead. This in turn launched him over the edge into the tree pictured. When they hit the tree it made the ass end slide away from them. Then they rolled down the hill until they hit the bottom where they rolled only one time. The driver said that the only thing he remembered was seeing a deer and then rolling down the hill backwards.

That was the extent of my hunting trip. No deer so we will be going back up there again in two weeks with the hope that we will have a storm come in to move the deer around more. Being later in the season there will be less people hunting as well.

There are a few updates to make about our sons schooling but that will come tomorrow night. It's now time for some desert and bed.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

One more.....

...quick post. This weekend I'll be going deer hunting with my dad and both my boys. This will be youngest's first hunting trip. It's going to be a very special weekend. The only down side is that oldest busted his wrist at school today so he's in a cast for a few weeks. He's really upset about it too because the Dr. told him no shooting. My dad and I were going to bring our .22's along for the kids to plink around with. So he's pretty bummed about it. But he is happy to be going out in my dads fifth wheel. When I return next week I should have some good pictures to post up.

Now I do have a question for women out there (men to if you want to pitch in with your experience as well). It is said that a male reaches his sexual peak at about 17-18 years of age. When does a female reach her peak? And how do you know when she has reached it? I have noticed that the last few times Summer and I have been together she has just been phenomenal. She has left me completely breathless. Really. There is just such a huge change in making love to her the past few weeks compared to the last few years. I'm just curious if it is due to her reaching her "peak" or is it because of the decrease in the amount of sex we have.
Or could it be because her feelings for me have truly started to change for the better again. Just things for me to ponder.

If you haven't done so you might want to drop by and see this topic that is going on over at FTN's place. It's mind boggling to me to see that he has over 115 comments. The topic reminded me of a discussion he and I were having over at Unsolicited Advice a few months ago. It reminded me that I never have posted my thoughts on religion like I said I would. So it is here now as a reminder to me that I need to do it in the near future.

Until next week when I see you again. Have a good weekend!

Oh one last thing- Wish us luck tomorrow. SR and I will be going to a new school in the morning to see if that is where we want our son to go. So fare from what we have seen on the web and from what Melissa has said from what she has seen it will be the perfect school for our son. Here's to hoping for transportation!

HNT! (late)


It's a lttle late but technically it's still Thursday on the west coast. :D So here is my HNT contribution for this week. It's been awhile since I've done this.Sorry for that. The reason for this is that a few weeks ago I did the unthinkable. I trimmed my goatee. Down to about nothing. This is what it is currently like. Summer asked me to cut it off because it was getting to be a little to "rough" for her liking. And being the loving husband I am I did as she asked me to. But pomly because she asked nicely, and said that if i didn't want to it was fine.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Quickie

This is just going to be a quickie post. I have been ordered to do 50 push ups in bed with SR by Captain Winky.

So we had the IEP meeting for youngest son today. Things just aren't adding up. The Autism center hasn't tried to contact the school for any information at all pertaining to any tests that the school has done. The school has contacted them several times but they wont return the calls. Even though we signed a release paper allowing them to discuss the issue with the proper school officials. Our caseworker from Kaiser is very displeased with the center as well. She feels that they have not done enough testing of our son yet. They never went over half the tests that have been done and just told us to stop administering the Abilify. She believes that there is something else besides just ADHD. Especially since the medicine prescribed to him for when he was thought to have Autism helped him out so much. The problems at the school started back up when we stopped that medicine and went to ADHD meds. So now he's back on Abilify and he's getting better again. He is being allowed back into the school for this week but only for half days. On Fri. we have an appointment at another school that is about 25 miles from home. It is a "non public" school. It is set up to be in a stricter environment than the school he is currently in. They have staff on board that are trained specifically for his type of problems. So if we like the school he will begin attending there next Mon. morning. As long as the school he's currently at can find the transportation. So now it's just another waiting game to see if we like this school or not.

The thing that I don't understand about this school is that it is not a public school. So does that mean it is a private school? They didn't make it sound that way when we were in the meeting today.

The biggest thing to come out of the meeting today was that the school has finally realized what we have been trying to tell them for the past 2 years. He has some really big issues here. The thing for us now is to get Kaiser off there asses long enough to give us some straight answers instead of the dam run around that they have been giving us since the beginning of 2006.

Sergant Stiffy Out.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

If I were in porn.....

Your Porn Star Name Is...

Sergeant Stiffy

Saturday, September 16, 2006

A new song

As you can see I changed the song again for my video. I usually don't bring attention to this. But this time I felt it was necessary. The song is called Animal I have become. It's sung by a Canadian band called Three Days Grace. I also don't normally put videos up for the type of music that I truly enjoy because well it's just not for everyone. This is what I listen to 95% of the time. I do mix in a little bit of country to please Summer, and some Eminem just to keep things interesting. Anyways I decided to put this song up here because I feel that it describes a lot of the inner turmoil that I have going on. So listen to the words and not the "evil" music. Sometimes even the evilest of songs can have meaning if you just pay attention to the lyrics.

I can't escape this hell
So many times I've tried
But I'm still caged inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can't control myself

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal
(This animal, this animal)

I can't escape myself
(I can't escape myself)
So many times I've lied
(So many times I've lied)
But there's still rage inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can't control myself

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal

Somebody help me through this nightmare
I can't control myself
Somebody wake me from this nightmare
I can't escape this animal

(This animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal)

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal
(This animal I have become)



Well folks it's time for this post to end. I need to see if SR still wants me to dye her hair tonight before bed. Then I need some sleep. My dad and I are going fishing together for the first time in over a year. We're also going to be marking GPS locations for some duck hunting spots on the Delta. Mainly marking the channel so we don't run aground in the fog. There's some huge sandbars out here that if you hit them at the wrong tide you'll be screwed for quite some time. My dad got stuck on one back in the 70's about 1/2 mile from my house. Was stuck there over night. Not a good situation. Especially since my mom was with him. Good night!

For O

this post is dedicated to none other than my favorite blonde. I seem to be giving her an awful lot of attention lately haven't I. Get your minds out of the gutters people. There's nothing going on with us. Just some friendly jibes to a person that can't boil water. :D

Any ways it has been brought to my attention recently that the poor girl believes that Taco Bell is REAL Mexican food. Being a person that is married to a half Mexican I can assure you that Toxic Hell IS NOT authentic food. It's more like garbage. That was one of the best things about my m-i-l. She could cook some of the best homemade refried beans I have ever tasted. Oh and her hand made tortillas were to die for. Combine that with her shredded pork and rice and it was a meal and a half.

But unfortunately since her passing we haven't really had the opportunity to eat food of that caliber. But tonight we changed that. Summer got her first check from her new employer. We paid all the bills, bought all our food and have a little bit of money left to get us through to next payday. To celebrate we decided to go out to dinner on a spur of the moment thing. We went to a Mexican restaurant near home. And here is how this post if for O. While at dinner I decided to take a picture of a REAL burrito and REAL refried beans on the side. Topped with cheese. The only way to eat beans. So this is for you girl.



Please excuse the poor quality of the pictures. I have a very out of date camera phone. It will be replaced soon though.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

A little better now

***2 NEW POSTS BELOW***

Well I seem to be doing a little better now than I was earlier. You know I think that this medication thing is now becoming apparent to me in a huge way. I found that as I drove to my parents house I was no longer pissed anymore. I wasn't really pissed anymore after I was about halfway through the first post I wrote today. The anger just kind of went away. I'm still upset about it but not like I was initially. Something to ponder.

So I went to my parents and talked to my mom about the situation. She is going to watch youngest on Mon. while Summer is at work. Then she will be attending the IEP meeting with us. This way she will be able to ask the questions that she wants to have answered, be able to see what we are dealing with to better understand, and to help us out for support. The thing is that when I told SR about my mom attending the meeting she got upset at me about asking my mom to come. We'll have to see what that's all about later though.

I talked to youngest's therapist today as well. We have an appointment with a new psychiatrist tomorrow afternoon. His old one is out and may not return. The therapist also wants to get us in the office as soon as possible to see him. Thing is he don't have any openings till Oct. 30. But her wants us there within the next 2 weeks so he has us on the top of his list in case of a cancellation.

Other than that I think that I have said everything there is to say in the previous posts. The school is going to contact the county. He's not allowed to go back to that school. Everyone that we have talked to including Melissa has said that it is the schools job to find a new school asap for him. And it is their responsibility to bus him to and from that school when it is found. Best case scenario he will go to a special school that has experience in dealing with children with his problems. And hopefully along the way Summer and I can find someone that will be able to help us out as well. We're completely lost when it comes to handling our son. We both feel that we have failed as parents. That's the worst part.

HHmmmmmm....

Very intersting. This was so interesting to me that I had to post it here. Whether anyone else finds it interesting or not we'll just have to wait and see.

I just got done looking at my site meter and found a very.....almost disturbing thing. There have been 5 visits today alone from a person that lives 19 miles from me. Even stranger I lived in this town from 1990-1998. My parents lived there untill last Feb. So I'm curious if this person is someone I went to high school with. Or my sister went to school with. So if your from a town close to the delta drop me an email. let me know if any pics look familiar.

Furious!

That doesn't even begin to explain how I am feeling right now. I'm so fucking pissed off. And don't go telling how it's better to be pissed off than pissed on. I'm so pissed at myself, youngest son, the school, the doctors. Everyone. There is'nt anyone safe from me right now. I'm so enraged at the moment I'm going to my parents house soon just to try and calm down.

Why am I like this? I'll tell you why. Yesterday Summer calls me up and says that she had to pick youngest up from school early. She's very upset so I had to come home from work myself at 11 in the morning. She says that he is being kicked out of school for a few days. After I get here and she has composed herself she goes to the school to talk to his resource teacher. She is also a friend of hers at church. I'll call her.....Melissa cause I love that name. So SR talks to Mellisa and she is saying that the Ocuupational Therapist (OT) was antagonizing him into what happened. Oh yeah forgot why he got sent home. He kicked his OT. She was having issues with himm and instead of sending him to Melissa like she was supposed to she was doing what she wasnt supposed to do. So SR got and Melissa got him back in school for today. While sR was down there Melissa went over some test results that he was given last year. She says that he is showing severe signs of ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder). She said that we will talk mmore about it on Mon. IEP meeting.

Today SR gets a call from the school again saying that she needs to pick him up now. She goes there to find that he did the same thing again. kicked his teacher. So their decision now is to kick him out of the school perminantly! They said that we need to find him a new school to attend. They are also going to be contacting the county to see if there is anything they can do. Whatever that means.

So now we have an appointment with a new psycologist tomorrow afternoon. His original one is out on medical leave and may not return. Then we have an IEP meeting to go to on Mon. with the school that kicked him out.

My mom just called. She's home now so I'm leaving. Will post more tonight. Maybe. But that is why I'm so pissed at the moment.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

stolen

Well here I am. Still sick and in bed. I'm so tired of being in bed. My entire body aches because I haven't done anything except lie down the entire weekend. So because thee is nothing better for me to do i borrowed this from O. Don't worry O. I'll give it back when I feel like it. :D



1. What's your opinion on sex without emotional commitment?

Very much possible. I've done it myself several times. Not that I'm proud of it but it is possible.

2. Do you bite your toenails?

That's just gross.

3. Are you a jealous person?

I really try not to be. But sometimes it just gets the better of me. I'm human what do you expect?

4. Does it get annoying if somebody says they'll call you but doesn't?

Yes! It irritates the hell out of me. It's rude.

5. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

Ben & Jerry's Caramel Sutra

6. What would you rather be doing right now?

Being out of bed feeling better.

7. What song lyrics are stuck in your head at the moment, if any?

Lips of an angel by Hinder Also Animal I nhave become by Three days grace

8. What's your favorite TV show, now or in the past?

Presently the smpsons or family guy. Past Everwood

9. Do you get along better with the same or opposite sex?

I get along with everyone

10. Can others make you cry easily?

Nope. I can't cry
.

11. Who was the last person to piss you off?

My wife! For screwing around with the pool boy. I knew we should'nt have gotten the pool.

12. Are you picky about spelling and grammar?

It only bothers me when I don't understand what's being said due to spelling and/or grammar mistakes. I'm aggreeing with O on this one.

13. Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages?

No. It's just a waste of time.

14. If you could be any type of fruit, what would you be?

A strawberry

15. Were you a "planned" child?

I believe I was planned as my mm stopped he pill before she got preg with me.

16. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

About 5 that I wear cositantly. I have some Army boots that I haven't thrown away yet though.

17. What was the last thing to scare you?

The process of buying our house.

18. How many hours of sleep do you need to function?

Roughly 5. That's what I get during the week. On weekends I get around 8-9.

19. What is your favorite alcoholic drink?

I think you all know the answer to this one. An appletini.

20. When was the last time you saw a rainbow?

Don't remember.

21. Have you ever been attracted to someone physically unattractive?

I was once attracted to myself. Does that count?

22. What personality trait is a must-have in the opposite sex?

Open to communication and new experiences.

23. Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos?

No. But thats because I'm married.

24. Do you believe that a guy should pay on the first date?

No. Women want equality of the sexes so they should pay for dates as well. Seriously though yes.

25. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos?

Yes. I want both. If your nice I may tell you what I want too.

26. Which do you make? Wishes or plans?

I make a lot of plans, but I'm such a procrastinator that they become wishes!

27. Can you speak any languages other than English?

Nope.

28. What is your favorite salad dressing?

1000 Island

29. Have you ever fooled around with someone and not remembered?

If I remembered there wouldn't really be a question here now would there.

30. When was the last time someone hit on you?

At the state fair when youngest was a year old. I was in the water park and some girls came up to me hitting on me with SR right there.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Be warned!

Just a little warning for you out there. When O makes a post like THIS stay away! She has super human powers that are able to send cold viruses 3000 miles through internet connections. Now I'm down with a cold myself. :-( And on a weekend to. That's even worse. I'm stuck here in bed with nothing to do. The good thing is I can't believe how good the boys are being today. They let me sleep till 11:00 this morning and did everything SR told them to do before she went to work. I went and laid on the couch for awhile watching some TV and youngest came and laid down on top of me. A few minutes later he was out cold. Wish I could have taken a pic of it.

So now here I am. Back in bed. Waiting for something interesting to happen. Not likely. So if anyone else out there is as bored as me on this fine Sat. afternoon drop me an IM. Don't believe the status symbol to the side. I am online it just isn't working properly for some reason. I'm on Yahoo Messenger. My screen name is in my profile.








O you do realize this was all in good fun. Right? You didn't cause me to get sick.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Life has just been really hectic lately. There hasn't really been time for me to do squat. Or think of anything to write about. I'm just in a lull I guess. The good news is that the thoughts that are usually racing through my head are gone for the moment. But along with that it's taking away the entire thought process that I go through for posting. So that's the bad news. But I suppose you need to take the good with the bad. Right?

It's been a total drag getting used to Summer's new schedule. Especially Wed. - Fri. nights. She leaves the house right after I get home from work and don't get home till almost 11 at night. So we haven't had time to see each other much. By the time she gets home we are both beat and just want to get in bed and crash. Which is exactly what we do. No talking. No cuddling. No nukie. The last 2 are ok to be going without now. But I do want to talk to her a lot. Today is Thu. and I haven't talked to her since Tue. I won't be able to talk to her tomorrow either. So the next time we are able to talk will be on Sat evening. She is covering a shift for someone at work on Sat. so she's working on her day off. That will be 4 days without talking to her. Like some of the people that I IM with know there are some things that I want to talk to her about too. They can't be done over the phone either. Well I guess they can but I just want to talk to her in person.

She is also upset with her new job already and is thinking about changing her choice in careers already. Which is not making things easier. I really want her to stick with massage therapy. She is real good at what she does and she really loves doing it. She just hasn't found the proper employer as of yet. If she will just give it some time she will find the right place to work. One that will pay her what she is worth and won't find ways of cheating the states wage laws.

That really is all there is to update on. SR did go dove hunting with me on Sat evening. We took the boys with us and we had a real good time. It was youngest son's first time hunting. In 2 weeks he will go on his first deer hunting trip. I will take both of my boys out for the whole weekend for some guy time. We're really looking forward to it. I won't be going on any extended hunting trips this year like I have done in years past. This will be the first year in 5 years that I am missing opening weekend at Tule Lake for the early opener of duck season. None of the family members that I hunt with have the funds for the 600 mile drive. But I will be going for the opener of the balance of state season towards the end of Oct.

I guess I can update you all on how the antidepressants meds are doing. I'm not going into the huge down cycles that I have been going through for years. I'm not losing my temper as much as I used too either. I still get mad and blow my lid a little but not near as much as I did at one time. I'm not making stupid threats, saying demeaning things to SR, I'm not having the anxiety attacks any more either. That's a big plus for me. The Dr. also thought that it would make me gain weight. But I'm actually finding the opposite to be true. I am eating smaller portions during dinner now and stopping at one helping instead of 2 or 3. I don't feel like I have lost weight. We don't own a scale so I can't check my weight either. But I bought a new belt about 2 months ago. Recently I had to drill another hole in it to keep my pants from falling down. My jeans fall off of me if I stand up without a belt on. So that is another good thing. Like I said though I can't seem to see it. SR on the other hand has started to say that she has noticed a difference in me. That is a huge thing for me. She is telling me how good looking I am now, calling me her sexy man. That is a big ego boost.

Now for the bad portions of the meds. I'm having some really weird dreams lately. Dreams that wake me up out of a dead sleep. They seem so real to me. But when I wake up I realize it was a dream, go back to sleep and forget what it was that woke me up in the morning. Summer has also said that she has noticed me "fighting" with someone in my sleep. She says that I will suddenly start yelling at someone while I'm sleeping and just scream obscenities at them. I have no idea what is going on or why I'm yelling. But I do wake up feeling weird. I can't remember the dreams. All I remember is that I feel like I'm screaming at someone that has hurt me or is threatening my family. I yell at them but for some reason the words don't come out of my mouth. Instead they are caught in my throat and I'm a stuttering fool almost choking on my words. These dreams are coming more frequently to me now. As a side effect of the dreams and meds I am feeling very tired lately too. I can't seem to wake up at all. Take Sat for instance. SR got home around 11 and we went straight to bed. We didn't wake up till 8. Fell back asleep and woke up around 8:30. She gets out of bed and into the shower I go back to sleep and don't wake up till 10:00. And the entire day I felt like all I wanted to do was go back to bed and sleep more. It's been like that all week.

The worst side effects are the sexual side effects. I'm pretty much finding it almost impossible to reach completion anymore. No matter how long we go, different positions, no foreplay, lot's of foreplay. It just don't do it. At first SR really liked the side effect of the going and going. But now even she is not liking it. I've completed once out of the last 3-4 times. The worst part of that is that those times have that we were together have been space over a 2-3 week period. I'm even having a hard time getting hard enough to perform now. I've watched Summer shower and get dressed for work quite a bit the past 2 weeks. It's the only time we can see each other before she goes to work. She'll get out of the shower and sit on the bed putting on her lotion and I'm getting nothing from down stairs. Not even a nudge. In the past all she would have to do was sit on the bed and start to put on the lotion and I was having a hard time keeping my hands off of her. Not anymore. I just don't have the feeling for it anymore now. And that my friends bothers me a lot. I love my wife more than anything. I love to make love to her. Pleasure her. But at the moment I'm just not having those feelings.

I want her to know that it has NOTHING to do with her. It's just a "phase" I'm going through at the moment. At least I hope so. We both knew going into this that these side effects were going to be part of the medication. We just never thought it would be like this. Especially knowing the way I/we used to be. That is the main thing that I want to talk to her about but we just can't seem to connect. We're just strangers passing the night at the present moment. All I can say is that I can't wait till she gets off work on Sat so we can finally have a talk with each other.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

For my favorite blonde. ;-)

This post is dedicated to my favorite blonde. None other than O272 (more truthfully she's the only blonde I know but that's our little secret). She asked me last weekend to post up a menu for her so she can see if I'm worth the plane ticket to be her personal chef for a few days. If you haven't read already she's not the best cook out there. Can't even boil water for pasta. So I'll go ahead and post a menu of breakfast for 2 days and dinner for about 3 nights. Lunches are nothing special. Most likely going to be leftovers from the previous nights dinner.
Now I do know that she is the only person I know that doesn't own a BBQ. How un-American is that? Especially this weekend. ::hanging head in shame:: So that means that I will need to purchase a grill when I get to whatever place they live that don't believe in BBQ's.

First meal will be dinner as I'm arriving in the afternoon. I'm going to be tired so this will be a simple meal. No grilling tonight. I'm going to cook her some of my spaghetti. With sauce, meatballs, and Italian basil sausage crumpled up in the sauce. The sauce will be heavy on mushrooms and garlic. We will have a tossed salad on the side and garlic bread.

First breakfast will be beer batter pancakes. Basically it is the same recipe as you would normally use for pancakes but you use beer instead of milk. As much as it pains me to say this the best beer to use is Coors. ::YUCK!:: I will also be serving fried eggs and sausage. If I like her kids enough I might even have some blackberries and strawberries to put on the pancakes along with homemade syrup.

The second dinner will be on the grill. I will cook 2 tri-tip roasts. She has a big clan to feed so I will need a lot of meat. The meat will be seasoned with Montreal steak seasoning. Then on the grill I will also cook up some fresh vegetables and red potatoes diced up and seasoned. Earlier in the day I will have made some fresh biscuits for dinner as well. There will be salad on the side.

Second breakfast will be omelets. Those will be filled with mushrooms, bell peppers, green onions, ham, bacon, and cheddar cheese. On the side there will be English muffins, and hash browns.

Third dinner will be shish ka bobs. Made with top sirloin, red onions, bell peppers, and mushrooms. On the side there will be mashed red potatoes, salad, and dinner rolls.

Since she liked my cooking so much she asked me to stay and cook for her one more day. Of course I obliged because I'm such a nice person. So for the last breakfast I'm making scrambled eggs, with diced red potatoes, linguisa,bacon, and cheddar cheese. Hash browns, and Toast.

Last meal will be my favorite. I'll do 2 racks of pork spare ribs. Home made macaroni salad, rolls, salad, and Corn on the cob.

I know that you really wanted me to do something in a vegetarian meal for you O but I just can't bring myself to cook with out using meat. I'm a man. What did you expect? In case any of you are wondering this is how we eat 90% of the time. The other 10% is hamburgers and hot dogs with the occasional meal of fish sticks thrown in just for the kids.

So did I pass the test O? When can I be expecting those tickets in the mail?