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I'm really getting desperate here. After going to my parents and talking with them for a little bit while dropping off my guns, my dad jokingly said that maybe you should try writing to Dr. Phil. Well how desperate am I? Desperate enough to do just that. I wrote a letter to him. I didn't add all the details that my blog readers know, but I did get the important parts. At least most of them. I didn't want to write a novel to the guy. Anyways I'm not expecting an answer directly from Dr. Phil himself. But one of his many hired hands would be greatly appreciated. I was even desperate enough to click the box saying that I'd be willing to appear on the show.
Coming to a TV screen near you: CH and Summer Rose live on Dr. Phil!
My wife Summer Rose and I are the parents of 2 boys. CH Jr. 12 and C 6. We have always had problems with C in the anger department. About 18 months ago we took him to see a therapist with Kaiser (my insurance carrier through work). This was back in November I believe. Then in Jan. he recommended us to go see a child psychiatrist that worked in the office. Our first meeting with her was in March. At that appointment the Dr. said that she believed that he had autism. She set us up with the regional center, sent a referral to the Autism center in San Jose, and gave him a prescription of Abilify. 2.5mg
We continued to see her once a month until June. By that time she increased the dosage of his abilify. 5mg Then our case was transferred to the Roseville autism center as they were a new facility and had no caseload and it would be faster to get through. We got our appointment with them in June of 2006. At that time the tester tested Corey for about 1 hour. We were then told that the results would be ready in about an hour. We came back an hour later and were told that he did not have autism and that he had ADHD. She told us to stop taking the Abilify and give him stratera instead. Then sent us on our way saying they could not help us since he did not have autism.
A month after we had him on the stratera his temper and tantrums were worse than they ever were. We tried to get in to see his Dr. but she had retired unexpectedly on a medical retirement. So we had to go to a new Dr. We got in to see her in late July I believe. She felt that in her opinion that the original diagnosis of autism was correct and that he did not have ADHD. She told us to discontinue the stratera and go back to the abilify. Within a week we saw an improvement.
It wasn't to stay that way though. When he started kindergarten he was expelled the first week of school. He was be abusive to the staff and other students. Hitting them and spitting on them. So he was transferred to another school within the district that had a special day class. We also went back to the Dr. and she upped the dosage of abilify to 7.5mg. Things didn't change much. He was still out of control. Hitting but now he was hitting my wife and I. By the time Christmas came the Dr. had him on7.5mg abilify in the evening and 100mg wellbutrin in the morning,
This is now May and his medication is now 7.5mg abilify and 200mg wellbutrin (I'm a 33 year old male and take the same dosage). His tantrums are getting worse and worse. All the Dr. at Kaiser want to do is give him more medications. They don't want to try to find out why he is like this.
He almost got kicked out of the special day class 2 weeks ago. They were going to send him to a special school 25 miles away.
His tantrums get worse and worse. He will be playing fine and be a really sweet little kid. Then at the drop of a hat he will start hitting, kicking, spitting, and being really mean. For know reason at all. Just this weekend he was playing baseball with Jr. in the front yard. Summer and I were watching them. Suddenly for no reason at all he started hitting Jr. with a baseball bat. Last week he broke his bedroom door off the hinges. 2 months ago he punched a hole in the wall of his room and went into his brothers room. You can see his brothers room from his room.
The real kicker though is that today his teacher called and said that C told her that he wanted to buy a gun to shoot his mom and bury her.
We are at our wits end now. We don't know what to do. The school said that they are going to have to call the police and have a report filed. Then CPS will be contacted. This is all in order to see if the school can get him some mental health care. The special ed director said that worse case scenario he might be taken out of the house for a period of time and taken to a boys home so he can get round the clock help.
We don't know what to do. We love our son and don't want him taken away but at the same time we don't want to live like this forever. We want a happy family. There is more to the story but I wanted to give the basics as much as possible to keep from getting too long. If there is any advice we are open to anything right now.
Thank you,
Confused Husband
3 comments:
Just got caught up on what I missed the last few days, you both have my thoughts and prayers. I just sent you an email "off comment" and hope you are all well. Just breaks my heart to hear this is getting worse.
I wish I knew what to say. Does Dr Phil generally deal with problems this serious, from a medical standpoint? This even seems to be above and beyond what he does. But I could be wrong, I don't watch the show very often. I'm not trying to get you discouraged. Maybe you'll have some luck. That would be great. (Not that Dr Phil would necessarily wave his magic wand and fix everything.)
If I could ask, what do you do when he has these tantrums? I've seen you write about all of the different things your son does, but I haven't read exactly how you respond to him when they happen.
My older brother has worked with troubled kids of all ages -- even teenagers -- and he has told me for many years that when one of the kids gets out of control and has these kinds of huge, physical "tantrums"... My brother will generally hold him down. I mean, on the ground, spread eagle, on top of him, not letting the kid move, not at all. Not crushing or hurting the kid, but also not letting the kid move. For quite a long time. It's a very physical way to deal with the problem, but it doesn't hurt the child, and it teaches them that they are not in control.
If only autism and other problems were easier to diagnose and cure. I'm sure that if you do seriously consider putting your son in some other place for awhile, you'll check out the places really well. I imagine there is a wide variety of places, and some are good and some are... not so good.
Hi CH,
I don't reply often - mostly lurk. I e-mailed you once long ago too, when you were first confronted by someone about medicating your son.
My almost 9 year old with autism spectrum disorder has practically the same issues with temper. It's like a summer thunderstorm. He will be fine, sunny breezy then BAM, rage.
We were pushed to try risperdal and/or abilify when the school psychiatrist observed him and I put my foot down about that first. Risperdal (very similar to Abilify, but with more side effects) may be FDA approved for autism but it is a drug with lots of side effects. Abilify has not been studied sufficiently in this population.
We actually have my son on 50 mg of Zoloft and 36 mg of Staterra and it's working much better for him. Strattera by itself did nothing for him without the Zoloft.
You aren't going to find a med that is going to clear this 100%, you clearly need some help with the behavior management aspect, and I know how hard it is to get that. Have you tried any of the autism listservs? www.autismlink.com has a really nice message board system broken out by state. So does autism speaks for that matter. Not knowing where you live, I can't suggest anyone. But there is definatley elements of autism in these rage outbursts you are describing.
Also, take a look into Handle with Care. It is a restraint system that is what FTN describes. As your son ages and gets bigger and can overpower SR, you need to know how to contain this. It is also adversive enough that the first time I did it to my son was the last time he came after me. These kids are smart and not as helpless or impulsive as we sometimes think they are. I pinned my son with Handle with Care, safely... they use the same system in his school. He realized there was no more leeway with mom here and for everyone's safety, you need to acknowledge that things can happen and try to prepare for them.
AND... you are not bad parents. At all. With 1 in 150 children being diagnosed with autism, we need to be open about how hard this is so people will understand what is going on here and why the government needs to start addressing this issue with good science.
I'll keep you all in my prayers.
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