That's right friends. I'm in a bit of a dilemma. A conundrum if you will.
You see here's the problem. I used to use this blog as a place that I could go to so that I could vent my frustrations and what have you. But I'm finding it harder and harder to do that here. Take my last post for example. I just don't feel that this is the place that I can vent some of my true feelings anymore. I can vent issues with work, my parents, and society in general. But I feel that I can no longer talk about things that upset me and hurt my feelings when Summer is concerned.
She reads every single post that I write. Most them she reads as I'm writing them over my shoulder. So that's part of my dilemma. The other part of the dilemma is that I really don't want to get into a he said she said thing here. Maybe that's not the correct wording. Many of my readers read what she has to say along with reading me. I'm just starting to see the down side to having us both blog.
I guess my point here (if there really is a point) is that I love my wife with all my heart. But as in everything marriage has it's ups and downs. I like to be able to write about both here. It just seems like it's getting harder and harder to write the downs that we go through. Maybe it's because I spent so many years being nothing but negative. I've really tried to to be a better person for her and for the kids the last few years. I feel that if I do some venting here that I'm reverting to my old ways again. I don't want Summer to feel that I am doing that to her either. On the same token as that I know that it will do absolutely no good to keep it all inside.
Did I make any sense?
5 comments:
Makes perfect sense to me. And, as always :) I have a thought or two on the subject, my two cents worth, take it or leave it. Just know that we all love you and Summer, so we always want what's best for you both.
I faced this issue myself early on when my Lady discovered my blog and for awhile I considered stopping it, how could I keep writing when she was reading everything I wrote? It took some soul searching and thought before I discovered that it can actually be a positive. BUT. And here is the BUT part. And believe it or not, it isn't really a big BUT either. (Thank goodness.)
But first remember that real life is much more important than this here blog, we all know this. Having a private blog that summer doesn't read would actually be worse than one she does. Because eventually someone will find it, it'll happen no matter what you do. So my suggestion is to continue writing just the way you have been BUT only after the issue has been resolved in real life. Then you can talk about what was frustrating you, how you dealt with it, Summer's reaction and how it has been resolved, if it has.
All marriages have problems, issues and conflicts and yours is no different. The important thing is working them through together. And you've both made huge strides in that department since I've been reading. And I know you will continue to do so. Maybe it takes a little re-defining what exactly you want out of the blog? But I think an approach like that would be good for you both and would also serve to help others as well.
Again, something to consider. :)
Hi Sweetheart,
I'm really sorry for not getting anything done that I wanted to, C had a melt down over that lizard issue, in turn made me get dinner really late last night. As I said last night I'm going to get dinner done early and dishes out of the way.
As for your writing issues get them out let me know what you don't want me to read and I'll accept that. It's not that hard to do. I love you for who you have become and we both have come along way with our happiness.
I love you so much, and if it's a little negative oh well. You have issues that need to be heard so get it off your chest.
Just my thoughts on this.
Your loving wife
Irene
Your wife is very cool to say that.
And, after all, you have friends IRL to who you talk about your gripes and frustrations, right? Summer is smart enough to know that...and that you need to voice them so they don't build up. Hope you'll accept her wonderful gift and keep this outlet. I certainly enjoy reading you and I find it helps me.
And I agree with Art...if you're going to blog, don't try to hide it from Summer...that just says all the wrong things. Either she's as cool as she seems and accepts you need an outlet, or...
...let's not bother thinking about "or".
I think the flip side of this is that by sharing your feelings and thoughts so honestly on the blog SR can see what you are really thinking. No secrets, which is important.
Art Rest assured I'm not going to keep anything a secret from Summer. Nor am I thinking about starting a new blog. I guess I was just feeling guilty about expressing some things.
SR My lovely wife. I don't ever intend to write anything here that I don't want you to read. Thanks for being so understanding.
PM Long time no read!
"And, after all, you have friends IRL to who you talk about your gripes and frustrations, right?" You bring up an interesting point here. I'm actually getting ready to write a post about this very topic in response to a post from fTN. But the short answer is no.
I'll go ahead and not think about "or" either.
RS No secrets is VERY important. Especially in a marriage that is to stay together.
CH
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