Well not complete relaxation but a little bit. I had an appointment with my psychiatrist on Fri. morning to go over the effectiveness of the meds and their side effects. The appointment went fine for a little bit. I told how the meds were effecting me, and that I was finding it easier to not get so pissed off at things. I haven't had anymore anxiety attacks, and the negative thoughts have been staying away. I also told her about the one sexual side effect that I am having and has stuck with me. The rest have gone away. So she told me to take a "med holiday". Where I don't take my Celexa on Fri.., Sat. and on Sun. take it when I go to bed not at my normal time. She said do this for 2 weeks. If it does not help the sexual side effects I need to start taking Wellbutrin along with my Celexa. If that don't help I then to need to do the med holiday in conjunction with the Welbutrin. If that don't work I need to see her again in a month.
After we got that all out of the way I was ready to walk out the door until I remembered what SR wanted me to talk to her about. I was supposed to talk to her about drinking while taking the meds. She said that as long as I am drinking beer it won't hurt me. It will just make 2-3 beers feel more like 6-7. I can handle that. She said that the problem will occur when I start to drink hard alcohol with it. So that will mean that I have my appletini's on my holidays.
Then I told her that I only drink on Fri., Sat., and Sun. And that is only if SR is at home. If she is at work on a weekend then I won't even have one beer. This is when the appointment turned bad and I was really upset with her. Because of this not drinking alone and only on weekends she asks me why? I told her because if I'm alone with the kids and something happens and they get hurt I won't be able to drive them.
Why?
Because I had a drink and I'm not supposed to drive.
Why?
It's against the law.
But what will happen?
I have a class A drivers license. If you get pulled over with a class C license your B.A.C. is allowed to be .04 (I think). With my license it can only be a .02. If I lose my license then I lose my job as the Class A is a requirement.
Well I think you have a drinking problem. If you drink every weekend, and you won't drink while alone with your kids I believe that you have some guilt issues with drinking. I think you have a drinking problem.
WTF!!! I may have 9 beers in a whole weekend. Thats Fri. - Sun. Some weekends I don't drink at all. I haven't had a martini since Fathers Day weekend. They are made and in the freezer, but that don't mean I'm drinking them nightly. Now I know that I have said some things on here that make it sound like I drink heavily. But the truth is I don't. Ask SR. I used to when I was 19 and started dating her, but not anymore. There are more important things. Like my kids. No guilt issues. I just have a rule that I have set for myself and anyone else that will be watching my kids. If my parents were watching my kids and my mom had to leave, my dad would not be allowed to have a beer until my mom came back. If my sister were watching them same thing. If O272 were watching my kids and Mr. O weren't around she would not be allowed to have a beer unless Mr. O was around, and that would only be if he wasn't drinking. I hold all people entrusted with my kids to these rules. So I must hold myself to them as well.
Any ways it went into a little talk about how she thinks that I have a problem with drinking and she thinks I should stop and join a group. She can kiss my fat ass!
After the appointment I called SR and told her how the meeting went and she got pissed as well saying that I don't have a drinking problem and if she knew that would be the result she never would have had me ask in the first place. Personally I thing that all shrinks think if you have 1 drink a day that your an alky or something. Quacks!
So later when I got home SR asked me to stay home with her for the second time in the week. So I did. We went shopping for payday stuff and came home. When we got home we put the kids to bed and SR filled a fantasy of mine. She asked me to go swimming with her naked in the pool. OH HELL YES! I stripped down with a quickness and got the towels. Turned off the patio lights and we went skinny dipping. What a load of fun that was. It's a totally different feeling being so free in the water. It took a little while to get used to actually. But when I was used to it I couldn't imagine wear the restrictive suits I'm used to. Unfortunately we didn't get in any loving that night. And on Sat. her "Aunt" came to visit unexpected and early. So I wasted my first weekend of "med holiday". Didn't take my med at all and for nothing.
Sat. was filled with lot's and lot's of laundry and yard work. Didn't' even have a chance to cool off in the pool. But I decided that Sun. was going to be completely different. I woke up folded the last of the laundry and spent the rest of the day lounging around doing absolutely nothing. Got in the pool at around noon and didn't get out till around 3 or 4. Which was nice in a way and terrible in another. I fell asleep on my floating raft. Burned my back big time. Rolled over and fell asleep again and burned my stomach big time also.
The rest of the week has been uneventful. I worked 11 hours on Mon. Tue. and today. I'm working for OT on Sat. from 4:30AM till 3:00PM. SR's consultation was canceled from today. It is rescheduled for next Thu. but we cant find a babysitter so we now need to reschedule that one as well. Here we thought she was finally going to get her wish granted and it's getting put off more. Again.
Last thing for the night. We went and got SR a new cell phone today as it was due for replacement. While there at the Verizon store they transferred her phone book from the old phone to the new one. When we went to dinner I looked at the phone and saw something that really REALLY REALLY pissed me off. Just haven't said anything about it yet for fear of saying the wrong thing. Apparently The phone number of Mr. D. My most favorite person in the whole fucking world. I thought this ass hole was out of my life. But NO! The little fuck head is still in my wife's phone! What the FUCK is his number still doing there? Why is it still there? Has she called him?
I don't know the answers to any of this at the moment. Honestly I'm not sure if I want to even know.
7 comments:
About Mr. D's number in SR's phone, it could be a honest mistake. Give her the benefit of the doubt and only calmly mention it to her when you feel the timing is right. Don't stir things up otherwise. That is my suggestion to you dude.
Pfft! If I can't drink, I'm not babysitting! ;)
Firstly, what a bloody stupid thing for your shrink to say. Glad you and SR just dismissed it as bullshit.
Secondly, I don't know about SR, but I keep a heap of phone numbers on my phone of people who I NEVER EVER want to speak to again - purely so that if they do ring, their name will show up and I won't answer it accidently and have to talk to them.
Hey CH, been a long time. Sorry, my life has been chaos lately.
I have to agree with all of the above comments. I don't know what the psych. was thinking?!? A drinking problem, by definition, is when drinking causes a problem in other aspects of your life-work, home, relationships, etc. Not only is that NOT the case, but you are setting appropriate boundaries that most would consider ultra-responsible. If you had a problem you would be trying to justify it with something like "well, I could have just one/hour" or "I could have two if I eat something with it". No, I think you're completely in the right here and your doc either didn't understand or is jumping to conclusions.
Glad you got to go skinny-dipping. Honey & I did that a couple of years ago when we had an a/g pool for the kids...it was awesome! But I'm sorry the med-holiday was wasted. Maybe you'll get some next weekend.
As for the cell phone thing; I wouldn't jump to any conclusions. SR loves you and I'm sure there's a perfectly logical explanation for it. You should definitely ask her about it, once your calm and collected. Maybe she just never deleted it, maybe she keeps it for ID purposes like HASARDER said. Just let her know how much it bothers you and ask her to please delete it. And if he does call her ask her to please tell him that she doesn't want to talk to him anymore. If she knows how important this is to you she'll tell him and stop any contact. A similar thing happened with Honey and I a few years ago and we actually wound up going to counseling over it. This comment has already gotten too long so if you'd like to know about it send me an e-mail and I'll tell you the story.
I'm off to catch up on your other posts now.
Later,
Good luck dealing with the phone thing...remember to breathe and not jump to conclusions. I'm sure asking SR will straighten this out (and btw I have lots of numbers in my phone of people I haven't called in a long while...I actually use the cell phone as an address book instead of writing numbers down).
XO GND
No apologies for the shrink, but remember you don't have to take her advice (because that is all it ever is! important to remember.) and secondly they know that most people lie and underestimate their problems, so she is probably just reacting to her training. in one ear and out the other. you are being honest and sometimes that throws people. :)
I agree with all the above comments on the phone thing, probably nothing.
Drinking problems can have many manifestations. Your story though is about being careful and conservative. It may be to an extreme degree to some but it's reasonable to me. A plan of having ZERO alcohol in your system any time that you are going to drive- or may drive- is prudent. Also there are many situations with kids where the adult needs to be at 100%. I'm not adverse to driving with one drink in me but if I'm caring for my kids solo I've found it better to not drink at all because I tend to stay focused better.
Jay
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