Wednesday, April 27, 2005

The living hell! (Part V)

Ok let me try again. I tried to post this once and I lost it. The page was lost. 45 minutes of work lost and wasted. So now I need to remember everything I wrote and rewrite it. Or just give you the abbreviated version. We'll see. An awful lot happened in the week before and after our 11th anniversary. Things with her "friend" (from now on we will call him Mr. D), were getting worse. She was still calling him on a daily basis. To make matters worse I found out she was telling different friends and me different things. After the diary incident I was having a hard time eating and sleeping. I decided that I had enough of not telling anyone about the problems between us. I had a real dilemma though. I still did not want to tell anyone in my family about this and didn't really have any friends to talk to so I decided the next best thing would be to talk to my wife's friend. Friend A. My wife had known friend A for about 7 years. She told this friend everything that happened between us. So I called her up when I was at work one day. She was surprised that I called her. The truly disturbing thing was what she said as soon as she new it was me & I wanted to talk to about my wife. She said "If you want to talk about Mr. D there is nothing going on between them. They are just friends. That struck me as really odd. Why would she say that before she even new what I wanted? Especially after my wife said that he wanted to have an affair with her. Any ways to the Conversation. I told her that I would like to try and meet with her sometime to talk about the problems we are having and see if she might be able to help out. She said that we would see about meeting and then I lost signal an my phone. Verizon Wireless connecting you my ass. When I got home my wife asked me why I called her friend that day. Jesus do these women ever stop talking on the phone? It's non stop all freakin day. any ways I told her why are you asking, if you know I called you know what was said. Conversation was then dropped. After my wife went back to work that night I again called friend A. We talked for about half an hour. She told me that my wife did love me. Funny, she told me the night before that she didn't love me anymore. She told me that my wife didn't really know what she wanted anymore. She felt that she didn't know who she was. She also felt that she needed time away from me and the kids to find herself. Remember that part about wanting time away from the kids for future reference. The last thing she said that really struck me was that friend A had told my wife that if she really wanted to leave she would have done it already. She wouldn't be waiting for the"right" time to leave. If someone is that desperate to leave she would find a way to make it happen. Funny I told my wife the same thing. She then told me that she had to go because her husband came home but she would talk to me later. Later that night my wife informed me that her friends husband would not let her talk to me. (and my wife says I'm controlling?) I never heard from friend A again. It's been 6 weeks.
A few days later I got an e-mail that mysteriously showed up in my box. It was from my wife but was intended to go to friend B. She was telling friend B that I had read her diary. It also went on to say how she told me that Mr D had moved out of town but infact that he was living in town still. She said the reason she lied to me was to protect Mr. D from me. Little history here- I've never been in a fight in my life. When it comes to that I'm to afraid but I have been able to avoid them because of my size. She also said that she was not going to stay with me no matter what. It was over. She commented on how she thought it was funny that I loved her so much when she didn't feel it in return. The last part of the message was talking about the sale of her moms estate and that she was going to hide her share of the money so that I would never see a penny of it. To bad if we do get a divorce it will all come out in the findings of property and because she came into the money while we were married it is the property of both of us. I've done some research. Any ways after reading the email I had to run to the bath room and throw up. For the next 8 days I threw up 15 times. By the 7th day I was throwing up blood. Every time I ate something it only stayed down for about 20 minutes tops. For 2 days I didn't eat anything and that's odd for me. I'm about 275 pounds. Anyways when my wife got home I confronted her with the email and asked her why she was lieing to me all the time. She told me that she wasn't and that she was lieing to friend B. The rest of the week was uneventful.
Our anniversary was that weekend on the 12th. We didn't do anything special as neither one of us was in the mood. We did have a nice dinner. Top Sirloin steaks and shrimp. That I tossed back up 15 minutes later.
On Tue. the 15th that was the day that the shit really hit the fan. I was at work for about 15 minutes when my wife calls me up really pissed at me. Apparently Mr. D called her the night before and left a voicemail for her. The gist of the message was that on Mon. I went to the fire dept. in town where he is a volunteer, and made a formal complaint to the fire chief. I told her that I did nothing of the kind. She started accusing me of it. This went on for about 15 minutes. It was really beginning to feel like she was taking his side and didn't believe me at all. I even had one of the guys at work get on the phone and tell her what we did the day before. She would still not believe me. Finally my boss came up to me and told me to"go home until you can get your shit together, and come back when I can leave my home life at home." I hung up the phone and then I lost it. I started crying in front of the people that I work with. Until that day they had no idea there was a problem between my wife and I (or so I thought until the past 2 days). They would not let me go home until I had calmed down. When I was finally calm they told me to call the fire chief and get the matter cleared. I called and left a message for him to call me.
I went home after the call to the chief just in time to get in the car with my wife and take my son to preschool. The trip to school was in silence. After my wife got back in the car from the school I staggered asking her why she didn't believe me. She said because Mr. D told her it was true. I then asked her what the message had said. She gave me her phone and told me to listen to it. Mr. D called and this is what he said-"Hi_____ apparently your husband read your diary and found some things in there that he didn't like. Well yesterday he came down to the fires tation very irrational and upset. He spoke to the chief and made a formal complaint. In our opinion it is best that we stop contact with each other. We need to stop calling each other and the trips to the house need to stop. In our experience when a husband is that irrational he will do anything, and we are afraid he might come down here and shoot me. So the contact needs to end." That was it. I couldn't believe it. That bastard had the balls to accuse me of making complaints and being irrational. Then he grew the biggest pair of balls possible when he said I would shoot him. I told my wife once again that I did not talk to the chief and that I had called him before I came home to set up an apointment with him. She finally said she believed me. When we got home she called friend A to tell her what had happened and to get advice from her husband who was a volunteer at the same dept. He told me to clear my name and then go after the person who made the accusations for Slander. After that conversation the chief called me back and asked me to meet him in 5 minutes. My wife and I went to the station. My wife didn't want to go but I told her that it was very important to me for her to hear that I did not make a complaint. The first thing I asked the chief when we got there was had he ever in his life seen me before. He naturally said no and asked why. I explained to him about what the message said and he asked if he could listen to it. My wife gave him the phone and he listened to it. When he was done he said that he had no idea what the message was talking about. No one had made a complaint to him about anything. He thanked us for contacting him and said he would talk to
Mr. D that evening and he would also talk to the police chief about the matter, and that he would call me when he found out any info.
When we got home my wife apologized to me for not believing me and went to town to run some errands she was supposed to do in the morning. When she came home she was upset with me again saying that Mr. D called her again saying that I had someone I work with make the complaint for me. LIE!!! We just heard the chief say that he never received a complaint from anyone. She still didn't want to believe me until I called the guys from work and asked them. Now this fucker was getting me in real deep shit at work. He got me sent home and now bringing my coworkers into the situation that I wanted to keep private at the time. I wanted to take him down and hurt him. I wanted to sue him for everything he had. Around 6PM that night the chief called me and told me that he had his meeting with Mr. D and that Mr. D admitted to making the whole thing up. He said that it was being dealt with departmental and that he could not tell me Mr. D's punishment. I was not at home at the time so I called my wife who was at home and told her about the call. She told me that she already knew because Mr. D called her and told her. I told her that I planned on suing for slander and defamation of character. She told me no she would not let me. That got me real pissed. I started to raise my voice and told to make her decision then. It was either him or me. To make things worse I had just picked up my birthday present at the store after my waiting period. A brand new gun. Ironic huh?
When I got home my wife and I talked a little and I told her if she didn't want me to sue then he would have to come to the house so I could meet him. She agreed and called him. He didn't answer. We went to bed then.
A few days past and we didn't hear from Mr.. D. So I finally sent him a text message that said if you don't come meet me soon I'll sue your ass no matter what my wife says. He called my wife 5 minutes later. The next night he came over after my wife got home from work. We talked for about 2 hours. The thing that really pissed me off was that if he hadn't done what he had done I probably would have liked him. He was a nice guy. We talked for quite a while. I basically told him my side of the story about our problems. I learned that he had the same problems with his ex before she met someone else and left him. He had anger issues too and was trying to help my wife learn how to communicate with me and explain her feelings. Apparently they both told me that he had no intentions of pursuing a relationship with my wife. I actually believed him. (not fully until last week April 21 though.) He told me that he did what he did because he truly wanted to cease communications with my wife. So as he left the 3 of us agreed that they would cease all contact except when they ran into each other at work.
That was when I decided that I needed to get away from my wife. I was contemplating having her go to her dads house in Utah since my conversation with friend A but now I had to do it. After the week of throwing up and the meeting with Mr. D we needed to be apart. So I booked her a flight.

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