Friday, April 22, 2005

The text messages (beginning part III)

So it was a week after she told me she wanted to leave me. It is opening day of duck season. I was out hunting with my dad when I drop my cell phone in the water. It is toast. I can't afford to get it replaced so I have to take my wifes old phone and have it reprogrammed with my number (I just bought my wife a new phone a wek before she told me she wanted to leave me. Thanks hun, that was $150 wasted on my behalf.). So any way I'm at work that week with her old phone that is now mine, and I'm programming my phone numbers in there when I wanted to send my wife a text message. Even though she wanted to leave me I still loved her with all my heart (and I still do, more on that when I can get caught up to the present). So I wanted to send her a text saying that I love her and we can still work things out. After I sent the text I was going through the messages on the phone forgetting that it used to be her phone. I found a message that said 'Hi handsome.', another one that said 'Hi handsome, I'll see you tonight sunshine', 'I'm thinking of you'. So I found out the number that the texts were sent to but there was no name. When I got home I looked at the text messages on her new phone and found more messages to the same guy saying 'Hi handsome, I miss you. Sunshine'. But this time there was a name to the number. So I asked her who this guy was and why she was sending him messages. Especially messages that said hi handsome, & I'll see you tonight, & I miss you. She never talked to me that way, at least not in the past few years. She kept saying that it was just a friend and nothing more. Well if was "just a friend" then why was she calling him handsome and saying that she misses him? I was a total wreck after that. I started smoking again after that night. I had quit for a few years untill that night then I started again with a vengence. I was bound and determined not to lose my temper with her thought because I truly loved her and wanted to work things out. She would'nt tell me much more except that he was just a friend and that was it. She said that nothing physical was going on with them. I did have to believe her on that because I do know her well enough to know that she would not cheat on me.
The next couple of months went by with nothing really big going on. I still love her and wanted to be with her for the rest of my life. We would have some really late night discusions when she would come home from work. Sometimes we would be up till 2 or 3 in the morning. I found out that she was talking to people at work about what was going on with us even before I found out what was happening. She was talking to her friends about us quite a bit. I found this out because we live in a small town and she works at the only grocery store in town. My boss is married to her supervisor. Even though he won't get involved and doesn't wan to talk to me about it because of that fact. I do have alot of people that I work with that shop there though and I started to get little bits of information that she wants to "rethink her marriage" when she completes school in Jan. Unfortunately no one had any info on what was really going on. That started to really get me upset because to this day Apil 22 I have not talked about this to any of my freinds or family. I don't want to tell my family about this especially my parents because they own the house we live in. The other reason I'm not telling my family is because I #1 feel embarassed about how I F'ed up my marriage and #2 if we do get things worked out like I want to I don't want them to change the way they look at my wife. The other thing is that I really don't have alot of freinds that I can talk to. I have one good freind and we don't really talk that much except when he can get away from his wife and his business.

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