I don't know why.........

But I just can't seem to get mad at my wife anymore. When I was waiting for her to come home from work I was so pissed and had a lot of things I wanted to say to her. But when she walked through the door the anger went away. It wasn't her that I was mad at it was Mr. D. We talked for a little bit about why he called and ate a late dinner. We didn't really resolve anything but I did feel better. Why am I being such a pushover?! Yesterday we didn't really see much of each other. She went to work 5 minutes after I got home and came home just in time to put the kids to bed. We didn't talk at all last night.

There isn't really much else to talk about. I told her today that if she wants to continue living in the house she had to stop calling him period. One more phone call to him and she'll be leaving whether she wants to or not. I hate to do that to her and be a control freak to her. But I can't keep going on with the calls to him. Every time I think he will be left out of the equation he comes back in.

I want to go into marriage counseling but I'm not sure how to pick one. I want to go to a Dr. that specializes in marriage problems but my insurance won't cover that kind of psychiatrist. They only cover psychiatrist's that work with their hospital. So I'm thinking that maybe we should see someone from her church. But she won't see someone from her church and won't tell me why. I'm afraid if I do go to someone from her church that it will definitely be over. I guess in a way I have it coming after all that I have done to her in our marriage. What comes around goes around I guess.