The Bible

Just thought I'd leave you all with a little bit of religious teachings from the good book before I leave for the weekend. Play nice!

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"

And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some
sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs.

Just stopping in real quick like to let you all know that I'm fine. Summer and I are fine as well. I was just at a really bad point the other night. Things are doing alright though. I'm getting ready to go out shopping with the boys now so that we can go camping this weekend at the family reunion. So that is something that we have to look forward to. The boys can't wait5r to see their cousins and go fishing.

On a side note I'm surprised that Summer hasn't said anything yet so I guess I'll have to let it slip a little bit here and finish the details after she gets the time to post up her version. In the previous post I had said that I had the opportunity to make Summer happier than she has been in a long long time. I mean she like a school girl squealing and shrieking. She still is all excited too. I surprised her on Fri. and bought her a new SUV.

that's all for now. Costco waits for no one.

End

I want this to just go away. It needs to end. All of it. The crying, the sleepless nights, the worrying, the headaches, all of it. But it just never seems to go away. There is no end in sight. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. Just as things looked like they were starting to look up for us someone thought that we obviously didn't deserve the happiness that we had found over the past weekend. Instead we get crushed back down. It's just here and never ending. There is no upside anymore. I was able to do something to make Summer happier than she has been in years on Sat. The hapiness was lasting pretty good into the week too. Now it's all in the past. Gone. The only thing that has ended is our happiness. And our sanity. There's nothing I can do about it either. I want SO badly to just give up. Get away from this mes of a life. But that will solve nothing. Just make things worse. I haven't had a cigarette in almost 2 years. A month ago the smell of smoke would make me turn my nose. Now I'm seeking out people that smoke just to get the second hand smoke. A nice Marlboro sounds SSsooooooooo good right now. That and enough alchohol to send me into a comma. I know that these things will do absolutely nothing to help the situation. But they would help to relieve some of the stress. Being drunk would enable me to feel nothing. That would be very welome right now. To not feel anything.

I'm wondering if this was sent out to other bloggers that blog at work. Or was it just me?

Effective Immediately!!

We are asking that somewhere between starting and quitting time and without infringing too much on the time usually devoted to lunch period, coffee breaks, rest period, story telling, ticket selling, vacation planning, rehashing of last nights TV shows, bidding on auction items, and visiting sights like Blogger, and Wordpress, that each employee endeavor to find some time that can be set aside and known as the "WORK BREAK".

To some this may be a radical innovation, but we honestly believe the idea has great possibilities. It can conceivably be an aid to steady employment and it might also be a means of assuring regular pay checks.

While the idea of the Work Break Plan is not compulsory, it is hoped that each employee will find enough time to give the plan a fair trial.

Management

I don't know what it is I just haven't had much time to be blogging lately. It's not that I don't have anything to write about. It's just that with school being out my entire day is focused on the boys and keeping them occupied. There is quite a bit for me to say though. I do hope to get to doing that soon. Things have taken a turn for the better on a few fronts around the house hold. Youngest is still having his issues, but things are moving along quite well the past week or so.

Randomosity

All my friends call me Houdini.


Because I pull tricks.

Happy Father's Day!!!

Seeing as I have to work tomorrow night We had our Father's Day goings on tonight. Last night while out shopping I got my gift. A new BBQ! My oldest son and I were up till almost midnight last night putting it together. We had a good time doing it too.

This morning I was put to work cleaning the back yard so that it would be somewhat ready for the new grill. helped my son straighten the garage up a little, helped Summer fold laundry, and cleaned the pool. Lastly around 2:30 I put a pork roast on the rotisserie and cooked it real slow.

Let me just say that it was AMAZING! I love this new grill. Using the rotisserie is THE way to cook roasts. Next I want to try to cook a rack of ribs on there. My dad did that a few months ago the turned out real juicy.

Any ways this is enough boringness for you to have to read for the night. Hope you all have a wonderful Father's Day!

I know that I need to update on how things went on Fri. afternoons Dr. appointment. But I want to post about something good for a change. Something "happy". I want you all to know that things aren't all doom and gloom around here. We do in fact have some good times here as well. This weekend had a few of those good times packed into it.

On Fri. afternoon my dad made a unannounced visit to the house. Now usually this would send me into a deep well of differing emotions. I mean it was unannounced. The house was a mess. I had just had a very stressful day with Kaiser and dealing with the school. I just was not in the mood for visitors.

But it wasn't bad at all. We sat in the dining room and just talked for awhile. we talked a lot about the things that happened with youngest son the night before. He actually told me that Summer and I are doing a good job with the kids and are doing the best we can with what we have to deal with. It really made me feel good about myself. Especially coming from my dad. He's not really the type of person that talks a lot about stuff like this. So that actually made my night Fri. It has been so long since we had conversation that had meaning to it. Especially that didn't seem forced or anything like that. It was just natural like.

I actually look forward to more talks like this with my dad. Especially knowing my dad and how he is. Things like this don't come the easiest for him. For me either. I don't know how many times I have wanted to start a conversation with my dad but didn't do it. Just because I didn't know how to start the conversation or I was too scared.

First of all I got myself a new camcorder! I'm so stoked about it. Yes. I just said stoked. It is SOOOO cool. It records straight to DVD. The movies it takes come out so clear. It's amazing. It has a killer zoom too. 32X optical, 1000X digital. On Sat. I went to my parents house to help my dad put his new refrigerator inside (what a fiasco that was!) the house. While there I was showing them my new camcorder and showed them the movies I had taken with it. SO my dad starts talking about how nice the picture is and how cool it would be for him to have a camera like that for the trip he is leaving on this Fri. (he and his brother are driving to Alaska for a 6 week fishing trip). So then he tells my mom that he wants a camera exactly like that for his Fathers Day gift. That just made me feel even better about my camera. For once I have something that he wants! It's usually my dad having something that I then decide 'I have to have one of those too!'. Not his time. What moral booster.

Yes. I know I'm weird like that.

Then Sat. night when Summer got home from work her and I spent over an hour at VS looking for new clothes. She ended up using her entire GC that I gave her for her birthday that night. I can't wait for the clothes to get here.

Oh did I mention that we were in bed when we were looking there?

I didn't?

Ok. Well while we were looking at VS we were in bed. Wearing only what we came to this earth with. When we finished looking it led to some amazing adult activities. She was writhing around on the bad for quite some time just from my fingers. When I finally got inside of her it was like she couldn't have me deep enough. We both climaxed together and just collapsed. I couldn't move a muscle. Let me tell you something: I slept like a rock that night! Almost every time Summer saw me on Sun. she would thank me for Sat. and tell me how much she enjoyed herself.

Sun. was a pretty slow day. In fact I can't remember much about what happened on Sun. at all. Summer and the kids went to church. But the rest of the day is pretty much a blank. That is except for the last half hour before I went to work in the afternoon.

I went out to the garage to butcher my hair again. Went in the house and shaved and showered. You know usual before work routine stuff. Then when I got out of the shower Summer was in the room and the door was closed. The kids were in the pool swimming, and Summer kept saying how sexy I was and just sat on the edge of the bed. So I bent over to kiss her. That led to me undressing her. Of course that led to MORE great sex! Except for the fact that her phone kept ringing. Usually this is a bad sign. But not this time. She was as frustrated as me. She just answered and said that she would have to call them back and hung up. We never lost a beat. So that made for a very relaxing night at work last night.

So you see? There are still some good things that happen around here. It's not all doom and gloom. It just seems that the good times are too few and far between right now.

A sinking feeling

The last 24 hours have been VERY eventful to say the least. I took youngest to see his therapist again yesterday morning. He looked through all of our IEP paperwork (SR keeps every IEP form we get in a binder with page protectors) and he noticed something neither one of us ever did. Back in Sept. when we had an IEP for him the first week of school we had talked about sending him to a non public school. The Spe. Ed diecrtor for the district even called the school during the meeting. Yet there was no documentation saying that we even discussed the school. So now legally the conversation never took place. Great. There is more tom say about that but my mind is racing right now.

Last night while I was at work Youngest asked if he could go play with the neighbor girl (his best friend). So Summer said sure. Next thing she knows the police dept. calls up and says that they have him in there custody and he tried to break into the hardware store ion town! They are going to bring him home. She calls me and I get off work and come home. By the time I get here they have dropped him off and have left. SR's friend from church and a teacher at the school is here. We talk about everything that has happened with him lately and all the crap that we have gone through with the school.

Cut to today. I wake up early and call the Schools Superintendants office. Leave a message for them to call me back. Then I call the Spec e director and leave a message for her to call me back. Then call Kaiser and get transfered to the crisis center at Kaiser. They get all the info from me and say they are going to talk to the head of child psychiatry tyhere and get back to me within an hour. They PROMISE!

After all the phone calls I write an email to the spec ed person and CC it to the superintendant. asst. superintendant and the Protection and Advocasy Inc. (PAI) in Sacramento. which by the way Summer called them last night and they put us on the top of there list and are having an atorney call us on Mon. moprning. YAY!

Any ways that was 2 hours ago. Still no calls from the school dist. even though I gave them my cel and home number. I did receive an email from PAI saying that they received it and for us to call and they will set us up with someone. That was already done though.

So let's go back in time to Kaiser. They called me back in 20 minutes. Amazing! I wasn't expecting that. They said to have him in tyhe office at 1:30 this afternoon. They are also checking an a residential program for him and will have more info on that when we get there this afternoon. I never even mentioned that to the crisis person. They are finally seeing that as a necessity just like we are. I mean it's to the point where we can't even go to the bathroom when we are alone with him.

So Summer is getting off work early today and is going to meet us for the appointment. (My typing is zattrocious today!!)

Anyways now I'm just overwheled with so much right now. I mean we are finally going to get some real help. Hopefully. Kaiswer is seeing that we need to have him in a place where they can better evaluate him. That is making me so happy. But at the same time I'm scared. I'm sad. I feel empty inside. I want to scream. I just want to feel numb to the world. I just don't know what to do. Or how I should be feeling right now.

I know there is no set way to feel. I also know that this is a good thing for him and for the family as a whole. This is the right thing to do. But why does it have to be so hard? Why does it have to hurt so much? Why did it even have to get to this pooint in the first place? This is NOT WHAT WE WNATED AT ALL FOR OUR CHILDREN!!!!!!

I am just so full of conflicting emotions right now. But anger and pure rage is the most prevalent. I just don't know who I'm rtaging and angry with.

I have so much more I want to say but I just can not sort pout my feelings. It is also time ofor us to leave. Youngest and I are going to meet Summer for lunch before the appointment. this may be the last time for awhile. That saddens me the most.

Changes!

As you can see I have made a few changes here today. What else are you going to do when your at home in bed sick all day?

Some of the changes I really like. Like the new column. Some I'm not to fond of. Like the new template and the fact that the columns don't line up properly. I'm afraid to change the template though because if I change back I'll most likely not be able get the third column back again. The columns not lining up though that's a different story. It is driving me crazy!It's only been there for about ten minutes now and it's already eating at me.

So anyways what do you think of the new look? Should I keep it,or go back to the old one?

On a much more positive note Summer and I have booked a trip for a weekend getaway in July. My mom will watch the boys for the weekend and we will be going to Circus Circus in Reno. Not our favorite casino resort (Atlantis if you were wondering) but it is away from home and the kids so we don't really care. So now we have a room booked and a sitter. Now all we need is a plan of what we are going to do while we are away.

And then the creator looked upon his creation.
He saw his two creations that were meant to be together for companionship.
He saw them coupling.
It was then that He knew this to be true:
All is well.