Thursday, October 20, 2005

In response to a comment from the other day

Wow. I guess I hit a sweet spot or something on the post 'The most beautiful girl in the world'. I got quite a few comments. VH gave me a comment that said "we would love to hear about the great things you and your wife do...your blog doesn't have to be about the fighting. " I would love to post all of the great things we do. But there isn't much that we do that is a "great" thing. At this moment our lives revolve around our boys. We don't do anything really unless it involves our boys. When we do things with them like when we went to Tahoe I posted about it. If we ever get another weekend alone together I will post about that too. I try not to post that all we do is argue. Here is the main reasons that keep me from posting the good things we do. We don't do much together. Here is our typical day:
6:00 am alarm goes off wife gets out of bed and gets in shower (sometimes this happens at 6:20 depending on snooze button.)
6:36 am I get out of bed, get dressed, make my lunch and leave for work by 6:55. I give my wife a hug and kiss before I leave as she is getting dressed.
6:57am I arrive at work.
3:30 pm I get off work and come home.
3:32 pm I walk in the door. As soon as I get home my wife gets back in the shower to get ready for work.
4:20 pm Wife walks out the door for work.
5:00 pm I start cooking dinner.
~6:00 or 6:30 kids and I eat, and do dishes.
7:30 get shower and put kids in bed by 8:00.
8:oo to 9:30 I watch tv and do most of my blogging.
9:45 My wife comes home from work and by 10:00 we are in bed.
That is our life Mon. to Fri. If she is not at work she is doing a massage if we are lucky. (speaking of which it has been over a month since my last massage :-(. ) Sometimes she don't get home from work till 11:00 because she has a massage appointment at her friends house. They trade babysitting for massages sometimes. The reason that we have our schedules this way is so that one of us will be at home with our boys at all times. We don't want someone else to raise them for us. Nothing against people who work and leave their kids with sitters. My parents did that with my sister and I. It is just a choice that we made when we had kids. Even though that may be the cause of most of our financial problems. Although we believe we would be worse off if my wife was working full time and the kids were at a sitter. Most of her checks would then be paying for a sitter instead of household income.
On weekends we usually sleep in till around 9:00. Then we get up and do housework. That is for Sat. On Sun. we sleep till around 8:30 (More truthfully I wake up earlier on a weekend than during the week. I just lay there holding my wife for a few hours. That is my favorite thing about weekends. Those are the mornings when we usually get our "together" time.) Anyways back to Sun. mornings. I get out of bed and start to cook breakfast while my wife is in the shower. We eat then my wife and kids go to church while I stay home and do laundry and the dishes. When they get home around 12:30 we eat lunch if we are hungry after the big late breakfast. Then we sit around the house asking each other what we want to do the rest of the day, till it's to late to do anything then we eat dinner.
So that is how my average week goes. The thing that truly gets to me is that at this moment in life our lives revolve around our kids. I fear that if we keep this up when the kids move out later in life we will have nothing in common. As it is there are days that we really don't say much to each other besides good morning and good night the way our schedules are.
The other thing is that sometimes I feel that ALL we have in common and the only good thing in our lives is the sex. That hurts me in a way. I know Digger and DH might think I'm crazy but I would be willing to give up on the sex we have just to have a better relationship communication wise. I want so badly to have more than just a physical relationship with my wife.
Well this was supposed to be a short and sweet post, but it got to be longer than I planned. So I'm going to go to bed. Good night.


The Venting Housewife said...

Me and hubby are facing this too..he works midnights and I work days...but it we still manage to work around it. Maybe doing a date night on a night your both off is a good thing.
Don't do a movie though, because you can't talk during a movie. What about dinner and dancing.
Something to get back into it, just 1 night a month on payday. Me and hubby are starting that, now that I am at work.

bedroomdancer said...

Keep working at the communication thing. I'd agree, regular dates are important. I applaud your desire to work on your relationship!!