Just some ramblings

But first I think we are making some progress with the kids now. Since Sun. she is now actually taking a stand with our youngest son. We went shopping last night for our payday stuff. Our son started acting up as usual and this time instead of doing nothing my wife jumped in before I had a chance to. She told him to stop now. He didn't stop so she took over the role of the disciplining him and did it herself. We didn't have another incident with him the rest of the night. It was the best shopping night we've had in over 2 years. No tantrums. When I tell the kids no now she backs me up like I have backed her up in the past.

Now to the ramblings. I can't seem to shut my mind off anymore. Even when I try to go to sleep it still races with all kinds of things. It seems to keep me up at night with all the thinking about meeningless stuff. I keep thinking about all the stuff that I need to do around the house, worrying about wether we can afford a house payment, and all kinds of other stuff. Most of it comes in my head and leaves just as quick as it comes in. With thinking about all the stuff that needs to be done I can't seem to get motivated to do anything. My favorite time of year is approaching fast. Dusck Season. It's the only season that really matters. But this year I'm not excited about the upcoming season as I am in years past. My dad and I are going deer hunting for a week on the Oregan border in Oct. and at the moment I can care less if I go or not. We've been planning this trip for a year now, and I'm just not excited. And don't get me started about the garage. It needs to be cleaned so bad right now. We can't even walk in it except to the washer and dryer. Thats what I have planned at the moment for my 3 day weeknd.

I received a comment from an annonymous person today. I'n sure you could see it and my response if you looked. But it got me thinking. I know what he/she said is true. I know and admit that it is my fault for our problems. Even saying that I can not go back on my beliefs about divorce/seperation. To me that is not an option. (More on my reasonings in the rest of the ramblings.) I married her for the rest of my life. She married me for the rest of her life. It is a PROMISE that I don't take lightly. Yes we did get married young but that is NOT an excuse.

Another person has told me that I need to go to church with my wife. My answer is yes I agree with you. But I'm not going to go with her unless she invites me to go with her. She knows this but does not invite me. I'm not to sure about the whole church thing anyways. There is a person that attends the church that I do not want to see. He is having an affair with my coworkers son's wife. She is slepping with at least 3 people and the other guy is slepping with a LOT of women in the town we are in. He owns a little trailer and sets up in town and sells coffee out of it. While he does this he propositions married women. Oh did I mention that he was almost an Elder at the church untill the whole affair scandle came out a month ago? The divoce papers are on the judges desk. She has attempted suicide 2 times in the last 2 months. If her husband tries to do anything (go out with friends, tell her he won't help her move this weekend, not mow her lawn in her new house) she says she will request more child support money. Both of the kids want nothing to do with their mom. Now what does that tell you. Her shrink fusked the bitch and said she is completely stable and able to take care of her kids. Even though she attempted suicide. She's just a goldigger. But it's people like that who totaly turn me off of organized religion. HYPOCRITES!

Wow that was a total side tangent that has nothing to do with this Blog. But it does reenforce one of my fears about divorce and seperation. I will do whatever it takes for me to keep custody of my kids. Not for the money but if she wants to leave then she needs to realize that means leaving the kids as well. But we are not at that stage anymore now, and haven't been since June.

Now to my beliefs on divorce. I think that people now are willing to give up to easy. If something goes slightly wrong or if things aren't a story book they want to divorce. Everyone wants to take the easy way out instead of work at things that are hard. They want everything handed to them on a silver platter. I know marriage takes work and I am willing to work my ass off for it. My parents just celebrated 35 years last Mon. My dads parents were married for 71 years when my grandfather died. My mom's parents were married for about 40 years when my mom's dad died of Alzheimers. My grandma is still devoted to her husband that he he passed away 21 years ago and she still has not dated another man. And all 3 examples have gone through hard times but did NOT give up.

That brings me to my wifes background. Her mom divorced her dad when my wife was 3 months old. He had another wife in Mexico (acceptable divorce). Her second husband fathered my wife's brother and sister then left my wife's mom for another woman. There was a boyfriend but he did things that I will not post here even on an annonymous site. So her mom gave up on all men when my wife was about 12 years old. So she never saw her mom in a relationship. Her mom never had to communicate with anyone about her decisins. So my wife never had an example of how to communicate in a functioning relationship. Well I think I have rambled long enough. If there are spelling mistakes sorry. I'm not going to bother with spell check tonight. I'll check it tommorrow after work.