Thursday, October 26, 2006

The poll

As i have stated a few times on my blog and in comments to others I don't watch pornographic movies. I also don't masturbate.

well tonight while I was in a small chat romm with SR, myself and two fellow bloggers. Summer made the comment that I do watch porn. I countered with the fact that I haven't looked at a pornographic website or movie in over a year. She agreed and said that's true.

But then she asked me what was on the cable box under the on demand watched programs. well those were some of the shows that I have watched recently. They were on the HBO section under late night specials. I had watched the first few episodes of Pornucopia Going Down in the Valley. And also the best of Real Sex. NO! I waqs not watvhing all these episodes at once. Any ways we got into a "discussion" about whether or not that was equal to watching a porn movie or porn on the net. My standing was that this is NOT the same. There is a difference between the two.

The difference is that porn is something to watch when you need a release. Or are trying to get aroused for your partner. You watch it and rub one out. Unless of course your watching with your poartner then you can renact the scenes as they unfold.

The shows on HBO are more like reality TV. There are no money shots. A lot of the stuff is actually blurred out. Watching a seminar with a bunch of left over hippies learn about being at one with your partner is not porn.

What do you think? Go ahead and answer the poll to the right. And please for the love of all that is good, if you are going to put an answer on the poll post your oppinions why in the comments. Yes I am a comment whore.


hasarder said...

I couldn't respond to the poll, because I don't think anything is that clear-cut (and I haven't seen these shows).

But think about going to a strip club with your mates. You don't stand around with them and 'rub one out' (nice phrase!). Nevertheless many people would consider strip shows to be a type of porn.

And what about movies? Quite a few movies have turned me on, yet they're not porn. Is an erotic scene in a movie porn just because it turns me on? Or is a movie with pink bits not porn when it doesn't turn me on? (The bumping uglies scene in the Danish movie 'the Idiots' is a case in point - full view sex, but not erotic at all).

'Porn' is a poorly defined, subjective term.

Anonymous said...

What hasarder said!

However, I voted "yes" based solely on the fact that I've definitely 'rubbed one out' during a Real Sex episode. Maybe that's just me.

Tajalude said...

Man, I need to get premium cable.

I said no. While I am opposed to my husband viewing "MY" definition of porn (without me), I would be fine, and almost happy, with him watching something like Real Sex, especially if it was for the purpose of learning something!

Desmond Jones said...

Hmmmm. . . I'm inclined to say that anything that engages you on an erotic level is a place you should be very, very careful about going to. It's been a while since I've seen any really nasty 'porn' ('money shots', etc), and for the most part, I would think of that stuff as pretty crude and demeaning, anyway. But a 'real movie' like 'Basic Instinct', say, can actually engage me on a more 'erotic' level than straight-out porn, because it engages the emotional/relational element of sex in a way that porn typically can't be bothered with.

Either way, I think of it as if I'm sitting in someone else's bedroom while they're having sex - I really shouldn't be here. . .

And, I really do want to 'reserve' my sexuality for my wife, and have it be 'set aside' for purposes of our marital union. . .

Do I think that it's the same as "cheating on your wife, you perv"? I'm not sure. . . But I want to take seriously when Jesus says, "anyone who looks on a woman lustfully commits adultery in his heart". . . Perhaps he's intentionally overstating it, but I'd still want to take it seriously.

But that's me. . . You've got to decide what you're gonna do. . .

Just Me said...

I think I need to agree a lot with Desmond. While I would be much more pissed off if My Sweet were having sex with another woman, I still think it is like going to a strip club. It takes you to a place that can sully a powerful and sensitive part of us. And watching Real Sex (sorry, never saw the other) is different than reading some of the blogs about the sex part of people's marrages. I usually feel that what is written in a blog is something that may be said amoung friends over a glass of wine or beer. Honest stuff about a real part of married life (and something I wish the church would be a little freer talking about). But when I've watched Real Sex it was because I wanted to see some nudity, and I walked away horney but a bit less soft in my spirit.

Confused Husband said...

hasarder I can't really put myself in the situation of going to a strip club with my mates. I've never been to one. Never intend to do so either. I have been to 1 bachelor party with a stripper. I didn't find myself very entertined and felt out of place there the whole time she was there.

Watching these shows don't get me turned on or aroused at all. I consider a movie to be "porn" by what is in the content of the movie. If the movie is based soley on sex it is porn. If it shows the "money shot" it is porn.

On the other hand if it is a movie like say Fatal Attraction where there is a VERY erotic sex scene in it (my all time favorite sex scene) that is not considered porn.

These shows are not porn in my view because they are more of the documenary genre. Even the shows that have interviews with porn stars are not actually porn because they blur out most of the genital shots.

Satan That may just be you. Or it could very well just be me. I just don't have anything to rub out when I watch that stuff.

taja What would your definition of porn be? Through watching the episodes that I have watched I have learned many new "tricks" that I now use on a semi regular basis. Just like when I read the book 'The Joy of Sex: A Gourmet Guide to Lovemaking'. I actually read that book a few times. The first time was when I was 17. 2 years before I had sex for the first time. I wanted to learn all that I could learn to know how to please a partner. I am still on that quest to learn all that I can.

Desmond I don't watch these shows to be engaged on an erotic level. As I explained in my response to Taja, it is more of a quest to learn all that I can in the matters of sex. Thge more I learn the better I will be to give pleasure to my wife. That is what sex is all about to me. Giving her pleasure.

I view porn to be the same as you do. Demeaning to women. Sex should be more than just walking into a room and doing what they do. There is no feelings or emotion to it. I actually find the "money shot" to be rather digusting. but that's just me.

As far as me putting in there that I'm cheating on Summer, that's just how I feel if I do watch porn. When I was looking at porn online on a semi regular basis I felt like i was cheating on her and taking something away from her. I feel the same way about masterbation.

just me You brought up something that I totally didn't think of. Reading some of the erotic blogs out there. Heck I've even written a few of those posts. Most of the stuff that is viwed on Real Sex in my oppinion could be talked over with a group of friends as well. It's just a little more "out there" in the sexual realm.

Where are these friends that talk openly about sex anyways? I got no one but the net to talk about sex with.

Tajalude said...

My definition of porn is what I found out my husband was looking at without telling me. Short clips and pictures of BJ's and other various things I will not type on here without getting ... angry. : ) I was never invited to view any of this with him, he never asked me if it bothered me, and he lied to me when I called him on it. It was for purely selfish reasons he was doing it, and I'm still working on getting over it.
Watching something like Real Sex, or reading The Joy Of Sex or something along those lines, would be fine in my book, if his intent was improving my pleasure. I don't take offense in my husband finding arousal in something else, as long as he applies it to me. ie, reading about a new position and imaging he & I trying it out and finding that arousing = good.
Watching a clip of a porn chick giving head to some slimeball on a free site and him getting himself off in the process = horrible.

O272 said...

CH - You consider porn cheating on your wife. Your wife considers these shows you watch porn.

Why should anyone else's opinion count?

trueself said...

Well, I voted no, but then it isn't entirely clearcut because I don't consider it a bad thing to watch porn so even if it was porn, and I could possibly be swayed to the opinion that it is, I wouldn't have any problem with any adult watching it that wants to.

I watch Real Sex often, haven't seen the other one you mentioned, and never thought of it as porn, I guess because of the reality aspect of it as opposed to the fakeness of typical porn.

ArtfulDodger said...

I watch those shows sometimes and I don't consider them to be porn per se, so I voted no. But the line is sometimes blurry, depending on the subject matter. They can certainly be voyeuristic in nature and pretty freakin' hot from time to time. I'm not a porn watcher myself either, I enjoy sex in movies when surrounded by character more than anything else.

WomanWise said...

You know what, I'd let my husband watch those shows with no problem. As long as "the johnson" remains under my control I could care less. There is a difference between watching it and "interacting" to it.

Magick Musings said...

I think they are not porn. Not because you didn't rub one out, but because they are not filled with just *sex scenes*...

But what is wrong with rubbing one out?

Hey, did you ever see the episode from real sex with the *clown orgies*? Talk about freaky! Hahahahaha

FTN said...

Hmm, like many others, I've never seen either show. Porn isn't easily defined. Even the court justices many years ago said something along the lines of "I'll know it when I see it." So it's kind of fuzzy. Might be arousing to others and not arousing to you.

But I have to admit, O had a good point in her comment above.

Cinnamon said...

Ummm, CH this is probably a really stupid question... but just because guys are more visual creatures doesn't mean girls aren't visual, too. Why don't you watch porn together with Summer Rose? or go to a Gentlemen's Club together as a naughty adventure you both share?

If Summer Rose doens't like porn, it's probably because she's never seen any that was appealing to her (let's face it 98% is utter crap)

Desmond Jones said...

Yeah. . . what O said. I feel like such a windbag. Three short sentences, and she got right to the core of the matter. . .