Well as suspected last nights post didn't go over to well. It was taken compeltely out of context. which further solidifies to me why I need to censor myself on what I fell, think, and write about on my little tiny niche in the blogoshere. I must continue to just keep things inside and that way it won't be taken out of context. If it don't get written then no one knows about it but me. I've lived my life for over 30 years that way. Why stop living it now?

Danger Will Roberson! Danger!

Or however it is that the saying from that Lost in Space show goes. To be more accurate it should read: Danger blog readers! Danger!

This isn't going to be a very upbeat post I can guarantee that right off the bat. I'm just in a very shitty mood right now. Very, very shitty mood. I cannot express how shitty I am feeling right now.

To start off with We finally have a date that our youngest son will be going to the 2 week evaluation that we were promised back in May. We received a call on Fri. afternoon from his Kaiser therapist saying that the Edgewood Center in San Francisco will have a bed ready for him on Oct. 1. So it went from a few months of nothing to he'll be leaving in a week. So I called the center yesterday and got a list of things that they need to have done this week before he can go there. Which left SR running all over the place tonight trying to rush through physicals and TB tests. We also now have to go buy him new clothes this weekend because he don't have clothes that are appropriate to wear in S.F. We were going to get his winter clothes for his birthday next month. Now we need them this weekend.

We are in such a rush anymore. For everything. The stress is getting unbearable. We have been letting everything slide lately. The house looks like shit right now. We're behind on laundry, my parents come home from their trip on Mon. afternoon so they won't even be able to see youngest until he comes home. We need to do a ton of housework next week so that we can have oldest son's birthday thingy on Sat. night. We wanted to have a combined birthday party for both boys but that won't be happening now. Youngest is going to miss his brothers birthday too.

To top off all the other crap that we have to do next week my sister called me this afternoon when I got to work and told me that our aunt died this morning. So I will be going to the viewing on Tue. evening and the funeral services on Wed. afternoon. This will be an easier funeral to go too this time though. Summer is going to be able to attend this one with me seeing as youngest will be in S.F. at the time. We just need to decide whether oldest will be going with us or staying home with his Great Grandma. We really don't want to take him out of school. But he also should be around the family as well. It may be the only time he sees some of the relatives at this point.

I know that I wrote a warning in the beginning of this post, but I just can't seem to let myself write what I was warning about. I don't want to revert to what I used to be. Then again if I don't write it out I'll end up keeping it all inside and that will just make it worse. It basically boils down to this: I'm tired of the double standards. I'm tired of be asked to things that are not done for me in return. I have a job too. I am also in a managerial position so I need to set an example. The thing is that when I ask and am turned down I am to just accept it and go on about my day. When I am asked to do the same thing but say that I can't leave work I get an attitude and am treated like I don't care. I do care. The thing is if I run to take care of things every time I'm asked to it is just going to solidify to the kids that they don't have to listen to certain people. They only have to listen to me and that's it. Boundaries need to be set and they need to be enforced. STRONGLY enforced. The parent needs to stick by what they say. I they say NO then it must mean NO. When it comes out any different the child quickly learns that NO actually means no until you get tired of saying no then it will be a yes. Does that make sense? Or am I just talking out of my ass here. Maybe I just don't know a dammed thing.

It's a dammed good thing that I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow. I haven't seen him since May. With all the other crap that we have had going on I haven't had time to get in to see him. Maybe I'll feel a hell of a lot better tomorrow. that is if I actually open up to him and don't just keep things on the surface. I need to get down inside.

All I can really say right now is that I can't wait for Oct. 20 to get here.

WHAT?!?!

I opened the internet this morning to find THIS article. Apparently this lady is pushing for a law that states marriages will automatically dissolve after 7 years.

Where do these people come from?

Busy, busy, busy...........

........with just a smidgen of laziness in there for good measure.

I've been quite busy lately with work, family matters, doctor appointments (sometimes two a week), personal projects that I have decided to start on, and IEP meetings. I have also pretty much cut my blogging time at work down to nothing. Reading some comments on a few blogs has pretty much scared me away from that. For the short term anyways.

I was actually dumb enough to think that once both boys were in school I'd be able to spend more time blogging during my alone time at home. What a silly thought that was. When you don't get home till after midnight, don't fall asleep till almost 2, then get up to help get kids ready for school at 6:45 it leaves you pretty tired. So I'm back in bed when oldest leaves the house. Then get up around noon and the day is pretty much shot. I really need to do something about this.

So youngest is now back in school. He likes it and seems to be doing good there. He's also seeing a therapist through the county now once a week. She has suggested to me that I don't take him hunting at all this year (a little too late for that since he went dove hunting with me, but no more this year), that we don't let him watch any hunting shows on TV and that we don't let him watch any of my hunting movies. So what that means for me is that I'm not allowed to watch hunting movies or TV either when he is at home. Kinda REALLY SUCKS! So the TV hasn't been on much lately when he's at home since that is usually what is on if the TV is on.

In other news oldest going to be a teenager on Thu. I can't believe it. I'm really getting old. I'm in my early thirties and have a teenager. How did this happen? You don't need to answer that. :D I said that to my mom the other day (the not being old enough to have a teenager) and she told me to shut up. SHE wasn't old enough to be a grandparent to a teenager. Add to that the fact that she didn't have a say in the matter either. So I guess that means I need to look elsewhere for my pity parties. :D

Strangely enough oldest son really don't seem too excited about becoming a teenager. I know I was all excited about it. He just wants to know when we will be celebrating it this year since my parents are over seas right now. They are on a Trans Atlantic cruise. They flew to London on Tue. spent4 days there, then got on a ship Sat. morning in Dover and are cruising to New York. Then they will stay in NYC for 4 days and fly home around Oct. 2 I believe. Must be nice to be retired.

As to my personal project that I have been working on, I have started to bring home my parents photo albums from when the got married up to just a few years ago. I have been going through them and scanning the photos that I want to have and trying to restore them as best I can. Some of them are pretty faded. Especially the ones that don't say Kodak on the back. The ones that are printed on Kodak paper aren't faded. It's really weird seeing myself like I used to be. I looked like such a dork back in the late 80's. I also brought back a lot of memories as well. Especially the Christmas photos. I saw a photo taken Christmas of 78 when I received my most remembered toy. It was a Sho Gun Warrior. It had rockets that shot from it's chest and a fist that when you pushed a button would fly into the air. I loved that toy. Didn't it look so cool?!




So for the rest of this post I will just add some of the pictures that I scanned and leave a brief description of what is being looked at.

This would be me about 1977-8. not sure which. We had just got back from a camping trip to Lake Shasta. I cought both of these fish. One is a German Brown and the other is a Small Mouth Bass.


My sister and I in 1979. It was Easter Sunday. My aunt made that shirt for me. It was my favorite shirt.

This one of those pictures taken that serve no purpose except to embarrass the subject. Pay attention Therese! My family was out for a walk and I needed to go use the bushes. So what does my dad do? He takes this picture and tells me that he is going to show it to my girlfriends when I get older. He does just that too. Why? To embarrass the child! It is a parents right to do just that. Especially after all the embarrassment they cause you. More on that later though.

As I said earlier- I was a dork in the late 80's. Here I am at Crater Lake in 1988. Shudder.

MY freshman year of High School. It was spirit week and this day was 60's day. So I dressed like a hippie.

This is at my grandparents 69th wedding anniversary. In the picture are my grandparents and about half of their grandchildren. Unfortunately the person mentioned here
is also pictured. This is the only picture that my mom hasn't photo shopped him out of. She wasn't able to do that with this picture because it would take others out as well.

Ah yes. 1993. I was 19 years old. Living on my own. Don't you just love the hair? I was going for the Jason Newstead look. Shaved sides, long everywhere else. This was taken about 3 weeks before I met Summer.

One last picture. This would be Summer and I the day we got engaged. Weren't we cute?

Randomosity IV

Orgies.

It's all fun and games.












Till the itching starts.