Or however it is that the saying from that Lost in Space show goes. To be more accurate it should read: Danger blog readers! Danger!
This isn't going to be a very upbeat post I can guarantee that right off the bat. I'm just in a very shitty mood right now. Very, very shitty mood. I cannot express how shitty I am feeling right now.
To start off with We finally have a date that our youngest son will be going to the 2 week evaluation that we were promised back in May. We received a call on Fri. afternoon from his Kaiser therapist saying that the Edgewood Center in San Francisco will have a bed ready for him on Oct. 1. So it went from a few months of nothing to he'll be leaving in a week. So I called the center yesterday and got a list of things that they need to have done this week before he can go there. Which left SR running all over the place tonight trying to rush through physicals and TB tests. We also now have to go buy him new clothes this weekend because he don't have clothes that are appropriate to wear in S.F. We were going to get his winter clothes for his birthday next month. Now we need them this weekend.
We are in such a rush anymore. For everything. The stress is getting unbearable. We have been letting everything slide lately. The house looks like shit right now. We're behind on laundry, my parents come home from their trip on Mon. afternoon so they won't even be able to see youngest until he comes home. We need to do a ton of housework next week so that we can have oldest son's birthday thingy on Sat. night. We wanted to have a combined birthday party for both boys but that won't be happening now. Youngest is going to miss his brothers birthday too.
To top off all the other crap that we have to do next week my sister called me this afternoon when I got to work and told me that our aunt died this morning. So I will be going to the viewing on Tue. evening and the funeral services on Wed. afternoon. This will be an easier funeral to go too this time though. Summer is going to be able to attend this one with me seeing as youngest will be in S.F. at the time. We just need to decide whether oldest will be going with us or staying home with his Great Grandma. We really don't want to take him out of school. But he also should be around the family as well. It may be the only time he sees some of the relatives at this point.
I know that I wrote a warning in the beginning of this post, but I just can't seem to let myself write what I was warning about. I don't want to revert to what I used to be. Then again if I don't write it out I'll end up keeping it all inside and that will just make it worse. It basically boils down to this: I'm tired of the double standards. I'm tired of be asked to things that are not done for me in return. I have a job too. I am also in a managerial position so I need to set an example. The thing is that when I ask and am turned down I am to just accept it and go on about my day. When I am asked to do the same thing but say that I can't leave work I get an attitude and am treated like I don't care. I do care. The thing is if I run to take care of things every time I'm asked to it is just going to solidify to the kids that they don't have to listen to certain people. They only have to listen to me and that's it. Boundaries need to be set and they need to be enforced. STRONGLY enforced. The parent needs to stick by what they say. I they say NO then it must mean NO. When it comes out any different the child quickly learns that NO actually means no until you get tired of saying no then it will be a yes. Does that make sense? Or am I just talking out of my ass here. Maybe I just don't know a dammed thing.
It's a dammed good thing that I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow. I haven't seen him since May. With all the other crap that we have had going on I haven't had time to get in to see him. Maybe I'll feel a hell of a lot better tomorrow. that is if I actually open up to him and don't just keep things on the surface. I need to get down inside.
All I can really say right now is that I can't wait for Oct. 20 to get here.
3 comments:
I'm sorry for your loss of your aunt. The laundry and other housework is the kind of stuff I realized stressed me out the most and really was the least important. It'll get done eventually, so just stay focused on enjoying time with your family.
And yes, you have to be firm with the kids. I see so many times kids just running over their parents, then the parent acting as though they can't understand why. Blows my mind!
You forgot to mention that J, also went to the docs earlier this week because he chipped a bone in his ankle and is suppose to stay off it for two weeks. J desided to be smart ass at school, and now he's paying the price.
S.R.
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