Jan. 2021 Update

Well it's been a bit since I posted. Summer and I went in on Jan. 6 to have Rona test. She got her positive results on the 9th. I got my positive results on the 10th. Summer was given a Dr. note that said she is to stay home until Jan. 16. I on the other hand talked to a different Dr. and was given a Dr. note to return to work the next day. Meanwhile while I am at work Summer is calling me stating that she is coughing in the morning and there is blood coming up. So the 11th I get a call from Summer that her Dr. wants her to go to the ER and I need to take her. So I tell my boss that I need to leave and why.

At the ER she was X-rayed and they said that she has Rona lungs, but she looks good and it is not a bad case. As long as the blood is just specs in the phlegm there is nothing to worry about. If it comes out as solid blood then she needs to be seen ASAP. Wed. I go back to work and my boss is like so your wife is still sick? 

I told him yes. 

And your here at work?

Yes. I have a Dr. note that says I have to be at work. So here I am. I don't agree with it nor do I like it, but what do you want me to do?

He then proceeds to call his boss and they determine the best course of action is to have everyone in the office building work from different yards except for me. I called Summer and explained the situation to her and she called Kaiser. They told her that the Dr. releasing me was wrong and I should have been home still. So they gave me a new phone appointment for that afternoon. When I talked to that Dr. he told me that I should not be at work and gave me a new Dr. note that had me off work until the 18th. 

I called my boss and told him and he said that was fine. So I went back to being at home for Thu. and Fri. Then on Thu. Summer got a call from the Rona "specialist" in our area and they said that she could go back into public on Fri.

With that we decided to load up our trailer on Fri. morning and went duck hunting Fri. through Mon. since Mon. was MLK Day and a State Holiday. We were able to fully isolate away from other people for 4 days and still be able to do what we enjoy. It was unproductive from a hunting standpoint though. Summer shot 1 duck in 4 days hunting. I didn't shoot my gun at all until Sun. afternoon and missed. My dad came up to meet us on Mon. morning and we didn't fire a shot.

So back to why you are here I guess. What's going on with Summer and I. To answer that I will need to do a time jump. Again I am sorry for this but unfortunately that is what happens when you only Blog at work because you try to save the evenings for working things out with your wife and your weekends are out duck hunting. Sadly season closes this Sun. so no more duck hunting until next Oct.

I will only go as far back as Christmas though. There is more to tell about the week before Christmas but that will take more time and I still need to get to Part 2 of my time away.

Christmas Day Summer and I went hunting together. My mom didn't want to have a get together with my pregnant niece and my sister on her arthritis medication weakening her immune system. Anyways, after hunting, we came home, showered, and just wore lounge clothes for the afternoon. We put a fire log on YouTube with Christmas music and we opened our presents to each other. She was so excited about the gift I got her. She wanted an RC car. Nothing fancy just a Walmart type car. Well I got her a hobby grade 1:16 scale car that will go almost 30MPH. When she opened it she was jumping up and down like a little kid. She had a blast inside the house with it. We then took it outside where it had just finished raining. It was so much fun outside. With the wet roads it was drifting and sliding all over. We played with it until it was time to start dinner.

For dinner I smoked 2 Prime Rib Cap steaks and some jumbo prawns. Summer made Cremini Mushrooms with butter and fresh garlic then we topped it off with a salad and homemade cookies for dessert. We cleaned up after dinner and just sat on the couch holding each other until bedtime. We got up the next morning and drove to my parents to  go hunting with my dad again.

After hunting we went back to my parents and gave them their gifts and hung out for about 30 minutes before coming home. I think that's where we got the Rona from. My mom wasn't feeling to good. 

We then came home and took a shower together, had some sexy time together, and laying there when we were done is when things  fell apart and led to my previous post about wanting it all to end. We (I) started talking about what happened with douche bag and that I didn't believe her previous statement that she went to his house once but was told to leave before she walked in. She admitted then that she had actually gone to his house 1 time previously with the intentions of have fucking him. She said they did not have sex though. That didn't sit well with me. Obviously. I also didn't believe her so I pressed further. 

What did you do if you didn't fuck him. 

We played around.

What does that mean? What did you do? Tell me what the fuck happened.

We kissed and he played with my breasts.

Is that all?

No. He played with my pussy and I sucked his dick. (she was fucking smiling as she said this)

AND?!

He wouldn't get hard.

IS THAT ALL?!    

No. I sat on top of him and rubbed my pussy on his dick. But we didn't have sex because he didn;t get hard.

So because he didn't enter you it wasn't sex? What's your definition of sex then? When Clinton was in office what his quote? "I did NOT have sexual relations with that woman." But what came out in the end? They had ORAL SEX! IT'S CALLED ORAL SEX FOR A FUCKING REASON!! IT'S SEX!!!!! BUT WHEN IT CONCERNS YOU IT'S NOT SEX? IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER THAT YOU ONLY RUBBED YOUR FUCKING PUSSY ON HIS LIMP DICK?

NO IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.

WE JUST PROVED THAT YOU CAN STILL FINISH AND CLIMAX WHEN MY DICK ISN'T HARD. SO HOW IS IT NOT SEX? (One of the side effects that hasn't gone away since I found out is that I am unable to remain hard very long once I penetrate her. Finishing is next to impossible most times.)

OK. We had sex. Are you happy now?

OF COURSE I'M NOT FUCKING HAPPY! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN TO HIS HOUSE TO FUCK HIM? HOW OFTEN HAS HE BEEN HERE WHEN I'M AT WORK OR OUT HUNTING?

That's it. I went to his house one other time to have sex with him and as I pulled up he messaged me to go back home because his ex GF was on the way over with his kids so I kept driving. I never even stopped. He has NEVER been to this house.

From that point I don't remember what was said. I do remember not sleeping very well that night. She got up and left for work at 530 Sun. morning. That is the day I referred to when I slept in so late and didn't want to get out of bed. I finally did get out of bed because I had to let my little girl outside so she can go potty.  At that point I started my day of movement and not stopping to rest or eat. I didn't eat breakfast or eat lunch. I began a thorough cleaning of the entire house. My back was killing me and it hurt to move but I didn't care. I moved furniture to sweep and mop underneath. Couches, recliners, dining table and chairs, everything. The only thing I didn't move was the computer desk because it's just to full and heavy. Even thinking about this is making my back hurt like hell. 

I even cleaned the laundry room floor. Did countless loads of laundry until there was not a single article of dirty clothes in the house except what I was wearing. I was streaming music from my phone to the TV's sound bar at high volume. All in an attempt to keep my mind from racing. Once all the laundry was dried I threw it all on the bed and started folding it and putting it away. My back hurt so bad that I was on my knees folding laundry and walking on my knees to the dresser and closet to put them away. My back hurt so bad that I stopped long enough to put my head on the bed while knelling beside it. I started crying because of the pain. It was starting to go into my arms as well. But that 2-3 minutes of not being active made my mind race. I kept picturing my wife with someone else's dick in her mouth. Looking lovingly up at him while blowing him. I had to start cleaning again so I forced myself up and cleaned the kitchen.

Once that room was done there wasn't anything to clean except the bathrooms and I don't clean the bathrooms. I will clean the entire house with no problems. All Summer needs to do is the bathrooms. Whatever. I I'm not here to debate who's job it is to clean what. Sue me. If you have a problem with it fuck off.

So I grabbed some rags, a step stool and Murphy's Oil Soap. I proceeded to clean my entire dresser, Then took everything off the shelf above my dresser and dusted the knick-knacks and oiled the shelf. Music still blasting loudly. Once my shelf was done I moved to the book case. Most of the knick-knacks on top of that book shelf belong to Summer. As I was oiling it and dusting I started to have tears welling up. I didn't even hear Summer come in the door.She was yelling for me and I couldn't hear because it was too loud. She turned the music down and came into the room and I pretty much ignored her at first. She asked me if I'd like help and I said I didn't care. She stayed and helped for a bit asked what was wrong and I said she should know. By this point I was a wreck. I don't really remember the details about what happened the rest of that night. I just know that as the evening progressed by back got worse.

I know that this is supposed to be an update as to what is going on in Jan. and I got some of that in here. Right now I need to go. Just thinking about this is making my back get worse.

Till next time

Happy FUCKING New Year

Well the shitty year of 2020 has finally come to an end. 2021 is now upon us and has already started with a bang. Both Summer and I are sick. We did feel good enough yesterday to go duck hunting in the morning though. 

I was able to get 1 teal. We started to not feel to good so we stopped around 930 and headed back home. On the drive I got a text from my mom stating that she was tested for COVID on New Years Day and her results came back positive. Since Summer and I were there on day after Christmas for about 30 minutes and I was there again on the 31st, we decided to call Kaiser. They told us to stay off work for at least a week until we can be tested and have results and that our doctors would be calling us on Monday. The soonest we can be tested is Wednesday the 6th. 

What a great start to the fucking New Year! I hope my mom gets through this Ok. I don't care if I catch it though. I am afraid that Summer and I will be separated due to one of us being positive. I know that is very unlikely, but I have been having this recurring dream since the 27th that we are going to be separated at a hospital. Now with this it makes me feel like it is more likely to happen. 

So with that I will end this post. There is quite a b it to tell but I hate trying to post on my tablet and don't feel like going to the living room to use the computer. 

Where to begin now?

So where I left off last post was about how Summer had been cheating on me again. I found out on my favorite day of the year. Opening day of duck season. Oct. 24. Which is ironic, because going through some of my very first posts ever, that is the same date I found out about Mr. D. 

Summer, my dad and I went out duck hunting earlier in the day (by the way Summer got her hunting license 3 years ago). When we got home from hunting Summer and I got in the shower together and got dressed to head out to an RV dealership. I had been researching RV's for over a year to purchase and had finally narrowed it down to 2 RV's to choose from. I had thought that she was on the same page as me with getting an RV. We were only there to look. Not making a purchase. I had been watching YouTube videos daily for over a year and decided that I wanted to see one in person.

So we drove an hour away to a place that just got one of the models in that we were interested in. While we were there I was real excited and was happy with what I saw but again was only there to look. I wanted to see the second model first, plus I wasn't going to be ready until some time in spring.

The entire time she just didn't seem into it. Even though for months she would get all excited and tell me that she would see a certain model of trailer going down the road or while watching YouTube she would tell me that certain features are a deal breaker. So on the way home I tried to talk to her and she was being silent until almost halfway home she said that she felt we were moving in separate directions. WHAT?!? 
That took me completely by surprise. I have always wanted to go one direction with her and that was to be together for the rest of our natural lives. I couldn't stand the thought of not being with her. She that was a huge part of the problem. That I make her feel smothered because I always want to spend time with her. I don't always want to spend time with her. I like having some time without her. But when we only have one day a week where we are both off work together I don't think it is too much to ask for that one day to be spent together. She has Fri. to herself to do what she wants. Sat. should be for us together. Sun. is for me without her.

I also don't think that it is too much to ask for her to take a Sun. off so we can be together for 2 days in a row. I always need to take off on Fri. because she won't take a Sun. off to do something with me. But if she wants to go back to her home town she just takes a day off and leaves. Don't even discuss it just says I'm going. I've never had a problem with her going to her hometown. I actually think that she should go more often. I would just like to have some time with her as well. We had planned since July a hunting trip together first weekend in Oct. She told me her boss denied it though. She did however have no problems telling Douchebag that I was going be leaving. Told him the time I was leaving and day I'd be back. We had also planned a hunting trip to Oregon for a year together with my dad and uncle for opening weekend of pheasant season Nov. 14. She said she was denied that as well. Although she did end up having jury duty so I have to give her an out on that.

Anyways I'm getting off track here. So after she told me this we went out to dinner because it was late. Didn't talk all that much. Side note by this time it was almost 7:00 in evening. I had been awake since 2:00 in morning with very little sleep because I was too excited about duck hunting to sleep. When we got home it was time for Summer to go to bed so she could get up at 3:00 to go to work a 12 hour shift  in the morning.

Side note here: It is important to state that after I came home from hunting in Northern Ca. first weekend in Oct. I called in sick to work on Oct. 7, which was a Thu. Summer had a Dr. appt. so she had the day off as well. She went to her appointment alone and when after she came home and we went to Walmart where she an appointment to get a haircut. I did some shopping while I waited. Once her hair was done, we left the store. As we are driving out of the parking lot, she receives a phone call. Her response is "I can't talk right now. I'm with someone" and then hung up. Someone. She said that I was someone. She didn't say I'm with my husband. Didn't say I'm with CH. She called me someone. 

So with that quick detour we now go back to the evening of Oct. 24. After she went to bed it was starting to click that something more was going on. Between being called someone 2 weeks ago, no sex for a week, her hiding her iPad if I walked behind her to let the dog outside or in the house, and now being told we were going different directions, I did what I did in 2005 when I found out about Mr. D. I looked at her phone. I saw her messages to Fucking Douchebag on FB Messenger. She told him how wet he made her and that she wanted to feel him inside of her. I felt sick. I went into the bedroom, told Alexa to turn on the light and asked her what the fuck this was. She yelled your looking through my phone and tried to grab it from me. I told her that if she tried again I would break it in half. I could feel the anger rising. I hadn't lost my temper with her since late 2004 or early 2005. I felt that I was back on the verge. Just thinking about it now is making my hands start to shake and my heart rate is increasing.

 

Had to take a bit of a break there. I'm now at home and it is almost time for bed. I had to calm myself down a bit before continuing on. 

So anyways where did I leave off there? I again asked what the fuck is this shit? Your fucking someone else again? Just rethinking about that night has me on the verge of tears again but I need to get this out. I don't remember what she said next but I took her phone and left the room. She jumped out of bed and followed me into the kitchen and kept grabbing for her phone. I put it into my pocket so she couldn't get to it. 

I can't do this. I need to wait till tomorrow maybe I can finish then. 

So this post was started on Dec. 3. It is now Dec. 8. Let's see if I can get it finished at some point before Christmas.

So she kept trying to grab the phone. I ended up putting it in my pocket. We ended up in the kitchen, I was sitting on one of the counters wearing a pair of shorts and a tshirt. Summer was jolted out of bed and had no clothes on (this is important for later). Again this was on Oct. 24, so the exact words that were said I can't remember. I do know that I kept calling her a whore. Thinking back on that I know that it was wrong. I was not thinking clearly. I was reacting emotionally and not in a responsible manner. She kept saying that he was just a "friend" nothing else. If he was just a "friend" then why was she calling him love? Why did one of her messages say that she was thinking him for letting her get 3 little words out during a video chat: I love you. If he was just a friend then why did she tell him that I back in July that I didn't please her in bed and that I didn't last long enough? Why did she tell him that she wished I would just die so she could collect the life insurance money?

We kept it going till past midnight. The whole time she kept trying to stick her hand up the shorts I was wearing to touch me. In one of my third or fourth posts ever I wrote how she would always try to touch me. She was trying to do it again. Only this time I was having none of it. I kept pushing her away. 

I asked how long this had been going on. She said not long. She kept begging me not to look at her phone anymore and I asked why. She said because he asked her to send her pictures of her without clothes. She said that she didn't do it but she didn't want me to see the message where he asked.

 Finally around 1:00 she went back to bed and I went to sit on the couch and read through all of the messages. In the messages she told him that she was being forced to sleep in the spare bedroom the prior week. Untrue. She came to bed with me that night. She told him early on in Oct. that she wanted to find a place of her own but could not afford it yet, and she was saving money from every check so she can afford it.

I scrolled further and she told him that I was leaving town on Oct. 2 and would not be back until the 4th. She even told him what time I was leaving the house and that she wanted him to come over. Conveniently she told me that her time off request for the 4th was denied. I guess now I know why . She didn't ask for it off so she could be with Douchebag instead.

Then when I saw  a message from Sept. I see that she took a picture of herself at 3:00 in the morning while I was in bed and sent it to him of her laying on the couch without clothes on camera centered on her pussy. The message from her said good morning. Just thinking about your hard dick makes me so wet. Interesting because she sent him the picture without him asking.

I scrolled deeper into the messages and saw that she took a picture of herself wearing lacy underwear with the string up the butt that she never wears for me. Ones that she asked me to buy her almost 3 years ago in Reno. I bought her 5 pairs. She wore one pair that weekend. Never wore them for me again. But she asks Douchebag what color he would like to see her in. Even offers to wear the sexy lingerie for him that she won't wear for me because she "don't feel comfortable". 

She is always telling me that she didn't sleep well at night because the dog needed to go outside. But looking at the messages she would wait till I was asleep to go message him at midnight or 11:00 or 1:00. I always thought it was interesting that the dog always needed to go out in the middle of the night but when she was working nights or was out of town the dog never got out of bed when it was just dog and me. ow that the messages have stopped with Douchebag, the dog miraculously doesn't go out in middle of the night.

Scrolling more I see her tell him she can't afford a place of her own yet.

In July she told him that I don't please her in bed anymore because I don't last long enough. Same conversation she told him that she wished I would die so she can get the life insurance money. That's not happening. When I found out I took her off of the life insurance policy and added our oldest and our 2 nieces instead. She also told him that she didn't want to go on our trip together. She told me she was looking forward to going to Oregon and seeing Crater Lake.

Scrolled through and saw that she fucking sexted him in March on our anniversary!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!! Our 26th anniversary she is sexting someone else.

In Feb. she told him when I was going to be out of town goose hunting.

She did the same thing when I was goose hunting for a week in Jan.

This was after I took her on a cruise to Mexico the prior week. She had me buy her several hundred dollars in jewelry. Told me she had a great time. Told him she had a bad time and hated being with me for the 4 days.

She was sexting him around Christmas and sending him photos for weeks prior to that. There was no regular talking even in the very first messages that I saw. It was straight to sexting. Saying they wished to actually be in each others beds. SHE WANTED TO BRING SOMEONE ELSE INTO MY BED!!!!!

And this was only the messages that I could see. They also had voice calls via FB Messenger as well at all hours of the night and sometimes while she was at work throughout the year. Then there was the video calls with messenger which happened almost weekly. Then there is the phone calls and text messages that she erased right after they came in. I have no clue how often those happened or for how long they went on for.

Oh....she also wrote to him about a week before I found out that she was worried about him because he "couldn't finish" due to his age. WHAT!?! She tells him I don't last long enough but tells him she is worried about his fucking age!

By this point it was almost 2 in the morning. I couldn't take it anymore. I had been awake for 24 hours at this point and had to get out of the house. I called my sister and she actually answered. I told her I was on my way and she said the door would be open when I got there. I called the dog and loaded her in the truck and we left. Summer asked where I was going and I told her it was none of her business.

The drive that normally takes almost an hour only took me just over 30 minutes and that's with getting gas. I got there just after 2:30. Walked in the door hugged my sister and lost it. She took me to the garage so I didn't wake up my niece. She packed a bowl for me and I talked to her about that happened and about Mr. D and the fact that I feel like I am cheating on her for just watching a pornhub video if we haven't had sex in over a week.

After all this time I feel like if I watch a porn that I cheating on her.

We went inside and stayed up talking till about 4. From there I was getting up and peeing every 20-30 minutes even though I wasn't drinking any water. I was having multiple panic/anxiety attacks. I wasn't sleeping at all. My whole body was shaking. Finally around 5 or 6 in evening my sister drove me home. I couldn't drive because I didn't sleep at all that day. I got home and opened a beer chugged it and opened another. Stayed on deck talking with my sister and her wife for almost an hour before they went back home.

I went into the bedroom and found a way to cast my tablet to the TV and put porn on the TV, covered my head with a pillow and waited for Summer to arrive home from working 12 hour shift. When she got home she had the fucking nerve to be mad at me for porn on the TV saying "Oh I should have known this is what you would do". Really? known this is what I would do? I wasn't even watching it! I was laying on my side away from TV with a pillow over my head. I told her no this is to show you that if I ever wanted to cheat on you this is my idea of cheating. 

This was at about 8:30. We stayed up "talking" till midnight. By this point I was up for just shy of 48 hours. I have no clue what was said in that conversation I was out of it. between the few beers and the total lack of sleep. 

I had already called my boss on Sun. and told him I was not going to be at work on Mon. I slept till about 5 or 6 and couldn't get back to sleep. I got up and went to do something on the computer and for the first time since 2013 I logged into my FB account. I saw that a friend form HS had sent me a messenger message just a few days prior asking how things were doing. He was also the best man at our wedding. I told him things weren't good. So we talked for a few hours.. I also looked up Douchebag and typed out a long message to him, then called Summer at work. I was on the phone with her for over an hour. She kept asking what I was typing on the keyboard. Who was dinging me on messenger (because of course she knows exactly what sound that is). I told her none of her business. Then I finally told her I was typing a message to douchebag. She started begging me not to send it to him. She wouldn't give me a reason at all as to why I shouldn't send it to him.

My friend ended up being the one to talk me out of sending it. Told me I needed to take the high road and be the better man. So I sent it to Summer instead.

After that I messaged my sister and asked if I could stay with her for a few days and she said come on up. She would add my phone to her smart lock so I could walk in at anytime. I went to the bedroom, packed clothes and the dogs things and left. I did leave my wedding ring on the counter with a picture of us in Mexico and wrote on a piece of paper that apparently just like me the picture and ring mean absolutely nothing to her.

I then left and was gone for 5 days.

Wow that was an ordeal to get typed up. It is now Dec. 9 as I am hitting the publish button.

Till next time.

Hey out there! Do any of you still remember me? I'm CH. I know that I've been lacking lately. That might be an understatement actually. I don't know what it is but I just haven't been able to get the gumption up to post on here as of late. I'm torn. Don't know what to do. Don't know what would make me happier. I've thought a lot recently about shutting down. Then every time I think that I also think that it would be a waste to do so.I have 3 years of my life documented here. I don't want to just give up on it. I'll probably just not post as often. Who knows.

So anyways not much has been going on here in the last few weeks since I last posted. I've been making cookies for Christmas again. I'm on my fifth double batch so far. Still have at least 2-3 more double batches to go. As usual I'm going over board on the cookies again. But we go through a lot. 2 Christmas parties, give some away to our neighbors on Christmas day, then there is the ones we'll take to my parents on Christmas day. So we go through a lot too. It's not like I eat them all to myself. That gets saved for the Cordial Cherries. Those are all MINE!

Hunting has been pretty slow lately. I haven't had many opportunities to go. Although 2 weeks ago I got the chance to go on the best pheasant hunt of my life. It was truly amazing. It was like watching a show on the Outdoor Chanel that was taped in South Dakota. Truly a once in a lifetime hunt for someone from Ca.

Jr. has been keeping us busy with his 4H stuff. He is showing a goat this year. Plus the chili cook off that he has signed up for next month. He's also signed up for the rocketry club as well. So we're pretty busy with that.

Youngest is doing alright. At least he is when I'm around. School has been pretty good for him. Home has been getting a little better. At least we are moving ahead in the right direction.

Summer has started babysitting to make some extra money. She's also going back to school starting next week. I think that she has pretty much given up on massage. She did give it a fair try though. We just need more income coming in. Half of her check is going into the gas tank now. Plus her employer has stopped paying standby time. So if she is not giving massages she's not getting paid. They are really slow lately too so sometimes she's there for 6 hours and only does 1 massage. That's a lot of time to be sitting around and not be getting paid.

As for me my schedule/shift has started taking it's toll on me. Right now I'm just hoping that we can get a second lead worker on the crew. Soon. I love the work aspect of the shift still, but I'm getting tired of not seeing the family. I get to see the kids for about 20 minutes in the morning and half an hour for dinner. Summer and I see each other at dinner and thats about it. Unless she comes home from work early. Which isn't often. Plus she works on my days off and I work on hers. We get to a point where we are doing really well together and we can't see each other. So here's to hoping we get a second lead so that I can go back to days. Or at the very least go on a rotating shift which is what my boss wants. If we get two leads he wants to rotate us every two months so we get the experience of the whole job. not just one part. Right now I'm great at the paperwork aspect. But when it comes to the maintenance aspect I suck. I don't deal with that on my shift.

I am taking some time off soon though so that's going to be nice. SR is going to be taking some time off as well at the same time so we can spend time together. I'm working day shift on the 23rd and 24th so I can attend the work Christmas party. Then I don't go back to work until the 2nd of Jan. I'll be off for 8 days and only use 4 days of vacation. Gotta know how to work the system. :D

Hopefully I'll be back in a week or so. We'll see.

Do I look mad?

I really need to do something about all the gray hairs in my beard. For some reason my youngest thinks I look mad in this photo. How can I be mad? I'm out duck hunting! Life don't get better than that. Well unless you wake up to an amazingly sexy wife the next day that is feeling kinda amorous. :D

Still around

Well I am still around. Just not nearly as much as I'd like to be. This is really getting pathetic actually. I haven't posted a thing since the 16th!! What the hell is up with that? Is my life really that boreing? Please don't answer that. I already know the answer is yes.The fact is nothing much has been going on that has really been blog worthy. Youngest son turned 7 last Fri. We had his birthday dinner with my parents on Sat. evening. HJe has 2 $20 gift cards for Walmart and you'd think that he has Hilton money now. He's going to buy the entire store out.

Duck season also started on Sat. morning. I didn;t hunt on opening day though. I was getting things ready for that evening. My dad and I did go out on Sun. morning though. We had a good day. Came home with a few birds, took a few pictures and shot some hunting footage. We are both recording our duck hunts this year. I even got to shoot a bird when my dad was taking movies of the decoys. Can'twait to see it. Too bad at was a "real" duck. It's going to take all year if not next season as well to live this down. I'm so ashamed of myself. Below are 2 of the pictures I took on Sun. morning.

Sun. was a hard day to get through towards the end. I didn't get any sleep on Sat. night. My work phone kept ringing every time I tried to fall asleep. People calling in sick or tug boats wanting after hours openings. So finally at about 10:30 I told work not to call me again because I was supposed to get up at 1 in the morning. So that put a stop to that. Then after the last phone call Summer asked me if I "needed some help getting to sleep". That's code for she wants 'The Sex'. So me not being the type of person that turns down a woman in need got to take my sleeping aid. We both went to sleep happy. Then it was up 2 hours later to drive 100 miles each way then back in time to go to work that evening. I LOVE this time of year! DUCK SEASON IS OPEN!!!!!!!!!!


So at the very least this means that I'll be posting my sunrise pictures every week.

An interview with The INSTALLINATOR!

Last week I volunteered over at Restoring the covenant to have RS interview me. I thought it would be a good idea to let people know some things about me that maybe I haven't touched on very much. So here is how it went:


The Rules: Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me.” I respond by asking you five personal questions (I will leave these questions for you in my comments) so I can get to know you better.If I already know you well, expect the questions may be a little more intimate! Then you update your blog with the answers to the questions (please don't leave your answers in my comments unless you don't have a blog). Include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the post. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you ask them five questions.

1. What are the issues you have with organized religion? This one I have a hard time explaining. When I was little my parents lived with my grandma for about 2 years. During that time My grandma made my sister and I go to church with here every Sun. Whether we wanted to or not. It was part of the "rules" of living there. At the time it didn't matter to me. I wanted to make grandma happy so I went. When I was5 my goal in life was to become an alter boy when I got old enough. My grandma is Catholic as I think I previously mentioned in some older post. She is the type of person that don't miss church for any reason at all. She brings communion to the people in town that are not able to go to church for whatever reason. In the past 33 years of my life I can only think of 2 times she has missed church and both of them were in the past month. Once when she was in the hospital and the other time 2 weeks ago she was sick or something and didn't make it then either.

I know this is supposed to be about me not my grandma but bear with me.

So then my parents moved out of her house and we were no longer required to go to church. We lived out of her house for 6 years. Then my mom got accepted in UC Berkeley in 1986. So back to grandmas we move. By this time I'm almost 13. My dad said that it would be up to my sister and I if we wanted to attend church or not. we would no longer have to go if we didn't want to. So we didn't go. I just didn't have the desire to go.

So fast forward a few more years and I'm about 19. It is 1993. I'm heavy into drinking and drugs. I had gotten my GF pregnant and she had a "miscarriage". I was having a real hard time in my life. A friend of mine asked me to go to church with him on a Wed. night. I accepted his invitation and went with him. It was the first time that I attended a non Catholic church. It was also the first time I attended a church in the middle of the week and there really weren't many people there. He took me into his bible study group with his counselor (I can't remember exactly what he was so counselor is what I will call him). I liked it so I went back the following week. I ended up going every Wed. night for quite some time. It is there that I founded my views on religion. The counselor told me that God did not care where we (people) worship. He just cares that you accept Him in your life.

So that is pretty much where my religious beliefs lie at the present.

Now to the exact question. My "issue" with organized religion is that every religion says that they are right and all others are wrong. My Christian friend says my grandma is wrong because she is Catholic and don't worship the "proper" way. Therefore she won't go to heaven. My other friend a Witness says that the Witness's are the only ones going to heaven and everyone else is wrong because they celebrate birthdays and such. SR's pastor says that Catholics are wrong because they believe in purgatory and that praying for the dead will get them into heaven. My grandma says that Christians are wrong because they worship wrong.

Are you getting what me issues are yet? My issue is the belief that you must go to church every Sun. in order to be a true believer. Or that one religion is right and the rest are wrong. I don't think so. I believe that a person should go to where ever he feels closest to God. To some that may be a church. To others it could be the forest. Or the mountains. I feel closer in a natural environment not in a church built by people. I believe that as long as you believe that is what matters. Not what religion you choose.

Make sense?

2. What would your dream vacation entail? My dream vacation would be going on a cruise somewhere. Anywhere actually! Who am I kidding? My dream vacation would be to go to Canada in Sept. for about 2 weeks. Maybe 3. I'd spend the first week hunting early season ducks and geese with a guide. The second week would be on a back pack hunting trip for multiple species. Moose, bear, and caribou. It would actually be 10 days. 2 to walk in to the hunting location 6 to hunt and 2 to walk out. The last portion would be fishing for trout in lakes that the only way to access them is horseback or hiking. I would love to do a trip like that with my dad before he gets too old to do something like that.

Of course the trip he is taking in June is a close second. He's driving to Alaska for 6 weeks to go fishing. He is going to start fishing in Canada and fish a different lake every day for 4-5 weeks.

I know these trips don't include the kids. I want to do a trip like that as well. The hope is to go on a Disney cruise in the Caribbean in the next few years. Before youngest turns 12. that way we can have a mix of alone time for Summer and I mixed with plenty of family time for the 4 of us.

3. What is your favorite thing about being a parent? The best part of being a parent. Let's see here. The ability to take the things I love the most and instill them into my boys. Like hunting, and fishing, or anything outdoors. The way that anything that I like they instantly like as well. For instance one of my favorite movies- Airplane! My oldest son just about has that movie memorized. It really annoys Summer because she hates that movie. Or any movie of it's type. I love to work on my Toyota and get it ready to become a rock crawling beast. Both of my boys get excited about the prospect of taking my truck out when it is finally ready. They both love the same music that I do. Which is nice when oldest buys music from Itunes he gets songs I like too. :D

It's also fun to do "guy" things when Summer isn't around. Like belching and farting. And cracking up over it. Fun times.

4. Is there one biggest lesson you can share with us that you learned from your struggles with Summer a couple years ago? This is going to be a tough one. I learned so much going through that period in our lives. It's also hard because I have a hard time "searching deep down inside" to find my thoughts. If that makes any sense.

I would have to say that one of the bigger things that I learned is that I really need to think before I open my mouth. I had to install a filter between my thoughts and my mouth. That filter is still in the tuning mode but it has helped immensely. I learned that the things I say can hurt very deeply and for an extremely long period of time. I used to believe that if something was bothering me and I was mad about it I could go ahead and spew out all that anger and when I was done spewing everything would be hunky dory. It was better to let it all out than to hold it all in. To a point I still believe that. But there is a proper way to do it and a wrong way. I chose the wrong way. It still tries to rear it's ugly head from time to time. I just know what to look for now. I really need to be quick to catch it and put it under control.

I feel like I'm rambling and not making any sense here.

I guess what I really learned through most of this and not until recently (I knew it but thought I could change it) was that Summer has a completely different temperament than me. She isn't able to just let the things I say roll off her back and take it as venting. She would take it very personally. So I really need to be careful about what I say and how I say it so she understands what I'm upset about.

5. When did you get into hunting? Was that something you've done since you were little? I've been into hunting since I was about7 when we moved out of my grandmas house for the first time. We moved to Northern California about an hour outside of Redding. We lived off the land back then. We grew all of our own fruit and vegetables, raised our own chickens, and bought a cow and pig every year to have butchered. My dad got back into deer hunting when we moved up there. We went every year. Every weekend. He would wake me up very early in the mornings and we'd drive out into the woods and park. Then when the sun would just start to come up we'd get out of the truck and start walking. I was always amazed at the time at how my dad could walk into the woods for hours at a time and still be able to find the truck at lunch time. We hunted deer for the entire time we lived up there. Never got one but we went our every year. Then when we moved back to Grandmas I got my hunting license a couple years later. That was when my uncle took me out duck hunting for the first time. That was in 1988. That has been my true love ever since. There is just something about being in a duck blind before the sub comes up and witnessing the world come alive before your eyes. That my friends is where I feel the most spiritual. Witnessing creation in it's pure form.

Ever since that time I have changed my love for the outdoors. It used to be all about fishing and deer hunting. Now I'm really only into the deer hunting as a way to spend time with my dad. I still have never shot a deer. Although I missed one when I was 17. Now it's all about the ducks. I still like to fish but not like I used too.

So you could say that it was something that I have been into ever since I was little. Just like my oldest son. He went on his first deer hunting trip the day after he turned 6. Went on his first duck hunt a month later. Now he goes out with me every chance he gets. It's something that is in the blood.

I hope this all made sense. If not please ask and I will be more than happy to elaborate on anything you'd like. I'm an open book.

Hunting pictures

As I said a few days ago I will now post some pictures from the last few days of duck hunting.

Summer out goose hunting in my farmers field.

Our boys.

Our very small decoy spread.

The sunrise on my final day of duck hunting.

Me with the days take of ducks. My goose, drake mallard, drake teal, my cousins hen mnallard and hen wood duck.

The end of day total. The birds from the picture above, and 5 pheasants. 3 hens and 2 roosters. It was a good way to end the season.

Where to begin?

That's what I am asking myself right now. Where should I begin with the updates? I haven't really made a *real* update in quite awhile. So I think I'll just start off from last weekend (weekend of the 20th) and move on into this week.

So my cousin and I were making plans to go duck hunting for the entire weekend that weekend. Then on Wed. night (1/17) as we were talking about the last minute details my uncle broke in on the line to say that his M-I-L just passed a few minutes ago.

Now she was not family to me, but she did babysit me a few times as a kid and we stayed in touch through family events through the years. I had just eaten dinner with her 2 weekends prior when I hunted with my cousin last. she was not in good shape at all. She was in the advanced stages of Alzheimer's.

So my parents drove me down for the funeral on Sat. I had decided to go to the funeral instead of going hunting for the day. While there I had a few awkward moments with my aunt that is the mother of my divorced cousin. She and I had a little squabble on Myspace that I never posted about. So that was weird but other than that it was a good service.

While there I also started talking to my parents and and a few other relatives about retirement. Yeah I know. I'm too young to retire. That's ok though. Something that I am a firm believer in is that a person can NEVER be to young to plan for retirement. anyways I had always planned on retiring at the age of 59 1/2 (The age to draw from my 401k with no penalties). Through talking with my parents I found out that I can actually retire at the age of 55! Is that awesome or what? I can retire 4 1/2 years early. Then get another job like driving truck or whatever for the next 5-8 years. Then be done for good with the payments from SS. If I even decide at that point I want to work after leaving the state. I really won't have a need to. Outside of keeping me occupied while not hunting, fishing, and traveling.

The day after the funeral Summer asked me to stay home from hunting to be with her and the kids for the day. So I stayed home. but the wind picked up late in the afternoon and I couldn't pass on the opportunity. I told the boys to meat me in the truck in 15 minutes if they wanted to go on a quick trip to a farmers field for the last 2 hours of shoot time. That's when Summer asked if she could go too. So the whole family went. We had a really good time. Didn't fire a shot, but got to see thousands of geese grinding in the adjacent field. Not owned by the farmer that gave me permission to hunt. My work is cut out for me for next year. :D

Then came Wed. That was to be the last day of my duck season. I just didn't know it at the time. It was an awesome hunt. I ended the season with a bang. Literally. I couldn't hit the broad side of a barn. I shot 3 birds for over a box of shells. But I did get 2 nice drakes. 1 mallard, 1 teal. And my first and only goose for the season. After my cousin and I were done duck hunting his dad called us up and asked if we wanted to shoot some pheasants. Since I haven't shot a pheasant in years I said I'd love to. So he had 6 pheasants planted in a field for us by the time we got back to his club. We walked out there for the final hunt of the season and watched some amazing dog work by my uncles dog. We got 5 out of 6 birds.

It was the perfect way to end the season.

The next day is when I got sick and I was in bed for 3 straight days. I was out of bed long enough on Sat. to get my taxes done though. I just love e-file. If you don't use it I can just say this- Step into the 21st century people! This is not the 1940's anymore! It's the only way to go.

Last night Summer attended another one of my therapy appointments with me. We had a good time there. My therapist actually thinks that I am ready to see my psychiatrist to see about reducing my meds. Only problem is that she is out of the office indefinitely. My therapist, SR and I all think that the talk I had with my parents last month has a huge deal to do with why I am feeling so much better. I just got so much stuff off of my chest that night. It has truly been a life altering night.



And now the news everyone has been waiting for. Drum roll please.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.


Summer had her breast reduction surgery this morning! She went under the knife at 8:00AM this morning. It took a little longer than anticipated, but the surgery went great. Of course they didn't let me come in to see her until after 2:00! Then I had to leave at 4:00 to get back home to pick youngest up from his after school program. So I only had 2 hours to spend with her. she was pretty groggy which is to be expected. But she is so happy to finally have it done. Now we just have to wait for the heeling process to finish so we can see how it looks. For the next 7 days she has to wear a bra 24/7. She is not allowed to take a shower until her post-op appointment next Mon. I don't go back to work until next Tue. So I will be here to help her around the house. Or rather make sure she stays in bed. She is staying tonight in the hospital and will return tomorrow. I am going to see her as soon as the boys are off to school. She should be home a little after lunch. Fingers crossed. Parents leave for Mexico in the morning and won't be here to get kids from school.

One last thing. While waiting to get to go and see Summer a coworker called me and "disguised" his voice to tell me that my temporary promotion and crew change got approved today. So as of Feb. 1 I will be getting a 5% out of class pay raise for up to a year and $0.50 an hour raise for working an evening shift. When I return to work on Tue. I will no longer have to work with annoying coworker! (If you haven't read about her I recommend clicking both links to get up to speed.)

Tomorrow I'll post some pictures from the last 2 hunting trips for the year.

Wonderful weekend

Howdy all! Isn't today a great day? The birds are signing, the skies are clear. It's just a great, wonderful day.

Why you ask?

I'll tell you!

First of all I left the house on Fri. night to go duck hunting for the weekend. more importantly though Summer's sister was gone when I came home yesterday! :D My house is now back to normal. I can walk around in my boxers again after the kids go to bed. I don't have to come into the living room to find some lame ass show on my television (insert some stupid model contest show, and anything on MTV). I can sit in my living room with no television on and enjoy the silence. just me and my computer screen. I can now read blogs and post when I want to without someone looking at the screen to see what I'm doing. I can IM with people without being questioned for it.*

It's just a great feeling.

So before I go into detail about how the hunting was let me answer a question from Rob on my last post.

If SR's sis is such a total nutbar at times, driving you completely bonkers, then why do you have her staying at your home? Is this your new year's resolution to address self abuse? (evil grin)

No rob this is not my resolution. I don't make resolutions. The reason we have her stay here during holiday times of the year (Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter) is because she is free babysitting. Summer and I work whether school is in or not. The kids get 3 weeks for Christmas, and 1 each for Easter and Thanksgiving. She don't have a job so that isn't an issue for her to come over. Summer gets to spend time with her sister. Even though she drives her nuts she is still family and Summer can't stand to have her alone during family gathering times of the year. Besides she only drives us batty after she has been here for awhile. She does love the kids and for the most part does a good job with them. I mainly just don't like house guests for extended stays. That's why we have put our foot down on the subject of her coming to live with us. We made that mistake with my sister and we're not making it again.

So on to the hunting.




My uncle and I hunted together on Sat. morning. It was a really good day. Cold, foggy,slight breeze. It was cold enough to actually have a very thin layer of ice over the pond till about 10:30-11:00. We had birds around almost the whole day. They worked the call good, but wouldn't commit to actually land. But they did come in pretty close quite a few times. I just couldn't hit the broadside of a barn at all. I got 1 little teal for almost an entire box of shells. I'm very embarrassed to type that. It was a good day hunting anyways so I'm not going to dwell on my bad aim.

















Sun. I hunted the same refuge with my cousin. We fared a little better on the shooting averages. But there weren't nearly the amount of birds in the air as Sat. My cousin shot 3 teal and I got 1. But my shell to bird ratio was a lot better. 1-6 for Sun. compared to 1-18 the previous day. We stayed in the blind until about 1 but could have left at 8. We didn't see a single workable birds after the initial morning flight. No fog, and it wasn't nearly as cold as Sat.


The best part of the day was I got home in the evening to find a completely empty house. No one was home. I was able to unload my gear get it cleaned and take a long shower. Trust me when I say that shower was greatly necessary. Especially after 2 days of hunting. I was pretty ripe.

In other great news Summer received an email over the weekend saying that her laptop has been shipped back from the manufacturer. We will once again be allowed to post at will without competing for the internet. I'm expecting it to be here Thu. or Fri. at the latest. I can't wait.

There's other things I want to relate to you all but it just don't fit into this post so I'll try to get to it tomorrow.

*Yes Summer knows that I IM with people over the net. Both male and female. We are both secure enough in our relationship now that it isn't a problem. I really have a hard time talking to people IRL so the net makes it a lot easier for me. Besides it's cool to see how people do things in different parts of the country. I just have a hard time remembering the time difference. I guess there is one down side to being on the west coast. Everyone else is in bed when I'm available to chat.

Hunting pictures

For my first post of today I will post up some pictures I took while out duck hunting yesterday morning. I didn't get any birds. Again. But that's really not the reason that I go hunting. I go out there because it gives me a chance to think about things. I get the opportunity to look at the world and know that somewhere money and other shit don't matter. I also get the opportunity to see sights that many people never get an opportunity to see. So I hope you enjoy these as much as I do.






The mountain range in the back ground is known as the Sutter Buttes. They are a very prominent feature visible for over 100 miles as your driving on I5 through the valley. The land all around is flat rice fields. Except for the buttes.

I have at least one more if not 2 more posts in mind for today so there is more to look forward to.