The lost art of dateing

As I had said in my post about the weekend getaway Miss Kick Ass Rack had hit on a topic that I wanted to discuss, but didn't want to ruin the good points of our weekend away together. In her post she describes an evening out with her husband without the kids. She feels like they have "forgotten how to date". Ironically I felt the same way when Summer and I returned from Reno.

I want to make one thing very clear though before I continue. We did have a wonderful time together. It was relaxing and nice to finally be alone. We really needed the time alone.

Here is the thing though. We really didn't talk much the entire time that we were gone. The drive up was spent listening to the radio. We held hands pretty much the entire time, but conversation was lacking. When we stopped for breakfast at Denny's we sat at the table in silence. Outside of asking if the other was liking the food. Or Summer asking me how my stomach was holding up.

When we got to Reno and got into our room again not much talk. We laid on the bed and almost instantly fell asleep. When we woke up we had a wonderful round of coupling, showered and went down to the casino. We walked around to various places for a little over an hour. Not much talking. Went back to our room and got ready for dinner. While we ate dinner again it was pretty much in silence.

Are you seeing a theme here?

I'll go ahead and spare you the rest of the details.

The point is that somewhere along the line we seem to have forgotten how to carry on a conversation that didn't revolve around the kids. I did feel connected to Summer while we were together but it also felt like something was missing. That something was conversation. It is something that I crave. But it is also something that I have forgotten how to do. There isn't just one of us that is to blame for this. It is both of us. It just seems awkward that with as little time that we do see each other on a regular basis that we have nothing to talk about.' Either we don't want to talk about it because we are on a "date night" (ie. kids, work) or we have already talked about it. How did we ever get to this point? Or maybe a better question would be when have we NOT been at this point.

Like things have always been between us the physical aspect of our relationship while on our getaway was wonderful. As has always been the case throughout our relationship the communication wasn't all that it could have been. In some ways I guess it's a good thing that we have difficulties in communication. It cuts down on the possibilities of an argument. At the same time it frightens me. Our kids won't live with us forever. When the boys move out of the house how will we communicate with each other? I don't want a life of living in the same house with the woman I love and have nothing to talk about. If things go like they have historically for us the sex will be good in the future, but like I said I want more than that. I'm just not sure how to change it.

I like to talk to people. Sometimes. But all the conversations I have are superficial. I don't really have any "deep" talks. That is another regret that I have. When I'm out with my dad whether it be hunting or fishing we have the perfect opportunity to have a meaningful conversation. We always let the chance slip through our grasp though. It's sad really.

For now this is about all I can write. My brain is getting jumbled with thoughts.

It's been quite a long time since I have been here with anything of real substance around here. Honestly I have no good reason for that either. I've been running around pretty busy here lately.

• Things around the house have been on a slight upswing. Youngest moods have seemed to stabilized. He still has his moments but they are getting to be less frequent and when they do occur they aren't lasting as long. At least that is my observation. I'm sure that SR's will be different. He is a totally different child after I go to work and he is alone with her.
  
• Oldest son spent the weekend with my sister last weekend. We went up there for dinner Fri. night and got to meet her new girlfriend.
  
• Since youngest son didn't get to spend the weekend with her Summer and I took him to go see a movie on Sat. evening. We went to go see Ratatouille. It was a pretty good movie. It was also the first movie I ever went to that I walked out in the middle to get the free refill of popcorn. I always buy the big one with free refill but never get the refill. I'm just a sucker.
  
• The movie experience was a good one though. It was his first trip to a movie theatre. He did really well. Sat there the entire movie and watched in silence.
  
• Two weeks ago we went camping at the family reunion. That was a good trip. Although there weren't as many people there as usual. My great uncles family wasn't there this year. He has Alzheimer's and isn't doing very well. They aren't expecting him to last much longer.
  
• Summer and I have been getting along swimmingly lately. I think she's still excited about her new car. Hell I'm still excited over the new car. It's a gas guzzler though. Well let me rephrase that. The mileage is good on it for a V8. It gets the same mileage as the Explorer. So that is actually pretty good. The thing is that it has a 22 gallon tank. Damned expensive to fill. Especially at 3.15 a gallon.
  
• Just a few more days until Summer and I take off for Reno. The trip is going to be great! We're going to Circus Circus for the night. We leave at 8:00 in the morning Sat. and won't be back till Sun. night. I can't wait! So far the itinerary is based on buffet food. We're eating dinner at the El Dorado Sat. night. The we're hitting the Atlantis for their buffet brunch Sun. morning. At some point on the trip we will be hitting Sportsman Warehouse too. I'll be like a little kid in Toy's R Us. It's the hunting/fishing mans toy store. I'm all giddy.
  
• We have nothing else planned for the trip. Except of course hot crazy hotel sex. We might spend a few dollars in a slot machine but that's just for the free drinks.
  
• You know a funny thing happened the other day. Summer was having a bad day and was kinda depressed. I told her that the reason for the depression was due to lack of sex. I told that it is scientifically proven that people that have sex more frequently are less susceptible to depression and are happier in their day to day lives. Since that talk we have had sex 3 times in 36 hours. And guess what? We're both happier people! (I have absolutely nothing to back up what I said.)

• That's all for now. Just dropping in to say that things are going pretty good from my point of view. I can't wait for Reno this weekend.

I know that I need to update on how things went on Fri. afternoons Dr. appointment. But I want to post about something good for a change. Something "happy". I want you all to know that things aren't all doom and gloom around here. We do in fact have some good times here as well. This weekend had a few of those good times packed into it.

On Fri. afternoon my dad made a unannounced visit to the house. Now usually this would send me into a deep well of differing emotions. I mean it was unannounced. The house was a mess. I had just had a very stressful day with Kaiser and dealing with the school. I just was not in the mood for visitors.

But it wasn't bad at all. We sat in the dining room and just talked for awhile. we talked a lot about the things that happened with youngest son the night before. He actually told me that Summer and I are doing a good job with the kids and are doing the best we can with what we have to deal with. It really made me feel good about myself. Especially coming from my dad. He's not really the type of person that talks a lot about stuff like this. So that actually made my night Fri. It has been so long since we had conversation that had meaning to it. Especially that didn't seem forced or anything like that. It was just natural like.

I actually look forward to more talks like this with my dad. Especially knowing my dad and how he is. Things like this don't come the easiest for him. For me either. I don't know how many times I have wanted to start a conversation with my dad but didn't do it. Just because I didn't know how to start the conversation or I was too scared.

First of all I got myself a new camcorder! I'm so stoked about it. Yes. I just said stoked. It is SOOOO cool. It records straight to DVD. The movies it takes come out so clear. It's amazing. It has a killer zoom too. 32X optical, 1000X digital. On Sat. I went to my parents house to help my dad put his new refrigerator inside (what a fiasco that was!) the house. While there I was showing them my new camcorder and showed them the movies I had taken with it. SO my dad starts talking about how nice the picture is and how cool it would be for him to have a camera like that for the trip he is leaving on this Fri. (he and his brother are driving to Alaska for a 6 week fishing trip). So then he tells my mom that he wants a camera exactly like that for his Fathers Day gift. That just made me feel even better about my camera. For once I have something that he wants! It's usually my dad having something that I then decide 'I have to have one of those too!'. Not his time. What moral booster.

Yes. I know I'm weird like that.

Then Sat. night when Summer got home from work her and I spent over an hour at VS looking for new clothes. She ended up using her entire GC that I gave her for her birthday that night. I can't wait for the clothes to get here.

Oh did I mention that we were in bed when we were looking there?

I didn't?

Ok. Well while we were looking at VS we were in bed. Wearing only what we came to this earth with. When we finished looking it led to some amazing adult activities. She was writhing around on the bad for quite some time just from my fingers. When I finally got inside of her it was like she couldn't have me deep enough. We both climaxed together and just collapsed. I couldn't move a muscle. Let me tell you something: I slept like a rock that night! Almost every time Summer saw me on Sun. she would thank me for Sat. and tell me how much she enjoyed herself.

Sun. was a pretty slow day. In fact I can't remember much about what happened on Sun. at all. Summer and the kids went to church. But the rest of the day is pretty much a blank. That is except for the last half hour before I went to work in the afternoon.

I went out to the garage to butcher my hair again. Went in the house and shaved and showered. You know usual before work routine stuff. Then when I got out of the shower Summer was in the room and the door was closed. The kids were in the pool swimming, and Summer kept saying how sexy I was and just sat on the edge of the bed. So I bent over to kiss her. That led to me undressing her. Of course that led to MORE great sex! Except for the fact that her phone kept ringing. Usually this is a bad sign. But not this time. She was as frustrated as me. She just answered and said that she would have to call them back and hung up. We never lost a beat. So that made for a very relaxing night at work last night.

So you see? There are still some good things that happen around here. It's not all doom and gloom. It just seems that the good times are too few and far between right now.

i miss you
i miss feeling your skin close to mine
that fist touch of our lips as we kiss
the feeling of our tongues slowly exploring one another
the way you shiver when i touch a nipple through your bra
or breathe warm breath onto your erect nipples
the feeling of you playing with me as i start to harden in your hands
and seeing the smile on you face
how it makes you so happy that you can make me hard with the slightest touch

i miss the smell of you as i start to undress you
and pull off your panties
as i lay my head on your thigh and take a deep breathe of your womanhood
the way you wiggle around as i slowly run my finger up and down you opening
very light to the touch

i miss the feeling of your wetness
as i ad just a little bit of pressure
you pull me into your warmth

i miss the sounds of pleasure escaping your lips
as i work my finger in and out of you
the way you start to squeeze me with your growing excitement

i miss it when you can't stand the wait any longer
you tell that you must have me inside of you
you need me inside of you
the gasp you let out as i slowly enter
the smile on your face as i am fully inside
the look of passion

i miss feeling you pushing to meet me at each stroke
the sounds that we make together
the sight of you
the scent of you
the love in your eyes

i miss having you tell me that you want me to fill you
to let it go
to let it happen together

i miss the way that we lay together
just holding each other
happy and content
lightly playing with each other
still feeling the orgasms through our bodies

i miss falling asleep with you on my chest
waking up with you still there
playing with your hair
realizing that this right where we both belong
in each others arms

i miss being with you baby and i know that it isnt easy going through the changes
but if we have learned anything in the last few years it is that we can overcome anything and come out stronger for it

I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART!

A "happier" post

As per my amazingly sexy wife's request I am going to put up a "happier" post. Apparently my writings have been sad and/or boorish lately. Thanks a lot babe.

So let's see here......happier posts........what could I possibly write about that is happier?

Work?

Projects?

Kids?

Money?

Sex?

Well I guess I could write about a few of those different subjects.

Since I'm the owner of this here piece of real estate I'm gonna start off by showing pics from my home improvement project for the day. Unfortunately I've only got before pics right now. I'm just too dam tired to take the after pics. But I know that you are all very patient people and don't mind waiting another day don't you.




Pretty bad don't you think? The old sink was just moving around all over the place. The faucet leaked from the top and bottom. The drain under the sink leaked in a few different places. You can see in the last picture just how bad it has been leaking over the years and the damage done to the counter top. That counter top is still in place but only temporarily. We'll be looking at counter tops next Fri. It's just going to be the cheapest one we can find. We were hoping that this one would last for the next 3 years but I'm having my doubts. Why wait that long? We're planning on remodeling the entire kitchen in that period of time. Gonna tear down a wall and build another wall. But that's getting ahead of ourselves here.

The project went well today. Not to many set backs this time. Outside of the fact that I screwed up while cutting the counter top for the new sink. I forgot about the new sink having the corners cut off instead of being squared like I cut the hole. Oops! :D That my friends is why we are looking for a new counter top next weekend. Unless y pops can find a way to fix it tomorrow when he comes over for Summer's Bday cake and gifts.

Mentioning that I can't wait till tomorrow! She is going to be so happy with her gifts. She's gonna want to throw me on the bed and have her way with me as soon as my parents and grandma leave. Yeah right. Who the hell am I kidding here? No one but myself is the correct answer.

Is this happy enough yet dear?

Then there is work. I had the opportunity to get off at 10 the other night and still get paid till midnight. Then work a day shift on Thu. to go to a safety meeting. That was B-O-R-I-N-G! But it gave us a chance to put Thu. night to good use if you know what I mean.

You don't know what I mean?

We had S-E-X! Really good sex at that too. I took my time lightly running my finger up and down her entire body. There wasn't a thing she could do about it either. I was laying on her left arm and had her right wrist held tightly in my left hand. She really liked that. A few years ago? She wouldn't even let the thought of that happening enter the equation at all. So she is really opening up. A little at a time but it is better than being stagnant right?

And lastly I'll go ahead and talk about $$$$.

We got another check in the mail this week from the mortgage company this time. It was because we had a left over amount in the impound account. That same day I found out that when we refinanced the house we did not have to pay the April 1 payment. Which I already did. So now we don't have a payment due until the first of June. Then to top it all off I got my OT check the next day from all the OT I worked last month. 38 hours. It was almost 3/4 of a regular pay check. This is awesome! I can't believe the luck we have been having lately in the money department.

Now before anyone starts to think we are wasting our money, we aren't. I have paid 1,000 on the Visa in the last 8 days. I'll pay another 500 on the first of the month. I paid off one of our credit cards completely. We got Jr. new glasses and are going to get his fillings he needs. Just read the posts lately to see what we're doing with the house. The money came from the house so some of it is going back into the house. then there is Summer's Bday gifts. I got a drive shaft for my truck. Finally! I have been driving around on 5 inch lifted 2 wheel drive sitting on 35" tires for 4 years now. I have 4 wheel drive again! I got a new pump for the pool we got last summer since we burnt the original one up. Also got a chlorine generator this year so we won't have the problem of green water when we return from a vacation this year. So it's not going to waste. Believe me. One last thing on the money front- I have not spent one penny on hunting stuff! It's killing me too. I have been so tempted to get an add on membership to my dads club so we can hunt together this year. Some may think it's a waste. I think it's a major investment in family. I want to try to have a better relationship with my dad and this is something we both enjoy doing together.

That's all for tonight. I'm beat. I do have a topic in mind for my next post but it isn't a "happy" post so Summer won't like it.

:D

Oh yeah!!

And since we are finally getting a date night tonight (the first in so long I can't remember), Let's just go ahead and chalk up another Oh YEAH!! for tonight as well.

My parents are watching the boys over night, we're going to dinner and then a movie. Maybe take a stroll through Victoria's Secret to look for some new bras for the boobies. Then we'll come home and have The Sex. Hopefully more than once.

Have a nice night. I know we will. NOTHING will spoil this. Nothing.

13

13 years ago an amazing thing happened. Summer Rose said 'I do'. We celebrate 13 years of marriage today. I still feel the same today as I did 13 years ago as we drove to Reno to get married. I'm the luckiest man on earth. Never again will I take that for granted.

Summer I love you with all my heart. You are the best thing to ever happen to me and I am thankful for that every day of my life. I just hope I can make you as happy as you have made me.

With all my love.
Jeremy

Well maybe I was over reacting a little bit in my previous post. I don't know. I do know that writing it out did make me feel a little better. I wasn't trying to make Summer look bad. I was just trying to get my feelings out without letting them fester inside me until they come out in a negative way. Like they used to with me blowing things WAY out of proportion and losing my temper.

My favorite blonde reminded me in her comment that I never said what her romantic gift was. I heard about this place on the radio and thought that it was perfect. Real romantic. And unlike flowers, balloons, and other things that fade or die, this would be with us forever. I had a romance novel custom made just for her and I. I got it here at a site called Book by You. If you click there I got her the book called ER Fever. What you do is insert specific information like names, hair color, eye color, etc. and they add it into the story. The book has Summer as the heroine and me as the hero. I even got to add her best friend into the story.

I thought it would be perfect.

She loves to read. Check.

She loves romance novels. Check.

She loves me. Check.

It's romantic and Valentines is about romance. Check.

True she wanted a CD or just some flowers. I got her flowers, and balloons. But the CD just doesn't say I love you, or romantic. I also don't want to go buy a CD at a store when I can get one through Itunes for a lot less. (Yes I know it's not about money.) Lastly I didn't here the CD she wanted till it was too late to go to a store and get it on time. We live in the boonies remember.

Any ways before I sign off for the night I'll leave you with the back cover of the book. It has a picture of Summer and I thought I sent along with the order. Then it has the normal description of the book.

In ER Fever,gifted nurse Summer Rose works side by side with the dashingly
handsome doctor, Confused Husband, saving lives in an action-packed emergency
room. Both have sworn off romance, but even our pair of dedicated professionals
aren't immune to Cupid's spell.... thanks to a little help from Bo and their
trusted friends. Just as CH begins to win the heart of SR, a vengeful former
flame swoops onto the scene threatening not only their budding relationship but
also their careers. With lives on the line, spicy romantic encounters and
drama-filled boardroom showdowns, the high stakes world of ER Fever will get
your temperature rising. Pick up your prescription for passion and catch the
fever!

Well I did it again. Even though I told myself not to. I even promised myself last year that I wouldn't do it ever again. I told Summer for a few weeks that I wasn't going to do it.

Do what?

Get a Valentines present for her. After the debacle that was last year I was through.

Then the day got closer and closer. I realized that it was very petty and child like of me to act in that way. So I found a gift that was very romantic. i thought that this would be the perfect gift. If I were a woman this would be exactly what I would want from the man that loves me.

So I ordered her gift on Mon. Paid extra money to have guaranteed delivery for V-day. That's when the first problem hit. The dam storms back on the east coast delayed the delivery. So much for guaranteed delivery.

It did get here today though. It was delivered to my parents house so that she would not see it. I picked it up and made sure it was the right thing. Came home and presented it to Summer. As is usual for me when I have a gift for her I am excited and happy. Just for the fact that I have a gift for her to show my love. I LOVE to give gifts! She opens it and gets upset. Again! That's 2 years in a row that this has happened.

So why should I bother with giving gifts anymore? Seriously. Our anniversary is in a few weeks, and a few weeks after that is her birthday. But apparently I suck at giving gifts so why bother? Why continue to set myself up for failure and humiliation? All those people that blog about how much V-day sucks and is just for businesses to make money are right. Not even a card next year. I'm DONE!

The greatest wife

I challenge anyone to tell me that they have a greater wife than I do.

Any takers?


Anyone?





No?





Good. I wouldn't want to embarrass anyone.

So why is Summer the greatest wife? Because through all the troubles we have gone through in the past 2 weeks with our children she still has the ability to remain the loving woman I married 12 years ago. Sure there have been many tears shed in the past week over issues that were out of our control but she still has remained strong after the tears have fallen. She still has her faith. That is something that I truly love the most in her. Her faith. I may not be a "believer" in the eyes of many many people. But it don't mean that I have no respect or admiration for those that have an unwavering faith.

So what has she done to make me so happy lately? Let's see here............. For starters she tells me several times a day that she loves me. She gives me hugs, kisses and love, every day when I walk in the door from work. She makes me feel like I'm the best person I can possibly be. She's really turned very playful as of late.

Take yesterday for example. We were sending some text messages to each other. When she sent what she thought was her last one she sent an animation of a person sticking out his tongue. That started an hour and a half text message marathon between the two of us. It lasted until I walked in the door from work. At which point I took her to our bedroom, took off her clothes, laid her on the bed and played wonderful mouth music on her southern regions. Which led to us having wonderful hot animal sex. She even talked dirty to me. Very, VERY HOT!

Afterwards she made me the happiest that I have been in a very long time. She attended my therapy appointment with me last night. Even more importantly she opened up and talked! She talked more in an hour last night than she did for the 7-8 appointments we had in marriage counseling 4 years ago. She even said that she will return to the next one next month. We had a great time last night at the appointment. We both laughed a lot when we were talking. The feeling continued for the rest of the night as we finally started our Christmas shopping. Unfortunately we're not even half way done. We've still got a lot more gifts to buy for the kids, my parents, my sister, my grandma, and a certain diamond ring I've got my eye on for that special someone in my life,. ;-)