Saturday, October 29, 2005
The bad week had a great ending!
Just letting everyone know I'm still here. Things are going pretty good right now. I just came out of bed. ;) The kids are still sleeping so It was a WONDERFUL morning. I'm over my flu now. Well I've got an Explorer to put parts on so I'll let everyone in on the rest of the week when I get some time tonight.
Monday, October 24, 2005
Off to a bad week
Well not trying to be negative but this is starting to be a terrible week. I woke up this morning sick. By the time I got off work (late) I couldn't breathe or swallow. My head is so plugged up right now. I'm going to drink some tea, take some Nyquil and go to bed soon. I just have some things to mention before I take the Nyquil.
First is that the weekend wasn't the greatest here. A police officer was hit by a car full of teenagers on Fri. night. The kids were coming home from a football game and passed on a double yellow line, going head on with one of our local officers on his way home from work. One of the kids died at the scene. The other 3 were airlifted to a hospital. The officer was flown to a hospital where he was pronounced brain dead on Sat. night, and he died yesterday. It was his 26th birthday when he died. To make it worse he got married 3 weeks ago and just returned to work.
We only have a force of 23 officers including chief. We just lost one of them. We are in a small town so it hit the town hard.
On to my wife. She had her meeting with the store owner today. He said that he could have pressed charges against me for yelling at hot bitch over the phone the other day. Here's the thing though- I was not yelling. My voice was raised but I was not yelling. The other thing is that I was not even talking to hot bitch. I was talking to my wife. But the owner said they are not pressing charges (if they want to fine I don't give a shit anyways. They won't get anywhere with it. We could go back and sue the store for sexual harassment over the "happy ending" incident.) They are putting her back on the schedule. Her boss told her to come back to work tonight. She goes in at 4:30 and is back home by 4:45. They said they don't need her tonight and she needs to start next week when the new schedule comes out. This place is really making me mad.
Lastly is something that has been going on for some time now. I mentioned it to my wife the other night and she said she noticed it but didn't want to say anything. I seem to be getting bored very easy anymore. Nothing seems to be getting my interest up lately. That is part of the reason "I have not been posting lately. I still check out all the blogs in my favorites but thats it. I used to spend hours online. Now it just bores me. TV bores me. There's no good books to read any more. I can't wait till Jean M. Auel gets her next book published. But who knows when that will be.
Well it's time to get medicated. :)
First is that the weekend wasn't the greatest here. A police officer was hit by a car full of teenagers on Fri. night. The kids were coming home from a football game and passed on a double yellow line, going head on with one of our local officers on his way home from work. One of the kids died at the scene. The other 3 were airlifted to a hospital. The officer was flown to a hospital where he was pronounced brain dead on Sat. night, and he died yesterday. It was his 26th birthday when he died. To make it worse he got married 3 weeks ago and just returned to work.
We only have a force of 23 officers including chief. We just lost one of them. We are in a small town so it hit the town hard.
On to my wife. She had her meeting with the store owner today. He said that he could have pressed charges against me for yelling at hot bitch over the phone the other day. Here's the thing though- I was not yelling. My voice was raised but I was not yelling. The other thing is that I was not even talking to hot bitch. I was talking to my wife. But the owner said they are not pressing charges (if they want to fine I don't give a shit anyways. They won't get anywhere with it. We could go back and sue the store for sexual harassment over the "happy ending" incident.) They are putting her back on the schedule. Her boss told her to come back to work tonight. She goes in at 4:30 and is back home by 4:45. They said they don't need her tonight and she needs to start next week when the new schedule comes out. This place is really making me mad.
Lastly is something that has been going on for some time now. I mentioned it to my wife the other night and she said she noticed it but didn't want to say anything. I seem to be getting bored very easy anymore. Nothing seems to be getting my interest up lately. That is part of the reason "I have not been posting lately. I still check out all the blogs in my favorites but thats it. I used to spend hours online. Now it just bores me. TV bores me. There's no good books to read any more. I can't wait till Jean M. Auel gets her next book published. But who knows when that will be.
Well it's time to get medicated. :)
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Un-happy anniversary.
Well exactly one year ago today my wife told me that she wanted to leave me. But since then things are doing better so I'll try to let the past be the past.
As far as the ticking time bomb I posted about in my last post it has stopped ticking. I'm not sure why but it has. I'm pretty confident that we can afford the house payments now. My wife is excited about the upcoming interview also. We believe that she will be getting this job. Here's to hoping.
I really don't have much else to write about so this is going to be it for today. I made up for it on Thu. night though when I made 2 posts in 1 day. So good night. I'm going to cook a late dinner.
As far as the ticking time bomb I posted about in my last post it has stopped ticking. I'm not sure why but it has. I'm pretty confident that we can afford the house payments now. My wife is excited about the upcoming interview also. We believe that she will be getting this job. Here's to hoping.
I really don't have much else to write about so this is going to be it for today. I made up for it on Thu. night though when I made 2 posts in 1 day. So good night. I'm going to cook a late dinner.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
In response to a comment from the other day
Wow. I guess I hit a sweet spot or something on the post 'The most beautiful girl in the world'. I got quite a few comments. VH gave me a comment that said "we would love to hear about the great things you and your wife do...your blog doesn't have to be about the fighting. " I would love to post all of the great things we do. But there isn't much that we do that is a "great" thing. At this moment our lives revolve around our boys. We don't do anything really unless it involves our boys. When we do things with them like when we went to Tahoe I posted about it. If we ever get another weekend alone together I will post about that too. I try not to post that all we do is argue. Here is the main reasons that keep me from posting the good things we do. We don't do much together. Here is our typical day:
6:00 am alarm goes off wife gets out of bed and gets in shower (sometimes this happens at 6:20 depending on snooze button.)
6:36 am I get out of bed, get dressed, make my lunch and leave for work by 6:55. I give my wife a hug and kiss before I leave as she is getting dressed.
6:57am I arrive at work.
3:30 pm I get off work and come home.
3:32 pm I walk in the door. As soon as I get home my wife gets back in the shower to get ready for work.
4:20 pm Wife walks out the door for work.
5:00 pm I start cooking dinner.
~6:00 or 6:30 kids and I eat, and do dishes.
7:30 get shower and put kids in bed by 8:00.
8:oo to 9:30 I watch tv and do most of my blogging.
9:45 My wife comes home from work and by 10:00 we are in bed.
That is our life Mon. to Fri. If she is not at work she is doing a massage if we are lucky. (speaking of which it has been over a month since my last massage :-(. ) Sometimes she don't get home from work till 11:00 because she has a massage appointment at her friends house. They trade babysitting for massages sometimes. The reason that we have our schedules this way is so that one of us will be at home with our boys at all times. We don't want someone else to raise them for us. Nothing against people who work and leave their kids with sitters. My parents did that with my sister and I. It is just a choice that we made when we had kids. Even though that may be the cause of most of our financial problems. Although we believe we would be worse off if my wife was working full time and the kids were at a sitter. Most of her checks would then be paying for a sitter instead of household income.
On weekends we usually sleep in till around 9:00. Then we get up and do housework. That is for Sat. On Sun. we sleep till around 8:30 (More truthfully I wake up earlier on a weekend than during the week. I just lay there holding my wife for a few hours. That is my favorite thing about weekends. Those are the mornings when we usually get our "together" time.) Anyways back to Sun. mornings. I get out of bed and start to cook breakfast while my wife is in the shower. We eat then my wife and kids go to church while I stay home and do laundry and the dishes. When they get home around 12:30 we eat lunch if we are hungry after the big late breakfast. Then we sit around the house asking each other what we want to do the rest of the day, till it's to late to do anything then we eat dinner.
So that is how my average week goes. The thing that truly gets to me is that at this moment in life our lives revolve around our kids. I fear that if we keep this up when the kids move out later in life we will have nothing in common. As it is there are days that we really don't say much to each other besides good morning and good night the way our schedules are.
The other thing is that sometimes I feel that ALL we have in common and the only good thing in our lives is the sex. That hurts me in a way. I know Digger and DH might think I'm crazy but I would be willing to give up on the sex we have just to have a better relationship communication wise. I want so badly to have more than just a physical relationship with my wife.
Well this was supposed to be a short and sweet post, but it got to be longer than I planned. So I'm going to go to bed. Good night.
6:00 am alarm goes off wife gets out of bed and gets in shower (sometimes this happens at 6:20 depending on snooze button.)
6:36 am I get out of bed, get dressed, make my lunch and leave for work by 6:55. I give my wife a hug and kiss before I leave as she is getting dressed.
6:57am I arrive at work.
3:30 pm I get off work and come home.
3:32 pm I walk in the door. As soon as I get home my wife gets back in the shower to get ready for work.
4:20 pm Wife walks out the door for work.
5:00 pm I start cooking dinner.
~6:00 or 6:30 kids and I eat, and do dishes.
7:30 get shower and put kids in bed by 8:00.
8:oo to 9:30 I watch tv and do most of my blogging.
9:45 My wife comes home from work and by 10:00 we are in bed.
That is our life Mon. to Fri. If she is not at work she is doing a massage if we are lucky. (speaking of which it has been over a month since my last massage :-(. ) Sometimes she don't get home from work till 11:00 because she has a massage appointment at her friends house. They trade babysitting for massages sometimes. The reason that we have our schedules this way is so that one of us will be at home with our boys at all times. We don't want someone else to raise them for us. Nothing against people who work and leave their kids with sitters. My parents did that with my sister and I. It is just a choice that we made when we had kids. Even though that may be the cause of most of our financial problems. Although we believe we would be worse off if my wife was working full time and the kids were at a sitter. Most of her checks would then be paying for a sitter instead of household income.
On weekends we usually sleep in till around 9:00. Then we get up and do housework. That is for Sat. On Sun. we sleep till around 8:30 (More truthfully I wake up earlier on a weekend than during the week. I just lay there holding my wife for a few hours. That is my favorite thing about weekends. Those are the mornings when we usually get our "together" time.) Anyways back to Sun. mornings. I get out of bed and start to cook breakfast while my wife is in the shower. We eat then my wife and kids go to church while I stay home and do laundry and the dishes. When they get home around 12:30 we eat lunch if we are hungry after the big late breakfast. Then we sit around the house asking each other what we want to do the rest of the day, till it's to late to do anything then we eat dinner.
So that is how my average week goes. The thing that truly gets to me is that at this moment in life our lives revolve around our kids. I fear that if we keep this up when the kids move out later in life we will have nothing in common. As it is there are days that we really don't say much to each other besides good morning and good night the way our schedules are.
The other thing is that sometimes I feel that ALL we have in common and the only good thing in our lives is the sex. That hurts me in a way. I know Digger and DH might think I'm crazy but I would be willing to give up on the sex we have just to have a better relationship communication wise. I want so badly to have more than just a physical relationship with my wife.
Well this was supposed to be a short and sweet post, but it got to be longer than I planned. So I'm going to go to bed. Good night.
We did it!!!!
Well to start of with I'd like to say that I am now officially a homeowner! My wife and I signed the papers to buy our very first house on Tue. night. We will be receiving our money to pay off all the bills and fix my wife's Explorer by Mon. morning. I'm so happy about being a homeowner. Things didn't start off that well while signing the papers though. The lady we have been dealing with told us that the payments were going to be 1,089.24 a month. That was total payment including taxes and insurance. I thought wow that a lot lower than I expected. Then half way through signing I saw a paper saying that the total payment was going to be 1,309.87. I said hold up here I specifically told you that I can not afford anything over 1,250.00 a month total payment. She says oh I'm sorry I didn't see that. Well isn't that her job to see that stuff? So then I spent the next 30 minutes trying to figure if I can afford to make the higher payment. I can here some of you saying that it's only 59.00 more than you expected. Well that 59.00 is a weeks worth of gas. We are paying 2.75 a gallon for the cheapest station in a 50 mile radius. Most of the stations are more like 2.95 a gallon. Or as high as 3.09 a gallon. Anyways long story short we signed the papers and went out to dinner to celebrate.
Things were not all good though on Tue. Before we left to go to my parents house my wifes work called her up. They said why aren't you at work. She said I'm off tonight. They said no you are on the schedule. So I started in the back ground saying she's not coming in to work we are signing papers tonight. My wife started changing clothes to go to work. I started getting really upset. I told her tell the store go screw themselves buying the house is more important. My wife said without the job there is no house. I said yes there is. I made sure that I could buy the house without you when you were talking about leaving me. I made sure that I could afford the payments on my salary alone so there is a house without that F'ing store. I can't remember what else was said. But she ended up not going to work. That store is getting on my last nerves right now. They changed her dam schedule AFTER it was posted WITHOUT consulting her. So that job can go get fucked.
When we got home from the paper signing there was a message on my machine from a students dad wanting to talk to me about my son and his son in school. He is also my leadworkers son-in-law. And that led to some big problems. But this site is NOT about my kids. I'm just telling you this to give insight on my mood the last 3 days.
Then yesterday she gets a call from my Leadworkers wife (from now on to be called the queen bitch) saying don't bother coming to work the rest of the week. The store's owners son wants to meet with you on Mon. morning. Apparently it was queen bitches daughter (now referred to as hot bitch) on the phone calling my wife to come to work. So hot bitch told queen bitch that
I was yelling at her on the phone. I was not yelling at all. I was not even referring to hot bitch. I was referring to the store in general. So now that we signed the papers on Tue. my wife might be losing her job next Mon. I'm over here worrying if we can make the payments now. When I figured making the payments without my wifes income I was also figuring on not buying food for 4 people to as this was planning for if she left me.
So she told me all of this when I came home from work yesterday. She was asking me how are we going to make it if she loses her job. And then started saying things I couldn't understand through the crying. I told her that you are always telling me that God has a plan for us all. We don't know what his plans are until it is time for us to know. So maybe this is in God's plans and you were meant to lose your job now. Just give it time things will work out. We have money in the savings account (for the first time since we got married) and it is enough to get us by for a few months until the massage business picks up more. In the mean time you can study for the National Exam to get licensed throughout the US. We have enough in savings to pay for the test too so don't worry.
Now here's the hard part- convincing myself. I'm trying to be the strong one here but I'm just as scared as she is. I also feel like a hypocrite for preaching to her but it seemed to help for a while. Then she really started crying saying she misses her mom and wants her back. The good part about that (I feel bad for saying good part here) is that she came to me to have me hold her and comfort her. I"t makes it a lot easier to have her cry when I know it's not because of me and she wants me to hold her. (Did I mention in an earlier post that my wife's mom died 2 years ago?) And that was yesterday. We went out to dinner again. Wow 3 times in a week that's a record for us.
So now I feel like I am a time bomb waiting to explode. With all the bad things and good things and stress. I really need to find a release. Duck season opens on Sat. and that usually is my release but this year I'm just not looking forward to duck hunting. Oh my dad told me yesterday that he is selling all of his duck hunting stuff at his garage sale this weekend and that hurts me too. He said he's not sure if he will hunt much this year or next year because of all the stuff he has planned before he retires in March. God I want a cigarette. And I found 5 of them in my garage a few days ago. They are sitting on my bench calling me but I'm trying to ignore them. I did talk to someone last night and that did help to talk to someone on the outside. I'd like to say Than You for being there for me!
Things were not all good though on Tue. Before we left to go to my parents house my wifes work called her up. They said why aren't you at work. She said I'm off tonight. They said no you are on the schedule. So I started in the back ground saying she's not coming in to work we are signing papers tonight. My wife started changing clothes to go to work. I started getting really upset. I told her tell the store go screw themselves buying the house is more important. My wife said without the job there is no house. I said yes there is. I made sure that I could buy the house without you when you were talking about leaving me. I made sure that I could afford the payments on my salary alone so there is a house without that F'ing store. I can't remember what else was said. But she ended up not going to work. That store is getting on my last nerves right now. They changed her dam schedule AFTER it was posted WITHOUT consulting her. So that job can go get fucked.
When we got home from the paper signing there was a message on my machine from a students dad wanting to talk to me about my son and his son in school. He is also my leadworkers son-in-law. And that led to some big problems. But this site is NOT about my kids. I'm just telling you this to give insight on my mood the last 3 days.
Then yesterday she gets a call from my Leadworkers wife (from now on to be called the queen bitch) saying don't bother coming to work the rest of the week. The store's owners son wants to meet with you on Mon. morning. Apparently it was queen bitches daughter (now referred to as hot bitch) on the phone calling my wife to come to work. So hot bitch told queen bitch that
I was yelling at her on the phone. I was not yelling at all. I was not even referring to hot bitch. I was referring to the store in general. So now that we signed the papers on Tue. my wife might be losing her job next Mon. I'm over here worrying if we can make the payments now. When I figured making the payments without my wifes income I was also figuring on not buying food for 4 people to as this was planning for if she left me.
So she told me all of this when I came home from work yesterday. She was asking me how are we going to make it if she loses her job. And then started saying things I couldn't understand through the crying. I told her that you are always telling me that God has a plan for us all. We don't know what his plans are until it is time for us to know. So maybe this is in God's plans and you were meant to lose your job now. Just give it time things will work out. We have money in the savings account (for the first time since we got married) and it is enough to get us by for a few months until the massage business picks up more. In the mean time you can study for the National Exam to get licensed throughout the US. We have enough in savings to pay for the test too so don't worry.
Now here's the hard part- convincing myself. I'm trying to be the strong one here but I'm just as scared as she is. I also feel like a hypocrite for preaching to her but it seemed to help for a while. Then she really started crying saying she misses her mom and wants her back. The good part about that (I feel bad for saying good part here) is that she came to me to have me hold her and comfort her. I"t makes it a lot easier to have her cry when I know it's not because of me and she wants me to hold her. (Did I mention in an earlier post that my wife's mom died 2 years ago?) And that was yesterday. We went out to dinner again. Wow 3 times in a week that's a record for us.
So now I feel like I am a time bomb waiting to explode. With all the bad things and good things and stress. I really need to find a release. Duck season opens on Sat. and that usually is my release but this year I'm just not looking forward to duck hunting. Oh my dad told me yesterday that he is selling all of his duck hunting stuff at his garage sale this weekend and that hurts me too. He said he's not sure if he will hunt much this year or next year because of all the stuff he has planned before he retires in March. God I want a cigarette. And I found 5 of them in my garage a few days ago. They are sitting on my bench calling me but I'm trying to ignore them. I did talk to someone last night and that did help to talk to someone on the outside. I'd like to say Than You for being there for me!
Sunday, October 16, 2005
The most beautiful girl in the world
Have any of you ever heard the song "The most beautiful girl in the world"? After the kids went to bed tonight I decided to help my wife with the dishes. So while we are doing dishes I grabbed her from behind and started to sing that song. Well what do you know. It pissed her off. She got mad at me saying that she is NOT the most beautiful girl in the world. And she wants to know why I keep making up these stupid names for her. For the record I do not make up stupid names for her. I call her pretty, sexy woman, beautiful, or anything that would indicate that she is beautiful.
I just don't get it. I'm not lying when I tell her this stuff. That is the way that I truly feel about her. There are reasons that I feel that way too. Everything about her is beautiful. Her lips, her eyes, her stomach (that is what I love the most about her. Especially her belly button ring. That is a huge turn on for me a pierced navel). I also love the way that she wears absolutely no make up. With all the women on earth that she thinks looks better than her you aren't seeing the real them. You are seeing the made up them. With my wife you are seeing the real her. I'm not trying to say anything bad about those women who do wear make up. It's just not my thing.
I know it's not much of a post but to tell you the truth Now that my wife and I aren't fighting all the time anymore there just isn't much to talk about. I really want to keep my kids out of this Blog. So that doesn't leave much else to write about. I'm not going to take the site down as I like to post here. I just need to try to find a new direction to take this. Or just not try to post such long posts.
I just don't get it. I'm not lying when I tell her this stuff. That is the way that I truly feel about her. There are reasons that I feel that way too. Everything about her is beautiful. Her lips, her eyes, her stomach (that is what I love the most about her. Especially her belly button ring. That is a huge turn on for me a pierced navel). I also love the way that she wears absolutely no make up. With all the women on earth that she thinks looks better than her you aren't seeing the real them. You are seeing the made up them. With my wife you are seeing the real her. I'm not trying to say anything bad about those women who do wear make up. It's just not my thing.
I know it's not much of a post but to tell you the truth Now that my wife and I aren't fighting all the time anymore there just isn't much to talk about. I really want to keep my kids out of this Blog. So that doesn't leave much else to write about. I'm not going to take the site down as I like to post here. I just need to try to find a new direction to take this. Or just not try to post such long posts.
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Yesterdays Roller Coaster Ride
Yesterday was full of emotional ups and downs. I started off ok. Then my Overtime check came in. With 5 hours I hadn't counted on. Things were looking up. Then my wife called me around 10 and said she might get fired. Uh-Oh. Things are going down. As the conversation went on things got worse. I'd like to say that it's a good thing my wife don't have my temper or she would definitely not have a job. Her boss screwed up her schedule when I was on vacation. She requested to work Mon. Wed. and Fri. from 12:30 to 6:00. She had a sitter arranged for the kids from that time. Instead they schedule her for her regular hours of 4:30 to 9:30. Not a big deal we still had a sitter. Then on Sat. they called her and told her they need her to work for someone who called in sick due to Homecoming. So she said ok and worked from 1:00 to 9:30 on her day off. My mom watched the kids. (side note: The dam kid new about Homecoming MONTHS ago. He did NOT request it off. Instead he calls in sick so he can go to the dance. I would have fired his High School lazy ASS!!!!(There goes my temper again)).
Then the problem started. They put her to work in the days this week. Mon. was ok I was home from work as it was a state holiday. Then her relief person comes in and has a dislocated shoulder. So they ask her to work till closing time. She says fine. She worked 12:30 to 9:30. Then they schedule her to work on Tue. She NEVER works on Tue. So that is the day I call in sick. She works from 12:30 to 6:00. Then had 2 massages at 6:30.
So now that brings us to yesterday. She calls up and tells them that she don't have a babysitter for the kids. They want her to work from 12:30 to 6:00. She has 3 supervisors say thats ok. You can come in from 4:30 to 9:30 like normal. But no! My bosses wife says "I already have a closer. If you can't come in at 12:30 to 6:00 we will have to fire you." After all the shit she did for them. She has worked there for 4 years and only called in sick 2 times, and both times had a Dr. note. EVERY time they ask her to come in on a day off she does. She has bent over backwards for this dam store. So when she called and told me what they said I instantly went into attack mode. (I only have 2 modes with my temper. It's either ON or OFF. Thats why we have had problems in our marriage.) I told her to tell her boss to go Fuck herself (in front of MY boss as he was standing next to me and at first we were on speaker phone). They screwed up the schedule. You don't need to work for them anymore. Tell her and everyone else there to go fuck themselves. In fact I'll go and tell them myself (I would have to. At that point I didn't care.). She said no she will try to find a babysitter first. So she calls back 30 minutes later and says she has a babysitter for the boys and by-the-way they want her to work the same schedule today. So that means babysitter this afternoon too.
That is the thing that really pisses me off. We work our schedules so that both of us can work and still have at least one of us at home with the boys all the time. So now we have to pay for a G%^ D%^&M babysitter. It cost us $50.00 for the past 2 days of babysitting. She only made $67.00 working both days. Now don't get me wrong here. I'm not trying to put down the money that my wife makes. If it weren't for the money she makes we would be bouncing checks every month. It is just that when she makes 67 bucks (pre tax) and we have to pay 50 bucks for childcare we lose money, so what is the point of her working? But at least she still has her job. Good thing she thinks before she acts. I really need to learn how to do that.
So things are looking better her work thing is figured out. I'm now just stewing over it. When I came back to the yard at the end of the day things were EXCELLENT! We received checks that the union told us we would get a year ago but never did. We thought it was the union blowing smoke up our asses. Then it came. 1 years worth of back pay for the money the state was taking out of our checks for medical. I got 1100 yesterday. Of course Uncle Sam and the Governator took there fair share. I took home $800. That is on top of the OT check from the morning. So I was on cloud 9 so to speak. I called my wife at work and told her about the money and asked her if she wanted to go out to dinner. She said it sounds ok, we'll figure out where when I get home this evening. Things were really good now.
When she got home last night the boys and I were all dressed and ready to go. She still needed a shower so the youngest and I went to the store to buy some flowers for her. We got 2 bunches of flowers and a card for her and gave them to her when she got out of the shower. Then things went down hill again.
My wife was happy about the flowers, but I could tell something was wrong. So I asked her about it. She didn't feel like going out because there was too much to do at home. We went back and forth for a few minutes and I said if you want to go out with the boys and me come out when you get dressed, I'll be on the computer. I came to the living room and felt like breaking down but couldn't. My stomach was all knotted up, My throat was tight and I could feel the moment of needing to cry but it never came.
She did come out and we went to a nice restaurant in town. It was actually a nice evening. Our youngest actually behaved himself. No screaming, running, climbing on tables etc. (Yes my son is the one that all the other people complain about.) Hence the reason that we DO NOT go out to dinner very often. In fact the last time was when we were in Tahoe. The time before that was about a year ago. But last night he was great. Until dinner was done. Then he wanted to go see the water. So we missed out on dessert so he could see the water on the balcony of the restaurant. The dinner was nice. I actually ordered drinks for myself and a virgin daquerie for my wife, appetizer, and didn't worry about how much the food cost. I am never like that. We always drink water cause it's free, and never get appetizers. We went home after dinner and went to bed as it was late. That was it.
This morning when I woke up my wife was in the shower so I stayed in bed till she got out. She came over and sat next to me as she finished drying off. I was in my normal physical state when she sat there naked so I sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her over to sit on my lap facing me. She said you're going to be late and I just got out of the shower. I said I don't want to make love to you. I just want to feel you. So she lowered herself onto me and we just sat there for a few minutes not moving and just holding each other. It was .......well...... wonderful! Just feeling her without making love. I got up and went to work. This was the best work day I've had in a long time.
My wife will kill me if she reads this post.
Then the problem started. They put her to work in the days this week. Mon. was ok I was home from work as it was a state holiday. Then her relief person comes in and has a dislocated shoulder. So they ask her to work till closing time. She says fine. She worked 12:30 to 9:30. Then they schedule her to work on Tue. She NEVER works on Tue. So that is the day I call in sick. She works from 12:30 to 6:00. Then had 2 massages at 6:30.
So now that brings us to yesterday. She calls up and tells them that she don't have a babysitter for the kids. They want her to work from 12:30 to 6:00. She has 3 supervisors say thats ok. You can come in from 4:30 to 9:30 like normal. But no! My bosses wife says "I already have a closer. If you can't come in at 12:30 to 6:00 we will have to fire you." After all the shit she did for them. She has worked there for 4 years and only called in sick 2 times, and both times had a Dr. note. EVERY time they ask her to come in on a day off she does. She has bent over backwards for this dam store. So when she called and told me what they said I instantly went into attack mode. (I only have 2 modes with my temper. It's either ON or OFF. Thats why we have had problems in our marriage.) I told her to tell her boss to go Fuck herself (in front of MY boss as he was standing next to me and at first we were on speaker phone). They screwed up the schedule. You don't need to work for them anymore. Tell her and everyone else there to go fuck themselves. In fact I'll go and tell them myself (I would have to. At that point I didn't care.). She said no she will try to find a babysitter first. So she calls back 30 minutes later and says she has a babysitter for the boys and by-the-way they want her to work the same schedule today. So that means babysitter this afternoon too.
That is the thing that really pisses me off. We work our schedules so that both of us can work and still have at least one of us at home with the boys all the time. So now we have to pay for a G%^ D%^&M babysitter. It cost us $50.00 for the past 2 days of babysitting. She only made $67.00 working both days. Now don't get me wrong here. I'm not trying to put down the money that my wife makes. If it weren't for the money she makes we would be bouncing checks every month. It is just that when she makes 67 bucks (pre tax) and we have to pay 50 bucks for childcare we lose money, so what is the point of her working? But at least she still has her job. Good thing she thinks before she acts. I really need to learn how to do that.
So things are looking better her work thing is figured out. I'm now just stewing over it. When I came back to the yard at the end of the day things were EXCELLENT! We received checks that the union told us we would get a year ago but never did. We thought it was the union blowing smoke up our asses. Then it came. 1 years worth of back pay for the money the state was taking out of our checks for medical. I got 1100 yesterday. Of course Uncle Sam and the Governator took there fair share. I took home $800. That is on top of the OT check from the morning. So I was on cloud 9 so to speak. I called my wife at work and told her about the money and asked her if she wanted to go out to dinner. She said it sounds ok, we'll figure out where when I get home this evening. Things were really good now.
When she got home last night the boys and I were all dressed and ready to go. She still needed a shower so the youngest and I went to the store to buy some flowers for her. We got 2 bunches of flowers and a card for her and gave them to her when she got out of the shower. Then things went down hill again.
My wife was happy about the flowers, but I could tell something was wrong. So I asked her about it. She didn't feel like going out because there was too much to do at home. We went back and forth for a few minutes and I said if you want to go out with the boys and me come out when you get dressed, I'll be on the computer. I came to the living room and felt like breaking down but couldn't. My stomach was all knotted up, My throat was tight and I could feel the moment of needing to cry but it never came.
She did come out and we went to a nice restaurant in town. It was actually a nice evening. Our youngest actually behaved himself. No screaming, running, climbing on tables etc. (Yes my son is the one that all the other people complain about.) Hence the reason that we DO NOT go out to dinner very often. In fact the last time was when we were in Tahoe. The time before that was about a year ago. But last night he was great. Until dinner was done. Then he wanted to go see the water. So we missed out on dessert so he could see the water on the balcony of the restaurant. The dinner was nice. I actually ordered drinks for myself and a virgin daquerie for my wife, appetizer, and didn't worry about how much the food cost. I am never like that. We always drink water cause it's free, and never get appetizers. We went home after dinner and went to bed as it was late. That was it.
This morning when I woke up my wife was in the shower so I stayed in bed till she got out. She came over and sat next to me as she finished drying off. I was in my normal physical state when she sat there naked so I sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her over to sit on my lap facing me. She said you're going to be late and I just got out of the shower. I said I don't want to make love to you. I just want to feel you. So she lowered herself onto me and we just sat there for a few minutes not moving and just holding each other. It was .......well...... wonderful! Just feeling her without making love. I got up and went to work. This was the best work day I've had in a long time.
My wife will kill me if she reads this post.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
She's in heat!
No not my wife. What are you people thinking? My wifes cat. She's about 7 months old and came into heat when I was gone. She now won't let me out of her sight. She follows me every where and when I stop moving she is rubbing up against me and sticking her ass in the air. If only my wife would give me that kind of attention. ;) My wife says that I am making things worse. I am constantly meowing to the cat when she is following me. So I called some vets today. Holy shit! They want between 95 and 130 dollars to get her fixed. It needs to be done but I had no idea it would be that expensive. I wonder if I can do it myself? Just kidding. My wife already got mad at me for suggesting that this morning.
My wife just read over my shoulder and started laughing. She said that will never happen. I said what. She said me giving you that kind of attention. Oh well. A guy can dream.
My wife just read over my shoulder and started laughing. She said that will never happen. I said what. She said me giving you that kind of attention. Oh well. A guy can dream.
Just another day
Well I did it. I called in with the flu this morning. It was actually a good thing too. Apparently the dryer went out when I was gone. It was squeaking really loud. Loud enough for the neighbor to complain about the noise. I took it apart and assumed that the problem was the belt. But you know what they say happens when you assume. So I drove into town to get a new belt. When I got to the appliance store they said that the belt was fine and that the bearings were worn out. I thought ok. You can tell this without even looking at the machine. But I didn't drive 40 miles round trip to come home empty handed. So I bought the parts. $50.00 When I came home I took the dryer apart even more. Well what do you know. The bearings were shot. I put it back together and no squeak. I'm just a regular repair man now. If it's broke I can fix anything! Except the problems with that dam Exploder.
Other than that the day was pretty dam boring. My wife worked and then after work she had 2 massages. She got home about 30 minutes ago. We are still waiting to sign papers on the house. I'm getting tired of waiting. We were supposed to sign the papers the day I came home from vacation. Now we have to wait till Fri. I want to be a home owner.
Other than that the day was pretty dam boring. My wife worked and then after work she had 2 massages. She got home about 30 minutes ago. We are still waiting to sign papers on the house. I'm getting tired of waiting. We were supposed to sign the papers the day I came home from vacation. Now we have to wait till Fri. I want to be a home owner.
Monday, October 10, 2005
I'm back!
Well I finally came home yesterday. It was a good vacation. But it was also a long vacation. I couldn't wait to get back home. My dad and I hunted deer from Sun. morning till Fri. morning. We saw 1 buck the whole trip on the first hunt day. It just finished snowing on the mountain next to us so I was taking pictures of the first snow. We drove 50 yards and there was a forked horn buck standing 40 feet from the truck. By the time I recognized it as a legal deer he jumped over the brush to never be seen again. We did see on average 15 does a day. Most of them we could set our watches by them. They were in the same place at the same time every day. It was cold on the mountain we were hunting for the first few days. We were waking up and it was 36 degrees in the tent. By Tue. it was warming up to being 42 when we woke up. We went into town on Tue. to take showers. It cost $5.00 for the shower but it was the best 5 bucks I ever spent.
On Fri. we drove over to Tule Lake for the opener of goose season. The first goose hunt of the season was simply amazing. My dad got a bird with the first shot of the season. That's the first time I've ever seen him do that. He got a Speckle Belly. He also got the next bird a Canada goose. That thing was HUGE! So he limited out on dark geese in 1 hour. While me I missed on my first 3 shots of the day. Finally I got my bird. I shot my first Canadian Honker. I've waited my whole life to get one of those birds. That one bird will feed my family at least 2 meals. Plus my dad gave me his birds too. That was it for the day. We left with 2 birds. We passed on a lot of ducks but I didn't travel 380 miles for ducks. I can shoot ducks all season long here on the delta. But we don't get many Honkers here. Sun. we only hunted for 1.5 hours and we packed up. We had been gone for along time and had a 7 hour drive to get home.
The trip was great as I've already said. The only part that I wasn't to crazy about was listening to counrty music the whole time. But now as I'm typing I've got the radio on to country music and my wife isn't even home. Some of the songs are really good at explaining things I want to say. Others are good at explaining my wifes point of view. There was even one song that made me get to the point where I was ready to cry. Don't know who sings it but it is about a girl who has cancer and loses her hair before prom and her date shaved his head. It's called some thing like 'Sabath is scared today' or something like that. If I can find the video's to some of them I might post them on the site. Not sure yet though.
So I got to my house at 6 last night. My wife had dinner ready when I got home. God I love that woman. I unpacked after dinner showed the kids the pictures I took while on the trip and went to bed about 10:30. Of course we didn't get to sleep till after 1 in the morning. We had the most amazing session of making love that we have had in a long time. The best thing was that even after not touching each other in 9 days we went real slow. When we finally released I couldn't tell you when I came that hard before. Except possibly when I came home from Basic Training.
This morning she let me sleep till 9, and when I woke up she had gone to the store and bought some donughts for breakfast and gave me a glass of OJ. She is even asking me to stay home from work tomorrow. So I think that I feel a case of the flu coming on. *cough cough*. Other than that nothing much is happening. It's good to be home. Just wish the kids would stop yelling at each other.
My wife said she didn't really miss me to much. She says she even sleeps better without me. I guess it is a lot quieter without me snoring. Although I don't think I could be worse than my dad. WOW! In a tent thats just to much. I don't know how my mom does it. Well whether she missed me or not if she wants me home tommorow I won't let her down. She wants me home 2 days in a row. It's amazing.
On Fri. we drove over to Tule Lake for the opener of goose season. The first goose hunt of the season was simply amazing. My dad got a bird with the first shot of the season. That's the first time I've ever seen him do that. He got a Speckle Belly. He also got the next bird a Canada goose. That thing was HUGE! So he limited out on dark geese in 1 hour. While me I missed on my first 3 shots of the day. Finally I got my bird. I shot my first Canadian Honker. I've waited my whole life to get one of those birds. That one bird will feed my family at least 2 meals. Plus my dad gave me his birds too. That was it for the day. We left with 2 birds. We passed on a lot of ducks but I didn't travel 380 miles for ducks. I can shoot ducks all season long here on the delta. But we don't get many Honkers here. Sun. we only hunted for 1.5 hours and we packed up. We had been gone for along time and had a 7 hour drive to get home.
The trip was great as I've already said. The only part that I wasn't to crazy about was listening to counrty music the whole time. But now as I'm typing I've got the radio on to country music and my wife isn't even home. Some of the songs are really good at explaining things I want to say. Others are good at explaining my wifes point of view. There was even one song that made me get to the point where I was ready to cry. Don't know who sings it but it is about a girl who has cancer and loses her hair before prom and her date shaved his head. It's called some thing like 'Sabath is scared today' or something like that. If I can find the video's to some of them I might post them on the site. Not sure yet though.
So I got to my house at 6 last night. My wife had dinner ready when I got home. God I love that woman. I unpacked after dinner showed the kids the pictures I took while on the trip and went to bed about 10:30. Of course we didn't get to sleep till after 1 in the morning. We had the most amazing session of making love that we have had in a long time. The best thing was that even after not touching each other in 9 days we went real slow. When we finally released I couldn't tell you when I came that hard before. Except possibly when I came home from Basic Training.
This morning she let me sleep till 9, and when I woke up she had gone to the store and bought some donughts for breakfast and gave me a glass of OJ. She is even asking me to stay home from work tomorrow. So I think that I feel a case of the flu coming on. *cough cough*. Other than that nothing much is happening. It's good to be home. Just wish the kids would stop yelling at each other.
My wife said she didn't really miss me to much. She says she even sleeps better without me. I guess it is a lot quieter without me snoring. Although I don't think I could be worse than my dad. WOW! In a tent thats just to much. I don't know how my mom does it. Well whether she missed me or not if she wants me home tommorow I won't let her down. She wants me home 2 days in a row. It's amazing.
Friday, September 30, 2005
Farewell! :)
Well it is time to bid you all farewell. At least for the next 8 days. I am leaving in the morning for my trip with my dad. Just got the final things packed. I will not be back until Oct. 9th. My wife can not wait till I leave. She says that she will be able to sleep much better without me here snoring. I guess I need to give my CPAP machine another try when I return. I'm so excited to leave and be alone in the wilderness. We will be hunting about 1.5 hours away from civilization on the Oregon border. The only down side is the 13 hour drive there. That and I don't know if I can go 8 days without checking email and my online reading. See you in 8 days!
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Unsolicited advice
Digger made a few comments on his site about my financial situation. Just thought I'd share my response to him. It may help somone. Here is the original post from Digger on debt and here is my response
Wow you said a lot there. You pretty much have it right about what we are doing. Here's the whole plan.
My parents own the house we are buying. We have been living in it for 5 years. The house appraises for 389k. We are buying it for 270k. My parents are taking 100k for themselves. That is the price we are buying it from my parents for. Because we are buying the houde with 120k in equity my wife and I are getting 25k back at the close of escrow. We are using that money to pay off our credit card, my student loan, and my wifes Exploder. We will have approx. 3k left over. We were going to use that to do some needed repairs to the house. Now we are going to use that left over cash to repair the Exploder and hope that it lasts us another 2 years. Then we will probably be buying a coworkers mini van to use as a backup incase the Exploder explodes.
Now the reason we are paying all these things off with the equity in the house is because we can not afford the payments if we still have those bills. It really has nothing to do with taxes.
Now for the details of how we are buying the house. Just incase someone out there is in the same situation. We will be actully refinancing the house. My parents are refinancing the house and putting my wife and I on the deed. In a year from now we will refinance again and take my parents off the deed. Then to keep from paying a huge gift tax on the house for my wife and my parts, and on my parents part for the 100k, we will fill out a special tax form that says that the house will be coming off of my inheritance. Therefore making it taxfree. We are getting a portion of my inheritance before my parents die. This info came from a tax person in S.F. EACH parent can give EACH child a tax free inheritance of 3 mil. The house will just come off of my 3mil.
To me this seems to be the best way to do this given our financial situation. Untill the Governator decides to give state workers their first cost of living raise in over 9 years.
CH
If you can't tell I'm in no way a fan Arnold. Can't stand him. He's trying to cut my wages and give state workers 5 days off per year UNPAID! Fuck you governator!
Wow you said a lot there. You pretty much have it right about what we are doing. Here's the whole plan.
My parents own the house we are buying. We have been living in it for 5 years. The house appraises for 389k. We are buying it for 270k. My parents are taking 100k for themselves. That is the price we are buying it from my parents for. Because we are buying the houde with 120k in equity my wife and I are getting 25k back at the close of escrow. We are using that money to pay off our credit card, my student loan, and my wifes Exploder. We will have approx. 3k left over. We were going to use that to do some needed repairs to the house. Now we are going to use that left over cash to repair the Exploder and hope that it lasts us another 2 years. Then we will probably be buying a coworkers mini van to use as a backup incase the Exploder explodes.
Now the reason we are paying all these things off with the equity in the house is because we can not afford the payments if we still have those bills. It really has nothing to do with taxes.
Now for the details of how we are buying the house. Just incase someone out there is in the same situation. We will be actully refinancing the house. My parents are refinancing the house and putting my wife and I on the deed. In a year from now we will refinance again and take my parents off the deed. Then to keep from paying a huge gift tax on the house for my wife and my parts, and on my parents part for the 100k, we will fill out a special tax form that says that the house will be coming off of my inheritance. Therefore making it taxfree. We are getting a portion of my inheritance before my parents die. This info came from a tax person in S.F. EACH parent can give EACH child a tax free inheritance of 3 mil. The house will just come off of my 3mil.
To me this seems to be the best way to do this given our financial situation. Untill the Governator decides to give state workers their first cost of living raise in over 9 years.
CH
If you can't tell I'm in no way a fan Arnold. Can't stand him. He's trying to cut my wages and give state workers 5 days off per year UNPAID! Fuck you governator!
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
And it's a new day
So after I was done posting last night I gave my wife a hot bath. Lit some candles, and let her soak for awhile. While she was soaking I put a towel in the dryer to heat it up. I went back to the bathroom and washed my wife off and let her soak more while I got the towel from the garage. I dried her off and laid her in bed and gave her a back massage. She was so emotionally drained from the day. We both were. So we went to sleep just holding each other. I love moments like that.
So today I was at work and a guy I work with says his kid that is getting divorced is selling a mini van for 1500. Talked to my wife about it and she got mad at me because 1) its a Ford and she hates Ford (her uncle retired from Chevy, mine retired from Ford.) & 2) she hates mini vans. Again I told her we are not in a position to be picky. She started yelling at me so I hung up on her. I sent her a text to call me when she's wants to talk not yell. She called back 5 minutes later and she still was not happy but at least she was not yelling. Side note here for years I have yelled at her for things like she is yelling at me for. I'm trying to get to a point now where we can talk to each other without turning things into a yelling and pissing match. God I hate the things I've done to her in the past. So when I came home after work she was singing a different tune. She said that she would be willing to look at the mini van because of what a friend told her. Her friend said she had a dream 2 months ago that my wife would be driving a mini van soon. Not that I believe in that sort of thing but it made my wife happy about at least looking at it so I'll go for it.
It's not like I am going to buy the van anyways. I'm just going to look at it. I'm thinking now that I might fix the Explorer for the 1500, and hope we can make it last for the next 18 months or so till we can be picky about what we drive. Also if we have money left over buy the mini van to keep as a back up vehicle if something happens to the Eploder.
I just hope that I'm making the right decision to fix this car instead of get rid of it. I don't like the idea of paying it off for 6000 then trade it in for 2500 or less. Thats just to much of a loss. Though its not like we haven't already lost enough money to this P.O.S. I can't wait for Sat. morning to go on vacation.
So today I was at work and a guy I work with says his kid that is getting divorced is selling a mini van for 1500. Talked to my wife about it and she got mad at me because 1) its a Ford and she hates Ford (her uncle retired from Chevy, mine retired from Ford.) & 2) she hates mini vans. Again I told her we are not in a position to be picky. She started yelling at me so I hung up on her. I sent her a text to call me when she's wants to talk not yell. She called back 5 minutes later and she still was not happy but at least she was not yelling. Side note here for years I have yelled at her for things like she is yelling at me for. I'm trying to get to a point now where we can talk to each other without turning things into a yelling and pissing match. God I hate the things I've done to her in the past. So when I came home after work she was singing a different tune. She said that she would be willing to look at the mini van because of what a friend told her. Her friend said she had a dream 2 months ago that my wife would be driving a mini van soon. Not that I believe in that sort of thing but it made my wife happy about at least looking at it so I'll go for it.
It's not like I am going to buy the van anyways. I'm just going to look at it. I'm thinking now that I might fix the Explorer for the 1500, and hope we can make it last for the next 18 months or so till we can be picky about what we drive. Also if we have money left over buy the mini van to keep as a back up vehicle if something happens to the Eploder.
I just hope that I'm making the right decision to fix this car instead of get rid of it. I don't like the idea of paying it off for 6000 then trade it in for 2500 or less. Thats just to much of a loss. Though its not like we haven't already lost enough money to this P.O.S. I can't wait for Sat. morning to go on vacation.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
The shit keeps piling up
*********Disclaimer************
Be forewarned that I am very pissed at the moment so there will be an overabundance of "F" bombs in this post. If this type of language offends you I'll pretend to be sorry. But right now I'm in to bad of a mood to give a Fuck!!!!!
So this turned out to be a really fucked up day. When I changed the oil in my wifes Explorer on Sun. I noticed antifreeze all over the underside of the engine. I thought well ok, it's probably just a worn out freeze plug. So I had my wife take her truck to the shop this morning. She calls me up crying so bad that I can barely understand what she is saying. It turns out that what I thought was a minor problem turned into a major fucking money dump. It has a blown head gasket, a hole in the radiator, and a pinhole leak in 2 different radiator hoses.
(Will this fucking day ever end. I started this at about 6pm. It is now 8pm. I stopped for dinner and dishes. It just keeps going just like the Energizer Bunny.)
So I get the info from her and ask how much it will cost. She says she will call back when they get an estimate. Now I'm going to say this now- I trust my mechanic very much. We have been going to him for almost 4 years now. He is a good guy and has been trying to get us to sell this vehicle for 3 years now. He treats us very good. He gives us all the parts we buy at his cost. No mark up. If a job takes 6 hours to do he only charges 3.5-4 hours. Every time I go to him I bring him a 36 pack of beer when the job is done. He has even offered to take me fishing on his boat. (he should do that I helped him buy the boat with all the business I send him through my cars and friends that I send his way).
Anyways she calls me back 45 minutes later and I can't understand a single word she is saying. Finally she just tells me to go to the shop after work. That gets me all worked up. Not angry but worried. So by the time I came back to my yard at lunch time I was not in a good mood. So my Leadworker starts telling me stuff that my supervisor has said during the day before he left early to go home. He really got me pissed. I had an idea yesterday and my boss turned it down for no reason. It would have made our job easier. He said no. So today he tells us to do what I suggested yesterday but in a different way. I wanted to take some stuff out of a dump truck by dumping it into the bucket of a front end loader. Then dump the bucket into the dumpster. He said NO! Today he tells us to take the stuff from the dumptruck and put it into the dumpster by using shovels. It will save time he says. Oh My Fucking God! My way would have taken 3 minutes tops. He wants us to shovel this stuff out by hand. Taking roughly 30 minutes. I told my leadworker that my boss was smoking crack and he needed to go fuck himself. To which he replied you can't say stuff like that around me (Because technically he needs to report me for it as workplace violence. Not because he agrees with the boss which he don't). I said watch me J____ is on crack and needs to go fuck himself. Nothing came out of it. The job did not get done as my leadworker made up another job for us instead.
So I got off work and went to the shop. I was told that I really need to sell that vehicle now. As a rough estimate it will cost between 1500 and 2000. That is without reworking the heads. If they are warped it will go up more. I just love how dependent we have become on cars now.
After leaving the shop I come home and my wife is apologizing to me like she did something wrong. (she still is and I don't know why). I told her its not her fault. The truck is just a piece of shit. We bought it in July of 2001. In Dec we put a new tranny in it for 3000. 1 year later the heater core goes out. 700. 6 months later the head gasket goes out. 900. 1 year later the other tranny goes out. Another 3000. Then last summer we had starting problems the whole summer. The shop worked on it all summer but could not find the problem. Didn't charge us for any of the work. the whole summer until they were sure it was fixed. Finally they found the problem. The Anti-theft relay was bad. It would cost 700 to replace it or they would bypass it for a case of beer. They were trying to diagnose the problem for over 80 hours and only charged me a case of beer. The problem would go away as soon as we would get it to the shop. And stay away for 2 weeks at a time. Finally the shop would start coming to us where ever we were broke down at. That's how they found the problem.
Any how I went to the chevy dealer in town to talk to them. Unfortunately my wife talked to a friend that works there and told them the problem with the vehicle. Good Bye trade in. So I'm went to the Dodge dealer and talked to him. I went out with the sole purpose of getting options. Nothing more. I came home talked to my wife and she got pissed at me because she hates Dodge. I told her that we are NOT in a position to be picky. We need to take what we can get. They have a Neon that is 1 year old with 10k miles on it that we might be able to afford. But I was just getting options. She then got upset with me about the fact that she only wants to look at Chevy's or Saturns. Again I told her that we aren't in a position to be choosey. She went on more about the issue so I told her I needed to walk away. We were both getting angry and I didn't want to fight. So I went to my comfort zone. The Blogs.
After dinner we talked a little more but the kids kept interrupting. She is still crying and is very upset. I'm feeling like failure for not being able to keep us in a situation where we have a decent car. To top it all off we can't afford to fix the car. And we can't afford to buy a new one. The Explorer will be paid off as soon as we sign papers on the house. (that's another thing. I called the lady we have been dealing with today to see how the loan is coming along. She said that the lending company is behind on the paper work and it will be at least another week. It has already been 2 weeks since the lender received the papers from us. So my dad wants me to call the lady and get the appraisal from her and tell her that if we don't have papers to sign by Fri. night we will find someone else. I feel wrong for doing that so I haven't done it yet.) Back to the car. We will be paying it off when we buy the house. When we close escrow my wife and I will receive a check for 25000 to pay off student loans, credit cards, and the Explorer. With maybe 1000 left over. We are paying all this off just so we can manage to make the house payments. Where did I go wrong? Actually I think I have a problem that I read about on Space of Dysfunction. We tried to keep up with the Jones's and we have been living outside our means for years and it is starting to bite us in the ass now.
So that is my fucked up day. I'm still pissed at the way things are going in life. I'm waiting for my wife to get our youngest to sleep and I'm going to put her in the bath tub. And taking some advice from Venting Houswife I'm going to put some candles around the tub, let my wife soak for a while then I'm going to wash her off and got to bed. Unfortunately we have no bubble bath for her soak in. I just want this day to end.
Be forewarned that I am very pissed at the moment so there will be an overabundance of "F" bombs in this post. If this type of language offends you I'll pretend to be sorry. But right now I'm in to bad of a mood to give a Fuck!!!!!
So this turned out to be a really fucked up day. When I changed the oil in my wifes Explorer on Sun. I noticed antifreeze all over the underside of the engine. I thought well ok, it's probably just a worn out freeze plug. So I had my wife take her truck to the shop this morning. She calls me up crying so bad that I can barely understand what she is saying. It turns out that what I thought was a minor problem turned into a major fucking money dump. It has a blown head gasket, a hole in the radiator, and a pinhole leak in 2 different radiator hoses.
(Will this fucking day ever end. I started this at about 6pm. It is now 8pm. I stopped for dinner and dishes. It just keeps going just like the Energizer Bunny.)
So I get the info from her and ask how much it will cost. She says she will call back when they get an estimate. Now I'm going to say this now- I trust my mechanic very much. We have been going to him for almost 4 years now. He is a good guy and has been trying to get us to sell this vehicle for 3 years now. He treats us very good. He gives us all the parts we buy at his cost. No mark up. If a job takes 6 hours to do he only charges 3.5-4 hours. Every time I go to him I bring him a 36 pack of beer when the job is done. He has even offered to take me fishing on his boat. (he should do that I helped him buy the boat with all the business I send him through my cars and friends that I send his way).
Anyways she calls me back 45 minutes later and I can't understand a single word she is saying. Finally she just tells me to go to the shop after work. That gets me all worked up. Not angry but worried. So by the time I came back to my yard at lunch time I was not in a good mood. So my Leadworker starts telling me stuff that my supervisor has said during the day before he left early to go home. He really got me pissed. I had an idea yesterday and my boss turned it down for no reason. It would have made our job easier. He said no. So today he tells us to do what I suggested yesterday but in a different way. I wanted to take some stuff out of a dump truck by dumping it into the bucket of a front end loader. Then dump the bucket into the dumpster. He said NO! Today he tells us to take the stuff from the dumptruck and put it into the dumpster by using shovels. It will save time he says. Oh My Fucking God! My way would have taken 3 minutes tops. He wants us to shovel this stuff out by hand. Taking roughly 30 minutes. I told my leadworker that my boss was smoking crack and he needed to go fuck himself. To which he replied you can't say stuff like that around me (Because technically he needs to report me for it as workplace violence. Not because he agrees with the boss which he don't). I said watch me J____ is on crack and needs to go fuck himself. Nothing came out of it. The job did not get done as my leadworker made up another job for us instead.
So I got off work and went to the shop. I was told that I really need to sell that vehicle now. As a rough estimate it will cost between 1500 and 2000. That is without reworking the heads. If they are warped it will go up more. I just love how dependent we have become on cars now.
After leaving the shop I come home and my wife is apologizing to me like she did something wrong. (she still is and I don't know why). I told her its not her fault. The truck is just a piece of shit. We bought it in July of 2001. In Dec we put a new tranny in it for 3000. 1 year later the heater core goes out. 700. 6 months later the head gasket goes out. 900. 1 year later the other tranny goes out. Another 3000. Then last summer we had starting problems the whole summer. The shop worked on it all summer but could not find the problem. Didn't charge us for any of the work. the whole summer until they were sure it was fixed. Finally they found the problem. The Anti-theft relay was bad. It would cost 700 to replace it or they would bypass it for a case of beer. They were trying to diagnose the problem for over 80 hours and only charged me a case of beer. The problem would go away as soon as we would get it to the shop. And stay away for 2 weeks at a time. Finally the shop would start coming to us where ever we were broke down at. That's how they found the problem.
Any how I went to the chevy dealer in town to talk to them. Unfortunately my wife talked to a friend that works there and told them the problem with the vehicle. Good Bye trade in. So I'm went to the Dodge dealer and talked to him. I went out with the sole purpose of getting options. Nothing more. I came home talked to my wife and she got pissed at me because she hates Dodge. I told her that we are NOT in a position to be picky. We need to take what we can get. They have a Neon that is 1 year old with 10k miles on it that we might be able to afford. But I was just getting options. She then got upset with me about the fact that she only wants to look at Chevy's or Saturns. Again I told her that we aren't in a position to be choosey. She went on more about the issue so I told her I needed to walk away. We were both getting angry and I didn't want to fight. So I went to my comfort zone. The Blogs.
After dinner we talked a little more but the kids kept interrupting. She is still crying and is very upset. I'm feeling like failure for not being able to keep us in a situation where we have a decent car. To top it all off we can't afford to fix the car. And we can't afford to buy a new one. The Explorer will be paid off as soon as we sign papers on the house. (that's another thing. I called the lady we have been dealing with today to see how the loan is coming along. She said that the lending company is behind on the paper work and it will be at least another week. It has already been 2 weeks since the lender received the papers from us. So my dad wants me to call the lady and get the appraisal from her and tell her that if we don't have papers to sign by Fri. night we will find someone else. I feel wrong for doing that so I haven't done it yet.) Back to the car. We will be paying it off when we buy the house. When we close escrow my wife and I will receive a check for 25000 to pay off student loans, credit cards, and the Explorer. With maybe 1000 left over. We are paying all this off just so we can manage to make the house payments. Where did I go wrong? Actually I think I have a problem that I read about on Space of Dysfunction. We tried to keep up with the Jones's and we have been living outside our means for years and it is starting to bite us in the ass now.
So that is my fucked up day. I'm still pissed at the way things are going in life. I'm waiting for my wife to get our youngest to sleep and I'm going to put her in the bath tub. And taking some advice from Venting Houswife I'm going to put some candles around the tub, let my wife soak for a while then I'm going to wash her off and got to bed. Unfortunately we have no bubble bath for her soak in. I just want this day to end.
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Not much going on
Well there's not much going on today. We woke up late so that put a damper on the morning. Actually I woke up at 5 but I was enjoying lying next to my wife so I just stayed in bed. She didn't wake up till 8. So I just held her for a couple hours. Then we just laid in bed holding each other. I love weekends! Unfortunately that's all we saw of each other today. I changed her oil and she went to work. She should be home anytime now though.
So what I'm going to do instead is post a recipe. I love to cook. So I figured I could share some of my favorite things to cook. Today's recipe is Better Than Sex Cake. MMMM MMMMM Good!
Ingredients: 1 box German chocolate cake mix
1 can sweetened condensed milk
1 jar Mrs. Smiths butterscotch Caramel sauce
2 Heath Bars
1 container Cool Whip
1 bag Milk Chocolate chips (I prefer Guittard)
Make cake as per directions on box. Bake for 8 minutes and drop chocolate chips into cake. Finish baking remainder of time. When cake is done remove from oven and poke many holes in cake with the end of a wooden spoon. Pour condensed milk over cake being sure to fill all the holes, then place in fridge overnight. Next day pour jar of Mrs. Smiths over cake. Spread Cool Whip over cake. Break heath bars into small pieces and sprinkle over cake. Keep refridgerated. Enjoy.
This cake is really good. It's rich though. Don't tell your significant other that wow this is better than sex. You won't be getting any for a while even if it is a joke. Speaking from experience.
Just posted that because there's really nothing more to post right now and I want to try to post more often with out starting controversy in doing so.
So what I'm going to do instead is post a recipe. I love to cook. So I figured I could share some of my favorite things to cook. Today's recipe is Better Than Sex Cake. MMMM MMMMM Good!
Ingredients: 1 box German chocolate cake mix
1 can sweetened condensed milk
1 jar Mrs. Smiths butterscotch Caramel sauce
2 Heath Bars
1 container Cool Whip
1 bag Milk Chocolate chips (I prefer Guittard)
Make cake as per directions on box. Bake for 8 minutes and drop chocolate chips into cake. Finish baking remainder of time. When cake is done remove from oven and poke many holes in cake with the end of a wooden spoon. Pour condensed milk over cake being sure to fill all the holes, then place in fridge overnight. Next day pour jar of Mrs. Smiths over cake. Spread Cool Whip over cake. Break heath bars into small pieces and sprinkle over cake. Keep refridgerated. Enjoy.
This cake is really good. It's rich though. Don't tell your significant other that wow this is better than sex. You won't be getting any for a while even if it is a joke. Speaking from experience.
Just posted that because there's really nothing more to post right now and I want to try to post more often with out starting controversy in doing so.
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Thank You!
A Big Thank You goes out to Frustrated for helping me with the code for video. I just added the video to my page. It is of Evanescence, and the song is My Immortal. (I have a thing for the lead singer of this group Amy Lee. As long as she's not wearing the Goth makeup of all white face.) It use to be the ring tone for my wife when she called my phone. Now it is Broken by Seether featuring Amy Lee. I will use that video in a few days.
We didn't do much today. We woke up late and ate breakfast. After we ate I did the dishes and started to get some of my stuff ready for my trip with my dad next week. I can't wait. After lunch time we went into town (What we call town anyways. It's 20 miles away) and went to the mall. It's been 2 years since I stepped into a mall. I can't believe I used to hang out there for fun just 14 years ago when I was in school. I can't believe how many freaky kids hang out there and that I used to be one of those freaks. We just walked around for awhile. My wife then surprised us by taking us to Cold Stone Creamery. It was my first time there and it was good. We came home and played in the back yard with the kids while I cooked dinner. And that was our day. My wife is reading a bed time story to the kids and then putting them to bed.
Tonight I am going to shave my beard off 6 months early. I usually keep it from mid Aug. to the end of duck season in Jan. This year I can't stand it. The main reason for shaving it is that it seems to get in the way when I go to kiss my wife or take a bite of food. I asked her again what she wanted. She said it's your body do what you want I don't care. So I might even shave off the goatee too. The mustache stays. I think I look like a kid without it. And that's the excitement for the day. Oh we did dance for a few minutes in the kitchen before doing dishes after dinner. I was enjoying it till the kids wanted to stand between us. That ended it for me.
Good Night!
We didn't do much today. We woke up late and ate breakfast. After we ate I did the dishes and started to get some of my stuff ready for my trip with my dad next week. I can't wait. After lunch time we went into town (What we call town anyways. It's 20 miles away) and went to the mall. It's been 2 years since I stepped into a mall. I can't believe I used to hang out there for fun just 14 years ago when I was in school. I can't believe how many freaky kids hang out there and that I used to be one of those freaks. We just walked around for awhile. My wife then surprised us by taking us to Cold Stone Creamery. It was my first time there and it was good. We came home and played in the back yard with the kids while I cooked dinner. And that was our day. My wife is reading a bed time story to the kids and then putting them to bed.
Tonight I am going to shave my beard off 6 months early. I usually keep it from mid Aug. to the end of duck season in Jan. This year I can't stand it. The main reason for shaving it is that it seems to get in the way when I go to kiss my wife or take a bite of food. I asked her again what she wanted. She said it's your body do what you want I don't care. So I might even shave off the goatee too. The mustache stays. I think I look like a kid without it. And that's the excitement for the day. Oh we did dance for a few minutes in the kitchen before doing dishes after dinner. I was enjoying it till the kids wanted to stand between us. That ended it for me.
Good Night!
Friday, September 23, 2005
A question for fellow Bloggers
I was looking at the new format of Frustrated's blog today and liked the way she added the music video. I tried to add one to mine this afternoon. I got the video to appear on the blog but it was way down at the bottom of the page. It also moved everything that was on the right column to the bottom of the page also. How do I get it to appear on the right column just below my profile and keep all the other stuff that is on that column in the place it is now? I would ask her on her site but she blocked comments on that topic.
Thanks in advance for any help! I'll get the hang of this stuff at some point.
Thanks in advance for any help! I'll get the hang of this stuff at some point.
The ups and downs of life
First off I'd like to thank you all for your input on the performance problem last week. Looking back on it I think that I was trying to hard to make it happen to fit it into the time constraints. Besides last night was wonderful. ;) Like Digger said we are in a much better spot than we have been in that department.
Yesterday at work I seemed to be having a good day so I called my wife and asked her to bring our youngest son to my yard so we could go out to lunch. She agreed and picked me up and we went to Mc Donalds. (yeah I'm a real extravagant guy ;p ) It was nice to be able to go out to lunch with my wife and son. We had a good time.
Later that day when I came home from work the kids were at our neighbors house playing with their son. We talked for a little while and the day was still going pretty darn good. We cooked dinner together and after dinner I decided to let my sons go play in the backyard and I helped my wife with the dishes. Thats when the down hit. I was standing behind my wife giving her a hug and talking about how hot I was. So I asked her if she would like me to cut my hair or let it grow back out. She said it was up to me. I said I don't care tell me what you want. Would you like me to trim my beard too or even shave it off? She said it's your body do what you want. My response was I know it's my hair and beard I'm asking because I want to know what you want. I just want to make you happy. At that point she started crying. A lot. Her face got all puffy and tears were srteaming down her face. So instantly I thought that I did something wrong to upset her, and asked what was wrong. She said she didn't know. Nothing was wrong. Me being the idiot male I am kept pushing it asking why she was crying, what did I do or say. She kept saying nothing. So the rest of the night was spent in silence. After the kids went to bed she came to the computer with me and sat on my lap and actually read a few Blogs. She seems to be interested in ~anne's Blog. She started taking control of the mouse and browsed my site for awhile. When we got to the post entitled Am I whipped? she read the part about her "assets" . She says 'Oh great. Now I have assets!' I told her I didn't know what else to say. She then thought that what I meant by being whipped was that she bosses me around. I had her read the whole post and she understood. We went to bed and I asked her again what was wrong and she said she's not really happy, but couldn't explain why. So I just held her and we went to sleep.
Today was a decent day. I came home from work early so that she could go to a job interview at the "retirement" community in town. It's actually one of those Active Adult Communities where you need to be over 55 to live there. Apparently they are looking for a Massage Therapist to work in their gym. She said that the interview went real good and that as of now she is the front runner for the job. So she is in a good mood today and is happy now. So We'll see how she's doing when she comes home from work tonight.
Yesterday at work I seemed to be having a good day so I called my wife and asked her to bring our youngest son to my yard so we could go out to lunch. She agreed and picked me up and we went to Mc Donalds. (yeah I'm a real extravagant guy ;p ) It was nice to be able to go out to lunch with my wife and son. We had a good time.
Later that day when I came home from work the kids were at our neighbors house playing with their son. We talked for a little while and the day was still going pretty darn good. We cooked dinner together and after dinner I decided to let my sons go play in the backyard and I helped my wife with the dishes. Thats when the down hit. I was standing behind my wife giving her a hug and talking about how hot I was. So I asked her if she would like me to cut my hair or let it grow back out. She said it was up to me. I said I don't care tell me what you want. Would you like me to trim my beard too or even shave it off? She said it's your body do what you want. My response was I know it's my hair and beard I'm asking because I want to know what you want. I just want to make you happy. At that point she started crying. A lot. Her face got all puffy and tears were srteaming down her face. So instantly I thought that I did something wrong to upset her, and asked what was wrong. She said she didn't know. Nothing was wrong. Me being the idiot male I am kept pushing it asking why she was crying, what did I do or say. She kept saying nothing. So the rest of the night was spent in silence. After the kids went to bed she came to the computer with me and sat on my lap and actually read a few Blogs. She seems to be interested in ~anne's Blog. She started taking control of the mouse and browsed my site for awhile. When we got to the post entitled Am I whipped? she read the part about her "assets" . She says 'Oh great. Now I have assets!' I told her I didn't know what else to say. She then thought that what I meant by being whipped was that she bosses me around. I had her read the whole post and she understood. We went to bed and I asked her again what was wrong and she said she's not really happy, but couldn't explain why. So I just held her and we went to sleep.
Today was a decent day. I came home from work early so that she could go to a job interview at the "retirement" community in town. It's actually one of those Active Adult Communities where you need to be over 55 to live there. Apparently they are looking for a Massage Therapist to work in their gym. She said that the interview went real good and that as of now she is the front runner for the job. So she is in a good mood today and is happy now. So We'll see how she's doing when she comes home from work tonight.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
The performance problem
I guess I'm going to tell what happened last week. I'm still a little upset about it but so far no repeat problems.
When I came home from work last Thur. I talked to my wife about the payday shopping that we needed to do. She said that all she needed to do was change clothes and she'd be ready. So I followed her to the bedroom to take a shower. When we got to the room I closed the door and started kissing her and pulled her top off. We started kissing each other for awhile when the phone rang. So I went to the phone and answered it. It was for my wife so I gave it to her and continued where we left off before the phone rang. (Hey the other person couldn't see me). When she hung up she was ready to go and so was I. The problem was not getting things hard. We made love for quite some time. The problem came when I couldn't. The soldier came to the battle ready to fight but when he pulled the trigger the bullet didn't go off. There was no climax. After being in the room making love for an hour I could not complete even though she did a few times. So she said that it was ok, we could try again later that night. We decided to take a shower together and that was when the other problem hit. Usually when we take a shower together I get hard at the site of her. But that day I guess after not completing I couldn't get hard with her in the shower with me. That got me really upset and it bothered me the rest of the night.
Later that night after the kids were asleep we started making love again. I almost felt like it was going to happen again. I could get hard but the feeling was not there for me to complete. I finally did complete but it seemed forced from me and not 'natural'. It also took a lot longer than usual. (I guess thats not all to bad but that night it was). Since then we have only made love one time and things were fine. It still bothers me though about that night.
It seems we are changing places in our love making. I used to be the one to finish first and it would take her awhile. But now she climaxes first and I climax later. It's just never had to be 'forced' out till now. So there is the problem I had. Even though I know it's not true it still makes me feel like I'm no longer all the man that I should be.
When I came home from work last Thur. I talked to my wife about the payday shopping that we needed to do. She said that all she needed to do was change clothes and she'd be ready. So I followed her to the bedroom to take a shower. When we got to the room I closed the door and started kissing her and pulled her top off. We started kissing each other for awhile when the phone rang. So I went to the phone and answered it. It was for my wife so I gave it to her and continued where we left off before the phone rang. (Hey the other person couldn't see me). When she hung up she was ready to go and so was I. The problem was not getting things hard. We made love for quite some time. The problem came when I couldn't. The soldier came to the battle ready to fight but when he pulled the trigger the bullet didn't go off. There was no climax. After being in the room making love for an hour I could not complete even though she did a few times. So she said that it was ok, we could try again later that night. We decided to take a shower together and that was when the other problem hit. Usually when we take a shower together I get hard at the site of her. But that day I guess after not completing I couldn't get hard with her in the shower with me. That got me really upset and it bothered me the rest of the night.
Later that night after the kids were asleep we started making love again. I almost felt like it was going to happen again. I could get hard but the feeling was not there for me to complete. I finally did complete but it seemed forced from me and not 'natural'. It also took a lot longer than usual. (I guess thats not all to bad but that night it was). Since then we have only made love one time and things were fine. It still bothers me though about that night.
It seems we are changing places in our love making. I used to be the one to finish first and it would take her awhile. But now she climaxes first and I climax later. It's just never had to be 'forced' out till now. So there is the problem I had. Even though I know it's not true it still makes me feel like I'm no longer all the man that I should be.
A sons Bday and some notes
So yesterday was my sons Bday. He is now 11 years old. We had my parents, sister, and grandma over for some cake and his presents. He had a good time last night. While they were all here we found out my parents are going to put there house up for sale pretty soon and move into my town. My dad is retiring in Dec. and my mom is retiring in Aug. They have already booked a cruise in Aug. to celebrate.
So today by taking an idea I got off another Blog I started to send my wife some sexy text messages today. I was telling her what I wanted to do to her when she got home from work. She never responded to any of them. While I was getting turned on just writing them. So around lunch time she calls me up and asks what I want for dinner. I told her I don't know. Then the subject came around to the text messages and she said light heartedly that they were annoying her because she was busy doing housework. It hurt my feelings so I stopped the messages for awhile. Then I decided to try again anyways. I told her that if she didn't like it slow like I was telling her that I would give it to her real fast and hard like she likes. She replied by saying that I was mean. I was going to talk to her about it when I got home but she was in the shower. So I went online to check my email. Glad I did. This is why I go over the cell bill with a fine tooth comb. It said we went over our minutes by like 150 minutes. I know we did not do that. We have 1000 minutes shared plus free weekends, nights and mobile to mobile. Well I spent 1 hour on the phone with the phone company and got it all straightened out. They charged us for weekends, nights and mobile to mobile. They over charged us 600 minutes that were supposed to be free. Saved me 80 dollars in overages. Thats why I check the cell bill closely.
We have not heard back from my wife's sister. I talked to her about the situation on Mon. and she was very excited about it but no calls yet. So we are still waiting. I'll call her again tomorrow.
So today by taking an idea I got off another Blog I started to send my wife some sexy text messages today. I was telling her what I wanted to do to her when she got home from work. She never responded to any of them. While I was getting turned on just writing them. So around lunch time she calls me up and asks what I want for dinner. I told her I don't know. Then the subject came around to the text messages and she said light heartedly that they were annoying her because she was busy doing housework. It hurt my feelings so I stopped the messages for awhile. Then I decided to try again anyways. I told her that if she didn't like it slow like I was telling her that I would give it to her real fast and hard like she likes. She replied by saying that I was mean. I was going to talk to her about it when I got home but she was in the shower. So I went online to check my email. Glad I did. This is why I go over the cell bill with a fine tooth comb. It said we went over our minutes by like 150 minutes. I know we did not do that. We have 1000 minutes shared plus free weekends, nights and mobile to mobile. Well I spent 1 hour on the phone with the phone company and got it all straightened out. They charged us for weekends, nights and mobile to mobile. They over charged us 600 minutes that were supposed to be free. Saved me 80 dollars in overages. Thats why I check the cell bill closely.
We have not heard back from my wife's sister. I talked to her about the situation on Mon. and she was very excited about it but no calls yet. So we are still waiting. I'll call her again tomorrow.
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